Miss Bad Manners Guide to Showing Homes Etiquette

By
Real Estate Agent with RE/MAX Elite 513.520.5305 www.LizTour.com SAL.2002007747

Miss Bad Manners back again class!  In our last lesson, we covered the essentials of how to set a showing appointment.  While that lesson applied most specifically to areas that don't require the listing agent to be present, this lesson should be universally applicable!  So let's get started on the proper behaviors during the actual showing, shall we?

  • As we discussed previously, be sure to show up EARLY... WAY EARLY!  You do want to catch the seller before they leave. Be FRIENDLY, chat them up, get them to spill their guts! Why are they leaving?  What are the neighbors like, etc.!  They'll walk away thinking what a nice agent, you'll be rubbing your hands in glee because you just found out EVERYTHING you needed to leverage the deal heavily to your buyer!


  • Okay, now that the sellers are out of the way, let's get down to business!  Check your notes for the showing instructions!  Now don't do ANY of those things!  Unlock and open the door and whistle for Fluffy the Pomeranian!  Want to go out boy??  Here you go you little furball, out the door and take Sally the Siesta Wondercat out the door with you too!  That'll teach the sellers to not have an invisible fence!  You are not paid to pet sit or chase pets, they SHOULD have taken their pets with them!  Remember to claim you never saw them when the listing agent calls you later!


  • Now that you're unencumbered by pets inside the house, we're free to get back to business!  Let's start to adjusting the AC to FULL ARTIC!  Isn't it cool to watch the electric meter spin faster than a Frisbee?  Seriously, the sellers expect you to show a home at 72 degrees!  Come ON!!!


  • Now that the home is getting more comfortable, tell your buyers to wander around unaccompanied and give them the listing agent's cell phone number to call if they have any questions.  Give each of them their own personal presentation book if the listing agent provides them.  NO SHARING!!


  • Allow little toddler Timothy to play with the seller's Precious Moments collectibles while standing on the kitchen ceramic tile floor.  They have so many, they'll never notice if a few get broken!  Just sweep up and bury in the BOTTOM of the trash can to hide the evidence!


  • Give Timothy's brother Horatio the garage door opener and tell him to go cycle the door 100 times!  You can count to 100, can't you Horatio??  Gooood!!!!


  • Give the teens full access to the PS3 and let them rock out on Guitar Hero!  Don't forget to smash the guitar at the end of the performance!  Jimi would be proud!


  • Make a quick check outside to see what type of grill the sellers have.  If charcoal, find the briquettes and get the grill started for later, if gas, you can wait a bit longer to get everything heated!


  • Go back inside, check the fridge for steaks, brats, chicken and hot dogs and side dishes!  Pop a cold one or two to sip while waiting for the grill to get ready.  Get the finest bottle of wine you can find in the home chilled for later!  Look for the grill apron and cooking utensils.  Remember, you set the appointment for three hours, so you've got PLENTY of time to get everything done!


  • Since it's going to take a bit, go ahead and offer use of the pool and hot tub to the buyers!  Ask them to call over a few of their friends to see how they feel about the home, and don't forget the swim trunks!  No skinny dipping until after they've written a contract on the home, save the au natural for the inspection period!


  • Speaking of inspections, turn ALL water faucets, tubs and showers on to full bore to confirm water pressure is adequate!  Coordinate with your buyers to flush all four toilets simultaneously!  If the system passes this initial test, don't forget the M-80 down the toilet test to confirm the robustness of the plumbing piping!


  • Curious if their is hardwood floors under the carpet?  Rather than pull off the vent cover, just pull up the carpet in a corner of the room and look.  Stomp the carpet back down when you're done!  Don't worry, the seller will be happy to call a contractor to get it back to original condition.  Besides, those carpets need replaced anyway!


  • Okay, time to start wrapping the party up!  Make your rounds.  A window unlocked for later access?  Check.  Garage door still up?  Check.  All the lights still on?  Check. 


  • When you leave, make sure you remove the key from the lockbox "accidentally" to make sure no other agents can show the home until your buyers decide whether or not they want to proceed!  When the listing agent calls, tell them you just dropped the key in the mail and it should get back within 2-3 days!


