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How to Ask for Business from Friends & Family WITHOUT Feeling Awkward

By
Services for Real Estate Pros with Top Producer Systems

Has this ever happened to you: you wanted to ask a close friend, family member or someone you've recently met if you could be their REALTOR... then stopped yourself because you felt uncomfortable and didn't want to appear pushy?

I've sure felt that way. When I first started in the business, I struggled with how to strike the balance between "Gregg the Friend" and "Gregg the REALTOR". It took me a good six months to realize that patience and a keen ear can make all the difference in getting business from the people I already know.

Patience, because inevitably my friends and family would bring up real estate questions on their own, and a keen ear, because they'd often reference important changes in their lives that would impact where they lived (promotions, new children, kids off to college).

It became easier over time, as I became more comfortable with my local market, and felt at ease discussing it in the context of my friends' specific circumstances. As I mentioned last week, the 2009 National Association of REALTORS® consumer study revealed that 53% of real estate transactions are conducted through our social network. It took some time to get there, but that was certainly consistent with what I saw in my business. Here's how I approached it:

6 Easy Tips to Ask for & Win Business from Friends, Family & Acquaintances

Get my 6 quick tips to make it easy for to ask for business from the people who are most likely to give it to you - the people you already know! >>

Tip #1: Chat casually about the local real estate market.
People always want to know how the market is doing and how much their home is worth. I would call friends, family and acquaintances regularly just to bring them up-to-speed on recent listings, sales and market trends around their homes or in areas they were interested. My brother-in-law loved to hear about the new listings as soon as they came on the market... it was a way for him to understand how his home might be faring. I always kept it conversational, and made sure he never felt pressured. They haven't moved in over a dozen years, but he was always referring me. I never took it for granted that he'd refer me just because we were family... I worked to show him I was keeping their best interests in mind.

Tip #2: Offer information with no strings attached.
I would provide my friends and family regular real estate market updates for their neighborhoods, and then create personalized reports to follow-up. When I started, that consisted of plenty of photocopying, gluing, and "scissoring". My flyers didn't look great, but they sure got noticed. The biggest challenge I had was keeping up with the demand... it was certainly time consuming. Products like Market Snapshot from Top Producer provide the same value, but sure cut down on the time. I would record what information in shared with my family and friends, so I could refer to it later on.

Tip #3: Listen for life changes.
A new job, promotion, marriage, baby, retirement can trigger a move. I would listen for these cues in conversations, and keep track of these changes - first by writing them down in an ad hoc way, and ultimately recording them in my Top Producer. Today, online networks like Facebook® and Twitter® offer an even easier way for us to stay in touch with friends' (which you can follow from Top Producer 8i), so we now have a new way of finding out about life changes that might involve a move. A timely offer of real estate information, and assistance in buying and selling, is never out of place.

Tip #4: Answer questions about the market with "it depends...why do you ask?"
We all get questioned about the real estate market - I preferred to find out what was motivating their questions. Was it simply curiosity? Or because they were thinking of moving soon? I would answer with ‘it depends... why do you ask?' because it really opened up the conversation.

Tip #5: Ask how you can be helpful to their network.
After sending out my personalized flyers, I would ask friends and family if they knew anyone who might want real estate updates for their own neighborhood. I would follow-up with personalized market information. It took time, but was worth every minute.

Tip #6: Don't be afraid to offer assistance.
When it's clear that someone is ready to buy or sell, I was always aware that the process can be stressful, especially for many people buying or selling a home only happens every few years. I would reach out to make it clear that I was there to help. I felt this was always easier if I'd kept them informed on the real estate market. I would refer to the specific market information I'd sent them, ask if they had any questions, then ask if I could schedule a more formal and listing presentation.

Even experienced realtors can feel uncomfortable asking for business from their friends, family, past clients, and acquaintances. Many avoid the conversation at the expense of losing valuable business. I am especially proud of Top Producer's track record in the industry for providing agents tools to reach out to family and friend regularly, and especially the addition of Social Media. As always, you can learn more about turning your social network in a true business asset on our website.

