Just sucking my thumb here----gotta do whatever gets you through the night!

By
Home Inspector with Charles Buell Inspections Inc.

     In these economic times, can any of us afford to not be all that we can be?

     Which of your “beliefs” hold you back from being the best that you can be?   

Things are not always as foggy as they appear     You know the ones I am talking about. 

     They speak to you with that little voice in the back of your head that just “happens” to be wherever you are. 

     I know there are several voices, but I am referring to the one that you know is full of the worst kind of crap----but you listen to it anyway?  

     This voice will tell us we are not smart enough, good enough, pretty enough, skinny enough, fast enough, tall enough, short enough, or worthy enough. 

     This voice will tell us the timing is wrong, that we won’t succeed, that the lawn needs mowing, that the laundry can’t wait, that we have too much of a headache, that we come from the wrong side of the tracks, that the cold sore looks too bad or that we have too much body hair.  This little voice is the curmudgeon that beats us like an old dog and we still come home for supper with our tail between our legs and the paper in our mouth-----because we “believe.”  Sometimes the voice entices us with seemingly “good advice.”  But beware even the voice of blind ambition, self sacrifice and philanthropy (sure would like to try that problem some time) can distract us from our full potential.

     When we were kids, we were offered things to “believe” in----to get us through the night.”  It is possible to imagine that these “comforts” might set the stage for more “crippling” belief systems later in life.

     As children, we start out with next to “0” experience.  It is this lack of experiences that necessitates the “use” of crutches to get us through the rough spots in our lives----whether it is “Monster Spray” for those friggin creatures panting under the bed, or visits from the “Tooth Fairy” to help us deal with all our teeth inexplicably falling out of our head.  Kids can be very creative in making up places in their heads where they feel safe.  We create imaginary friends, we avoid walking on sidewalk cracks, we sleep with the light on and we suck our thumbs.  All these beliefs are common and even necessary as we learn who we are in the world.  More importantly they are relatively harmless----although sucking my thumb as an adult can be embarrassing.

     At all times in our lives, when we feel we are drowning, we will cling to anything perceived to be floating----in order to save ourselves (gives a whole new meaning to the term “floater”----but perhaps apt).

     Most of the time we could merely stand up----if we had the presence of mind to do so.  The pond is rarely as deep as we think it is, and the piranhas present are only the ones we put there.

     At other times we simply DO need something to lean on----to believe in----that is seemingly outside of ourselves.

     One of my favorite lines from one of my favorite movies, “O Brother Where Art Thou,” is when Delmar questions the non-religious Everett (George Clooney) about praying to God for help when they were about to be hanged.  Everett replies, “Any human being’ll cast about in a moment of stress.”

 

     Theoretically the older we get, and the more life experiences we gain, we not only shed our childhood beliefs, and/or modify/amend those beliefs, we actually can get to a point where we realize that “belief” is closer to part of the problem than part of the solution.  More often however, I fear we merely morph those “childish” beliefs into more complicated, self abrogating and self-absorbing “adult” beliefs.  And so we punish ourselves byAlways keep a fresh can of Monster Spray handy eating too much, smoking too much, blogging too much, shopping too much, hoping too much, gambling too much and drinking too much (pick your poison) and thereby creating our own self-fulfilling prophecy.  We “believe” deep down that we are that dog-----and on some level we are determined to prove it in our world.  In a sense, when we “fail” we get to be “right.”  How can that be wrong?

     Evidence that we can and do let go of previous beliefs can be seen in the following question.  As you have gotten older----more experienced----have you modified, amended or abandoned any previously held belief systems?  Most of us would answer yes----and some of us might be in denial.  Others might be content that the belief systems they maintain, nurtures them----as opposed to cripples them.  Eventually most of us DO let go of the notion of an “actual” Santa Claus.

     As long as we come into the world with “0” experience and as long as there are dysfunctional parents (and ALL parents are in some way----or to some degree) children will find things to believe in.

     I would argue that as parents, we can at least apply the band-aids that will allow our children to shed those crutches as easily as possible when they do become adults.  We can teach them the skills that will help them find those things to rely on that do not require debilitating allegiances once they have served their purpose. 

     And, at some point they are on their own.

     Any crutch, that we cannot afford to put in the corner after we are healed, has the power to cripple us for life.

     While it might be fun to continue dancing when the music is over, it may be a problem if it prevents us from dancing to the next song when it starts. 

     The narcotics that help us deal with the pain of shooting ourselves in the foot should not be continued to be used when the injury is healed.

     In the meanwhile.

     Whatever gets you through the night-----is alright----is alright. 

     Until that is, we decide to no longer allow the “crutch-of-the-moment” to keep us from being all that we can be.

 

Charles Buell, Seattle Home Inspector

 

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Comments (46)

Charles Buell
Charles Buell Inspections Inc. - Seattle, WA
Seattle Home Inspector

Jerry hot---thanks for the 10 points----now go away

Aug 13, 2010 02:53 PM
Anonymous
Jerry Hot Sardi

Jerry hot is a doof, moron, and former piece of lint on Gucci's long-standing reputation as somthing too expensive for my particular taste.