Miss Bad Manners hopes you found these tips useful to having an enjoyable showing!  Stay tuned for future installments!  Until next time, Class Dismissed!

Miss Bad Manners

If you liked this post, further Miss Bad Manners installments are available at the links below.

Miss Bad Manners Guide to Requesting a Showing Appointment

Miss Bad Manners Guide to Agent Negotiating Etiquette
Miss Bad Manners Guide to Interviewing Listing Agents
Miss Bad Manners Guide to Suburban Driving Etiquette
Miss Bad Manners Guide to Highway Driving Etiquette




Hope your weekend is off to a great start!
Liz and Bill

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Serving Warren County Ohio & Adjacent Areas

 

The Liz Spear Team of RE/MAX Elite
Elizabeth Spear, ABR, CRS, Ohio License SAL.2002007747

William (Bill) Spear, CRS, Ohio License SAL.2004011109  Kentucky 77938
Ask for us by name if you visit the office!

EHO Two locations: Lebanon & Mason, OH
Bill Direct:  513-520-5305
Liz Direct: 513-265-3004     
Fax: 866-302-8418

MailTo:  Liz@LizSpear.com

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Ambassador
2,736,252
Liz and Bill Spear
RE/MAX Elite 513.520.5305 www.LizTour.com - Mason, OH
RE/MAX Elite Warren County OH (Cincinnati/Dayton)

Anna, We saved this one just for the Friday Funnies!  Glad you got a good laugh!

Aug 13, 2010 01:42 PM #19
Rainmaker
911,689
Kay Van Kampen
RE/MAX Broker, RE/MAX - Springfield, MO
Realtor®, Springfield Mo Real Estate

I'd be pulling my hair out if I had buyers like this!    Too Funny!!!!!

Aug 13, 2010 04:11 PM #20
Rainmaker
1,169,003
Jane Peters
Home Jane Realty - Los Angeles, CA
Los Angeles real estate concierge services

I'm taking notes.  Don't want to miss one of these pearls of wisdom for my next showing.

Aug 13, 2010 05:13 PM #21
Ambassador
2,736,252
Liz and Bill Spear
RE/MAX Elite 513.520.5305 www.LizTour.com - Mason, OH
RE/MAX Elite Warren County OH (Cincinnati/Dayton)

Kay, No one too close to this, although honestly having little kids or "extra" family members beyond the actual clients in tow does occasionally make me nervous!

Jane, With your high end condos there are probably additional opportunities!

Aug 14, 2010 12:09 AM #22
Rainmaker
1,279,027
Donna Foerster
HomeSmart Realty Group - Parker, CO
Metro Denver Real Estate Assistant

Very entertaining.  I'm new to blogging and trying to find my style.  Seems you've found yours! 

Aug 14, 2010 05:12 AM #23
Ambassador
2,736,252
Liz and Bill Spear
RE/MAX Elite 513.520.5305 www.LizTour.com - Mason, OH
RE/MAX Elite Warren County OH (Cincinnati/Dayton)

Donna, Just keep plugging away, it will come in time!

Aug 14, 2010 08:26 AM #24
Rainmaker
335,661
Jenna Dixon
DRA Homes | Cobb County Real Estate - Marietta, GA
Empowers You With a Better Real Estate Experience

Upon flushing all toilets to check the system, insert one mega-dump & do not flush.  Turn on exhaust fan and shut door.  The seller will let you know if the fan worked when they call for, uuuummmm...feedback!

Aug 15, 2010 07:59 AM #25
Ambassador
2,736,252
Liz and Bill Spear
RE/MAX Elite 513.520.5305 www.LizTour.com - Mason, OH
RE/MAX Elite Warren County OH (Cincinnati/Dayton)

After having witnessed the aftermath of said actions in vacant homes, Miss Bad Manners can NOT advocate such actions!

Aug 15, 2010 08:05 AM #26
Rainmaker
320,735
Carra & Shae Riley
Brokers Guild Cherry Creek Ltd - Westminster, CO
Helping people Transition at all ages!

Liz and Bill ~  What a riot.. my favorite 

"Allow little toddler Timothy to play with the seller's Precious Moments collectibles while standing on the kitchen ceramic tile floor. They have so many, they'll never notice if a few get broken! Just sweep up and bury in the BOTTOM of the trash can to hide the evidence!"