Now that you've seen my list, tell me about yours... how do you ask for business from friends and family?

Show All Comments Sort:
Dave Leiderman
Keller Williams Realty of Delmarva - Ocean City, MD
ABR, SRS, SFR - Realtor - DE & MD Beaches

Thanks for the tips.  I too struggle with this and after 13 years I still don't feel as though I've mastered it.  I live and work in a resort area where EVERYONE knows at least 2-3 people with a real estate license.  We're a small town so I try to be realistic about my chances of working with someone when I know that they are friends with some of my peers.  As you said, the real estate market tends to be a popular topic in social conversation.  If I had a dollar for everytime someone asked me about it.....I'm not pushy and I try to be patient when the subject of real estate comes up.  Whether or not that strategy works I can't say.  I've certainly gained friends as clients, who I know are friends with other Realtors, but I've probably lost more than I've gained.  Again, its a small town with A LOT of Realtors so in many ways its an uphill battle.  I appreciate your tips and will try to incorporate them in my daily business.  Many thanks!

Aug 18, 2010 04:00 AM
Dan Littlefield
Littlefield Realty - Gilford, NH
Littlefield Realty - Lakes Region, NH

Thanks for the post.  As a new agent in a market where I recently moved back to an area than I know a lot of people, this has been particularly challenging to me.  I am always grateful for suggestions on how to interact about real estate with friends without being too pushy.

 

Aug 18, 2010 04:27 AM
Gregg Paul
Top Producer Systems - Richmond, BC

Sometimes, the reality is that working with "some" friends and or family is not a good idea, the mixing business and your relationship today opens opportunity for trouble even though often we desperately need the deal financially but for the opportunities that are ripe..."why do you ask" charts your direction for where there may or not be an opening - thanks Brian and Kerry!

Jon, you have raised an excellent point about distressed situations.  This may lead to folks working with others because of personal privacy so while it is hurtful seeing someone else's sign in the lawn, if you don't get the listing,this may be why?  Brian reminds of the delicacy here as well, they may want help but are not sure how to approach us.

Dave and Dan, I as well was not aggressive by nature in the arena of solidifying my sphere of influence.  I did not want them to feel obligated and yet I did not want them working with anyone else.  By mailing photo copied graphs to everyone showing how the market was trending was a great way of staying front and center of everyone by supplying market trend updates that everyone has interest in whether they are thinking of making a move or not.  This is where the Market Snapshot is so effective.  So with everyone you meet when your walking down the street..."Hey, by the way, what is your email address?  I have this great report that is going to show you the recent listings and sales around your house and show you how the market is trending in your speciifc neighborhood!" is a great way to provide something of value to them.

I also remember a friend who broke my heart by listing and buying with someone else but referred me several people as well over the years!

Glad you could all relate to some degree, thanks for your comments! 

Aug 18, 2010 05:04 AM
Lori Bowers
La Quinta, CA
The Lori Bowers Group

I have always made it clear to my family and friends to use me and I will do the best job for them ever. After a few transactions the word spreads quickly on how good I am, so they do call me and use me. Also, I integrate clients from outside sources into my circle of friends. That really helps reinforce the value of my services. They do all talk.

Aug 18, 2010 05:19 AM
Valerie Duncan Stewart
(Metro First Realty) - Oklahoma City, OK
Real Estate Agent-Broker, OKC, OK

"It depends...why do you ask?" I love that. Great tips on how to ask for business from the people you know. Something I struggle with daily.

Aug 18, 2010 05:22 AM
Curt Hess
ExecuHome Realty - Annapolis, MD
Luxury Home Consultant, Team Leader & CEO

I love Market Snapshot...who can say "no" to such a quality collection of information, for free? No one in their right mind!

