Miss Bad Manners back again class! In our last lesson, we covered the essentials of how to set a showing appointment. While that lesson applied most specifically to areas that don't require the listing agent to be present, this lesson should be universally applicable! So let's get started on the proper behaviors during the actual showing, shall we?
- As we discussed previously, be sure to show up EARLY... WAY EARLY! You do want to catch the seller before they leave. Be FRIENDLY, chat them up, get them to spill their guts! Why are they leaving? What are the neighbors like, etc.! They'll walk away thinking what a nice agent, you'll be rubbing your hands in glee because you just found out EVERYTHING you needed to leverage the deal heavily to your buyer!
- Okay, now that the sellers are out of the way, let's get down to business! Check your notes for the showing instructions! Now don't do ANY of those things! Unlock and open the door and whistle for Fluffy the Pomeranian! Want to go out boy?? Here you go you little furball, out the door and take Sally the Siesta Wondercat out the door with you too! That'll teach the sellers to not have an invisible fence! You are not paid to pet sit or chase pets, they SHOULD have taken their pets with them! Remember to claim you never saw them when the listing agent calls you later!
- Now that you're unencumbered by pets inside the house, we're free to get back to business! Let's start to adjusting the AC to FULL ARTIC! Isn't it cool to watch the electric meter spin faster than a Frisbee? Seriously, the sellers expect you to show a home at 72 degrees! Come ON!!!
- Now that the home is getting more comfortable, tell your buyers to wander around unaccompanied and give them the listing agent's cell phone number to call if they have any questions. Give each of them their own personal presentation book if the listing agent provides them. NO SHARING!!
- Allow little toddler Timothy to play with the seller's Precious Moments collectibles while standing on the kitchen ceramic tile floor. They have so many, they'll never notice if a few get broken! Just sweep up and bury in the BOTTOM of the trash can to hide the evidence!
- Give Timothy's brother Horatio the garage door opener and tell him to go cycle the door 100 times! You can count to 100, can't you Horatio?? Gooood!!!!
- Give the teens full access to the PS3 and let them rock out on Guitar Hero! Don't forget to smash the guitar at the end of the performance! Jimi would be proud!
- Make a quick check outside to see what type of grill the sellers have. If charcoal, find the briquettes and get the grill started for later, if gas, you can wait a bit longer to get everything heated!
- Go back inside, check the fridge for steaks, brats, chicken and hot dogs and side dishes! Pop a cold one or two to sip while waiting for the grill to get ready. Get the finest bottle of wine you can find in the home chilled for later! Look for the grill apron and cooking utensils. Remember, you set the appointment for three hours, so you've got PLENTY of time to get everything done!
- Since it's going to take a bit, go ahead and offer use of the pool and hot tub to the buyers! Ask them to call over a few of their friends to see how they feel about the home, and don't forget the swim trunks! No skinny dipping until after they've written a contract on the home, save the au natural for the inspection period!
- Speaking of inspections, turn ALL water faucets, tubs and showers on to full bore to confirm water pressure is adequate! Coordinate with your buyers to flush all four toilets simultaneously! If the system passes this initial test, don't forget the M-80 down the toilet test to confirm the robustness of the plumbing piping!
- Curious if their is hardwood floors under the carpet? Rather than pull off the vent cover, just pull up the carpet in a corner of the room and look. Stomp the carpet back down when you're done! Don't worry, the seller will be happy to call a contractor to get it back to original condition. Besides, those carpets need replaced anyway!
- Okay, time to start wrapping the party up! Make your rounds. A window unlocked for later access? Check. Garage door still up? Check. All the lights still on? Check.
- When you leave, make sure you remove the key from the lockbox "accidentally" to make sure no other agents can show the home until your buyers decide whether or not they want to proceed! When the listing agent calls, tell them you just dropped the key in the mail and it should get back within 2-3 days!
Miss Bad Manners hopes you found these tips useful to having an enjoyable showing! Stay tuned for future installments! Until next time, Class Dismissed!
Miss Bad Manners
If you liked this post, further Miss Bad Manners installments are available at the links below.
Miss Bad Manners Guide to Agent Negotiating Etiquette
Miss Bad Manners Guide to Interviewing Listing Agents
Miss Bad Manners Guide to Suburban Driving Etiquette
Miss Bad Manners Guide to Highway Driving Etiquette
Hope your weekend is off to a great start!
Liz and Bill