Meme Tarzan, Youyou Jane

By
Real Estate Agent with Realty Executives

I never meant to be a Realtor.  There, I said it.

Nope.  Not for me.

The abuse that I saw my father absorb.  The tense phone conversations in which the familiar voice grew eerily calm.  The clenched jaw.  The timebank always under one arm.  The phone calls while on vacation.  The last minute canceling of plans.  The nightmares about missed appointments.

No, thank you.  Not for me.

Growing up on the mean streets of Scottsdale, life could get pretty rough.  I was one of the fortunate ones who escaped the vicious cycle of house wrapping and ding-dong ditch through youth soccer.  I shutter to think where I would be today without it.  Probably right here, I suppose, only minus all of those halftime orange wedges.  I could have developed scurvy for God sakes!  From the age of 5 through my early 20's, soccer defined me.

Right about the time I headed off for Texas Christian University, I began to realize that the European leagues were not scouting me particularly hard.  To this day, I am not sure how they missed such precocious talent.  They were obviously not keeping tabs on the exploits of former blue ribbon winners for the 50 yard dash in Cochise Elementary School Field Day competitions.  Don't ask me.  I don't get it either.  So after a lifetime of competing, I hung up the spikes for good after a few collegiate seasons.  I did dust them off several years later for the sole purpose of shredding a hammy.  Quite successfully, I might add.

Absent the one thing that had always served as my identity, it was time to figure out exactly what I would do with the next 20-30 years of my life.  Juggling was out.  Too many hours spent with my feet to make up for years of neglecting my hand-eye coordination.  Ditto for a career in orthodontics.  A faceful of metal throughout my entire high school existence was more than enough time spent in that field, thank you.  I was terribly disappointed to learn that I was on the wrong continent to play bass in a reggae band.  All the better, though, when you consider that I cannot play bass and the dreadlock thing just wasn't working.  As far as I knew, nobody was hiring college grads to listen to Pink Floyd.  So what now?  Certainly not Real Estate.

To this day, I still don't know what happened.  I was doing my typical soul searching on a Tuesday morning when a light bulb exploded in my head.  Not one of those cheap ones that you replace every two months, but a brilliant incandescent beacon.  Dormant red Realtor blood cells sprung to life as purpose coursed through my veins.  It was an honest to goodness "Luke, I am your father" type of epiphany.  There was no point denying it any longer.  I was groomed to be a Scottsdale, AZ Real Estate agent.  That day was 8 years ago in March. 

Now it is my oldest son that knows he is not meant to be a Realtor. 

Nope.  Not for him.

Not even 2 years old, he sees the abuse his father absorbs.  The tense conversations in which the familiar voice grows eerily calm.  The clenched jaw.  The timebank always under one arm.  The phone calls while on vacation.  The last minute canceling of plans.  The nightmares about missed appointments.

Not for him.

So without further ado ...The future of Scottsdale Real Estate!

Contact Jack Slaybaugh for all of your Scottsdale, AZ Real Estate needs ... in 2030!

 

Not sure that I hit on 5 things, but that's me in a nutshell.

All aboard the Meme train: Ray Slaybaugh, Rochelle Kosanovich, Yvonne Root

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Rainmaker
56,569
Patrick Canavan
Keller Williams Realty - Yorba Linda, CA
Orange County Real Estate Voice

Hi Paul,

Fantastic MeME!  You are a good writer and have a great sense of humor.  Gave me a good laugh late at night here. ;)  Perhaps your soccer skills were not noticed because you were before your time.  America was not ready for you yet!

Aug 18, 2007 09:12 PM #7
Rainer
274,551
Adam Waldman
Westcott Group Real Estate Company - Hauppauge, NY
Realtor - Long Island

Paul - Meme think youyou do great job on blog!  Meme told youyou that you can do it!  Ok, I can't do this whole reply in Tarzan-speak because it will get tiresome, but you get the idea.  I loved the meme title.  I was laughing out loud before ever reading the post.  As far as the blog itself, here is my movie review headline that you can use when advertising this in the entertainment section of your Friday paper.

"I laughed.  I cried.  The feel-good blog of the year." (feel free to use these in all ads).

You smile on the outside so the world doesn't feel your pain.  Your hilarious comments are just a shield that you hide behind so that the Active Rain community treats you as an equal and not some charity case because of your tough upbringing.  At least you were able to count on those few orange wedges each week as a source of nourishment.  Think about all of the places where they don't have youth soccer OR orange wedges.