Good on you, Buell.  My bet is Alan May is behind that one;)

Must of worked, though.  Jennifer just clicked on the link:)

Aug 13, 2010 02:57 PM
#28
Barbara S. Duncan
RE/MAX Advantage - Searcy, AR
GRI, e-PRO, Executive Broker, Searcy AR

Congratulations on the feature.  It was beautifully done and appreciated by so many folks!

Aug 13, 2010 03:01 PM
Charles Buell
Charles Buell Inspections Inc. - Seattle, WA
Seattle Home Inspector

Hot Sardi, it May be so---but May be not----I gotta think Jennifer is smarter than that though :)

Barbara, thanks----had a lot of fun doing it and glad so many found some value in it.

Aug 13, 2010 03:08 PM
Paul Slaybaugh
Realty Executives - Scottsdale, AZ
Scottsdale, AZ Real Estate

Great, you just reminded me that I'm short.

Aug 13, 2010 05:37 PM
Christine Donovan
Donovan Blatt Realty - Costa Mesa, CA
Broker/Attorney 714-319-9751 DRE01267479 - Costa M

I think too many of us do rely our our crutches.  I've bookmarked this to review and remind myself.

Aug 13, 2010 05:45 PM
Charles Buell
Charles Buell Inspections Inc. - Seattle, WA
Seattle Home Inspector

Paul, wasn't there a song about that? :)

Christine, it is only human me thinks

Aug 13, 2010 05:55 PM
James Quarello
JRV Home Inspection Services, LLC - Wallingford, CT
Connecticut Home Inspector

Love the blog Mr. Charles.  :)

I believe that you must be self aware enough (another voice?) to know when to put those crutches away for good. Belief can be or maybe always is a two edged sword. I can so believe that I can be a rock guitar player that I am completley unaware that I totally suck at playing guitar. Pursing a dream, a belief to the point where I am ignoring all other voices. Sometimes the harder voice to hear is the one that tells you the truth.  

Aug 14, 2010 12:21 AM
Mike Mayer
Mike Mayer, Broker/Owner - i List For Less Realty, LLC - Lafayette, LA

Be all you can be. I think the U.S. military incorporated this slogan in their advertisements. It speaks loud and clear.

Aug 14, 2010 01:23 AM
Charles Buell
Charles Buell Inspections Inc. - Seattle, WA
Seattle Home Inspector

Jim, for sure----we sometimes go from belief to belief believing we are free of belief :)

Mike :)

Aug 14, 2010 03:13 AM
Donald Hester
NCW Home Inspections, LLC - Wenatchee, WA
NCW Home Inspections, LLC

Charles,

When I hear voices does that mean I need therapy?

 

Don

Aug 14, 2010 05:16 AM
Charles Buell
Charles Buell Inspections Inc. - Seattle, WA
Seattle Home Inspector

Don, there is a pretty good chance you won't be alone :)

Aug 14, 2010 05:27 AM
Richie Alan Naggar
people first...then business Ran Right Realty - Riverside, CA
agent & author

Professor Buell.....good post for most.......

The enemy has been sighted.......methinks its me........

highest

Aug 14, 2010 09:20 AM
Charles Buell
Charles Buell Inspections Inc. - Seattle, WA
Seattle Home Inspector

Richie, most of the time the "Enemy is Within"  (wasn't that a movie?)

Aug 14, 2010 09:24 AM
Diane Osowiecki
Diane O and Friends - Benchmark Realty - Franklin, TN
Greater Nashville Real Estate

Charles what a great post.  Bookmarked for the next time I reach for a crutch.

Aug 14, 2010 11:18 AM
Charles Buell
Charles Buell Inspections Inc. - Seattle, WA
Seattle Home Inspector

Diane, you mean it might become a crutch too?  :)

Aug 14, 2010 12:12 PM
Mike Martin
(909) 476-9600 ~ WeLoveSellingRealEstate.com - Fontana, CA
Realty Masters & Associates

Like the quotes! Great article.

Aug 14, 2010 12:44 PM
Steven L. Smith
King of the House Home Inspection, Inc. - Bellingham, WA
Bellingham WA Home Inspector

Mr Charles,

Honestly, during our important business meetings your sucking your thumb does take away from your credibility.

Nutsy

Aug 14, 2010 03:16 PM
Charles Buell
Charles Buell Inspections Inc. - Seattle, WA
Seattle Home Inspector

Mike thanks---glad you liked it

Nutsy, is that why your tail looks like it has the mange?

Aug 14, 2010 03:32 PM
Steven L. Smith
King of the House Home Inspection, Inc. - Bellingham, WA
Bellingham WA Home Inspector

Charlie,

The topic was your thumb, not Nutsy's tail. Just so you know.

Aug 15, 2010 04:40 AM

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