Featured in Cosmic Cow Pie

Cosmic Cow

Aug 15, 2010 06:17 PM #27
Ambassador
2,736,252
Liz and Bill Spear
RE/MAX Elite 513.520.5305 www.LizTour.com - Mason, OH
RE/MAX Elite Warren County OH (Cincinnati/Dayton)

Carra, Toddler Timothy is one of the reasons we advise our sellers to put away all the little extra things that could appeal to someone.  It's too easy for a little one to pocket something they see and like without anyone realizing.  After showing 10 homes, no one will even begin to realize where it came from.

Aug 15, 2010 11:18 PM #28
Rainer
265,832
Jody Keating
Jody Keating Connective Realty,LLC, Bryan/College Station,TX - Bryan, TX
Broker/MM/Realtor, Bryan / College Station, TX

Liz and Bill, that was just too funny.........Kinda scary but funny...

:)

Aug 16, 2010 05:11 AM #29
Ambassador
2,736,252
Liz and Bill Spear
RE/MAX Elite 513.520.5305 www.LizTour.com - Mason, OH
RE/MAX Elite Warren County OH (Cincinnati/Dayton)

Jody, some of it is beyond the realm of probability (at least we hope so!).

Aug 16, 2010 05:48 AM #30
Rainmaker
690,050
Cynthia Larsen
Cotati, CA
Independent Broker In Sonoma County, CA

Ah yes! And don't forget to let the kids litter the driveway and sidewalk with their sunflower seed and peanut shells. Thanks for the laugh!

Aug 16, 2010 08:52 AM #31
Ambassador
2,736,252
Liz and Bill Spear
RE/MAX Elite 513.520.5305 www.LizTour.com - Mason, OH
RE/MAX Elite Warren County OH (Cincinnati/Dayton)

Cynthia, That, or the drawing chalk on the front porch... "Little Timmy wuz here"  :)

Aug 16, 2010 09:57 AM #32
Rainmaker
511,053
Robert L. Brown
www.mrbrownsellsgr.com - Grand Rapids, MI
Grand Rapids Real Estate Bellabay Realty, West Mic

I wonder if something like this truly happened. This is way too funny.

Aug 18, 2010 03:36 PM #33
Ambassador
2,736,252
Liz and Bill Spear
RE/MAX Elite 513.520.5305 www.LizTour.com - Mason, OH
RE/MAX Elite Warren County OH (Cincinnati/Dayton)

Hello Robert!  An element of truth, and a little fantasy mixed together!    Very little would surprise me though!

Aug 18, 2010 10:56 PM #34
Rainmaker
1,560,731
Carla Muss-Jacobs, RETIRED
RETIRED / State License is Inactive - Portland, OR

I had the pleasure of having one of those little darlings come on tour with us.  Ms. BM would be proud when I did nothing when he sat down and began to pound the grand piano -- a Steinway.  His parents were oblivious.  I hope the thing was out of tune BEFORE we toured.  What?  Me babysit?

(Actually, I did say something to the darling under my breath, and gave him that Mom "glare."  It worked).

Sep 03, 2010 08:44 PM #35
Ambassador
2,736,252
Liz and Bill Spear
RE/MAX Elite 513.520.5305 www.LizTour.com - Mason, OH
RE/MAX Elite Warren County OH (Cincinnati/Dayton)

Carla, That Mom Glare is an extremely potent tool and will bring most kids into line pronto if they've ever been given any discipline at all!  But doesn't it just kill you how the parents can allow and ignore this??

Sep 04, 2010 12:52 AM #36
Rainer
56,804
Elizabeth Baklaich
Virtual Assistant to Steve Baklaich RE/MAX Realty Source MN - Saint Cloud, MN

Wow, does MBM list homes too or just work with buyers?

Sep 17, 2010 04:33 AM #37
Ambassador
2,736,252
Liz and Bill Spear
RE/MAX Elite 513.520.5305 www.LizTour.com - Mason, OH
RE/MAX Elite Warren County OH (Cincinnati/Dayton)

Elizabeth, Everything but property management and commercial! :)

Sep 17, 2010 04:37 AM #38
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