Good for you for pulling yourself up by your bootstraps and making it out of Scottsdale to TCU.  I wish I knew how these European scouts kept their jobs, when they are clearly asleep at the wheel.  I mean, you can't teach the kind of speed that it takes to be a blue-ribbon winner at the Cochise Elementary School Field Day 50-yard dash.  It's something that you're either born with or you're not. 

Why is it that Major League Baseball can start scouting kids when they're old enough to walk in places like the Dominican Republic and places like Europe show no such follow through with their scouting when it comes to soccer?  It makes you proud to be an American to know that the youth of other nations will have the opportunity to leave their homeland to play baseball, while the rest of the world keeps us trapped in America with what can only be described as anti-American sentiment.  So what if we call it soccer and you call it football?  Does that mean that we don't understand that we can only use our feet to play the game?  Maybe we're just advanced enough to know the rules without having the name of the sport double as a rulebook!  I'm sorry for my tirade, but I just hate to see talent wasted.

Well, thankfully you ended up finding your calling and becoming the Scottsdale, AZ real estate agent that you were always meant to be.  I know that I speak for the other 1.3 million REALTORS® in saying that our profession would not be the same without you in it.  So it goes without saying that I speak for the other 43,640 Active Rain members when I say that this place wouldn't be the same without you, and we're all better off for having you in our lives, even if it is just for a fleeting moment in the time that it takes to read a blog or comment from Paul "The Survivor" Slaybaugh.

My dream is that years from now, my son and your son spend their days as REALTORS on Active Rain requesting memes from each other.  Isnt' the least that we can hope for is to have our children carry the torch for us?

Thank you for sharing this rags-to-riches tale with all of us.

"I I knew that there was a reason that I I picked You You to do this Meme."

Aug 19, 2007 12:14 AM #8
Rainmaker
337,939
Paul Slaybaugh
Realty Executives - Scottsdale, AZ
Scottsdale, AZ Real Estate
Patrick, Thanks for the positive review!  I think you're on to something about America not being ready for my impressive soccer skills at the time.  Either that, or the fact that I was simply good, but not great.  I'll go with your notion!  Thanks for the comments, and thanks for adding me as an associate.
Aug 19, 2007 02:22 AM #9
Rainmaker
337,939
Paul Slaybaugh
Realty Executives - Scottsdale, AZ
Scottsdale, AZ Real Estate

Adam, you are always good for a laugh.  You could make a blog out of your responses. 

 Hey, wait a second ... a top response blog?  That's just crazy enough to work!

The movie pitch that I envision when my life story heads to the big screen is, "Boy meets world, world kicks boy in the lemons, boy makes lemonade."

Or how about, "In a world full of elementary school 50 yard dash winners, one man stands above the rest."

I'm sure you're right about our boys being on Active Rain swapping war stories in 20 years, if they don't have some sort of Borg-like group consciousness thing going by then.  Probably no need to blog if you share the same field of consciousness as everyone else.  I just gave myself a headache.

Thanks, as always, for following my blog.  I'll see you around the AR Addicts lounge.  When are the lazyboy chairs that reek of stale cigarettes and sweat being delivered?

Aug 19, 2007 02:40 AM #10
Rainer
274,551
Adam Waldman
Westcott Group Real Estate Company - Hauppauge, NY
Realtor - Long Island
Paul - I like both movie pitches.  You should probably test them with audiences to see which one has the best response.  The lazyboy chairs are in.  Speaking of lazyboy are you becoming one?  I gave you the answer to the movie quote question on your blog My Name I Paul....And I'm An AR Addict along with a very nice consolation prize for playing the game.  No response?  What gives!
Aug 19, 2007 06:02 AM #11
Rainmaker
337,939
Paul Slaybaugh
Realty Executives - Scottsdale, AZ
Scottsdale, AZ Real Estate
Oops, I'm on it!
Aug 19, 2007 06:05 AM #12
Rainer
274,551
Adam Waldman
Westcott Group Real Estate Company - Hauppauge, NY
Realtor - Long Island
Paul - I featured a link back to this awesome Meme in my most recent blog Top 10 Reasons To Join Active Rain.  Check it out when you get a chance.  Talk to you later.
Aug 22, 2007 12:09 AM #13
Rainmaker
337,939
Paul Slaybaugh
Realty Executives - Scottsdale, AZ
Scottsdale, AZ Real Estate
You the man, Adam.  Thanks for supporting my blog, and for the great new group (Active Rain Adicts)! 
Aug 22, 2007 08:00 AM #14
Rainer
17,604
Stephanie Heron
Dressing Rooms LLC - Scottsdale, AZ
Weeber - Dressing Rooms

Paul - glad to see you played 'real' football. As a transplanted Brit I find it very hard to remember to call it soccer:) Great meme. Thanks

Stephanie

Aug 22, 2007 08:47 AM #15
Rainmaker
337,939
Paul Slaybaugh
Realty Executives - Scottsdale, AZ
Scottsdale, AZ Real Estate
Thanks, Stephanie.  American football really doesn't have an appropriate name, does it?  Did you follow a particular team when you were across the pond?
Aug 22, 2007 09:22 AM #16
Rainer
17,604
Stephanie Heron
Dressing Rooms LLC - Scottsdale, AZ
Weeber - Dressing Rooms

Hi Paul - I didn't really support a team back home but I come from Brighton and Brighton and Hove Albion made it to he FA cup final once - I think:)

Stephanie

Aug 24, 2007 09:28 AM #17
Rainmaker
215,581
Lucky Lang
Keller Williams Realty Marco Island - Marco Island, FL
Marco Island & Naples Florida Real Estate

Paul,

Very humorous presentation of your meme!  I have listed your meme in my alphabetical meme list.  Check it out when you get a chance!

Lucky :)

Aug 25, 2007 01:33 AM #18
Rainer
18,712
Don Diltz
Coldwell Banker - Menlo Park, CA
DRE:01204965
Nice story and nice presentation.  Your approach to life should go a long way in bringing you success.  Best regards,myrob
Aug 25, 2007 05:43 AM #19
Rainmaker
337,939
Paul Slaybaugh
Realty Executives - Scottsdale, AZ
Scottsdale, AZ Real Estate

Lucky, thank you very much!

Don, I appreciate the kind words.  Much success to you as well.

 

Aug 27, 2007 08:32 AM #20
Rainer
45,175
Ginger Wilcox
Sindeo - San Francisco, CA
I just found your meme.  Totally LOL.  SO TRUE.  I was positive I wasn't going to be one of those crazy realtors, but it was in my blood and I am telling you now--- I am passing it on!!
Sep 12, 2007 09:15 AM #21
Rainmaker
337,939
Paul Slaybaugh
Realty Executives - Scottsdale, AZ
Scottsdale, AZ Real Estate
Scary isn't it, Ginger?  Some kind of inexorable, magnetic pull that eventually reels us in.  Fight, struggle, deny ... all to no avail.  If you grew up around it, it owns you.  Our poor, poor children!
Sep 12, 2007 03:10 PM #22
Rainmaker
212,573
Jennifer Monroe
Savvy + Company Real Estate - Charlotte, NC
Real Estate REALTOR®/Broker in Beautiful Charlotte

Awesome meme!! And I AM Jane, how did you know??!! 

My sister and I are also Realtors... why? Because our Mother has done this for 30+ years. So I know the blood of which you speak. You're a very talented and entertaining writer!

Sep 13, 2007 02:52 PM #23
Rainmaker
337,939
Paul Slaybaugh
Realty Executives - Scottsdale, AZ
Scottsdale, AZ Real Estate

Jennifer,

 Thanks for reading, and thanks even more for the kind words!  Portland is one of my very favorite places, so I can see why the family set up shop there. 

Sep 14, 2007 09:59 AM #24
Rainmaker
204,197
Everard Korthals
---Preferred Lifestyle Advisors--- - Lancaster, PA
Mountain Realty

Had to travel back in time to read this. What a great passage. And congrats on having such a wonderful son. He's going to be a good non-realtor one day.

Feb 25, 2009 07:23 AM #25
Rainmaker
337,939
Paul Slaybaugh
Realty Executives - Scottsdale, AZ
Scottsdale, AZ Real Estate

Wow, you trolled the deepest reaches of my archived abyss to find this one.  I'm glad you did, too.  I haven't seen that picture in quite a while.  Hard to believe that my younger son is now that age.  Wow.

Feb 25, 2009 07:36 AM #26
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Rainmaker
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Paul Slaybaugh

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