Aug 18, 2010 07:24 AM
Bob Force (REALTORĀ®)
Weichert Realtors - Aspen Hill - Mount Airy, MD
The FORCE in Maryland Real Estate

Gregg:

I enjoyed reading your list.  I remember being told to always get some information in exchange for giving some information.  The Fourth one talks especailly to that.  Plus you know a little better what they are looking for - general or specific information.  tha way you can sound more intelligent.

 

Aug 18, 2010 07:28 AM
Kaera Mims
Liz Moore & Associates - Fort Monroe, VA
Associate Broker, e-PRO, REALTOR; Hampton, Newport News, York Co.

I really appreciate the great tips. As much as I have learned through the years, this is still somewhere I struggle. Much success to you...

Aug 18, 2010 08:56 AM
William J. Archambault, Jr.
The Real Estate Investment Institute - Houston, TX

Gregg,

Clients turned friends, Yes!

Friends wanting to become clients, probably.

Family, never, never, never, never again!

If I could change the names I'd love to tell the stories, but that doesn't work with family. For the record they made great money, the deals were great, but never, never, never again!

Bill

Aug 18, 2010 09:18 AM
Kathy Knight
Intracoastal Realty Corp - Wilmington, NC
BROKER, ABR, CRS, GRI, SFR, SRES

Great post Gregg - it helps to be casual...

Aug 18, 2010 01:12 PM
roy brown
beulahland properties - Atlanta, GA

Gregg good information I will be sure to pass it on to some of clients that need credit repair, don't forget we also provide health insurance to real estate agents as well.

Roy Brown

rbrown@credadvise.com

Aug 18, 2010 02:48 PM
Gregg Paul
Top Producer Systems - Richmond, BC

Lori, a circle of trust is what we need for sure (one of my many favorite parts of the movie 'Meet the Parents'.

Valerie and Kaera, most of us are excellent in the service aspect of this business, it's the asking and hunting for business that is the hard part, it certainly was for me - you are not alone, I can assure you!

Curt, thanks for the Market Snapshot endorsement.  It will serve you well for referrals at the very least because you are providing (with no effort I might add) something of interest and value every 4 weeks, just like a 401K statement. You will always be top of mind with this marketing approach as Paulvalidated as well - thanks for sharing the book you recommended as well.

Bob, glad there was something in the list you appreciated.

Bill, I hear you and so do many of us, names not needed.  There are thousands of stories in the naked city we could all share and if this has not happened yet, eventually it does :(

As always, thanks everyone, great stuff again :)

Aug 18, 2010 03:24 PM
Susan Gaieski
Water Pointe Realty Group - Jupiter, FL
Director for Social Media & Technology

Gregg

You read my mind.  I usually use your tips 1,2, and 4.  I did use Market Snapshot, but the tools we use get very expensive, especially when sometimes the income is lower than what we spend in Real Estate to stay afloat.  Thanks for the tips. 

Aug 18, 2010 03:45 PM
Roseanne Campagna
John L. Scott RE Maple Valley, WA - Maple Valley, WA
Kent/DesMoines/Blk Diamond/Renton/Maple Valley, WA

The last thing I want is for my friends or anyone to feel like I'm pushing them into something just because I need to make a living. I agree that patience and listening to what folks are channg in their lives is the kind thing to do and simply offer to help. The tips in this blog are very helpful. I especially like the idea of offering to refer someone else who is a souce of referral for my business. Thanks

Aug 18, 2010 04:00 PM
Quincy Smith
Sage Smith Realty - Yuma, AZ

Great post Gregg.  I have also felt uncomfortable asking friends and family for business.  Your suggestions are solid (especially #4 & #6) and I will definately be using them next time I have a chance.  Thanks.

Aug 18, 2010 04:07 PM
Gregg Paul
Top Producer Systems - Richmond, BC

Susan, I understand fully the need to cut back but I would suggest taking a close look at the 'tools' you are currently subscribing to and if there is anything that is not leading to a conversation or even better an appointment - replace it with the Market Snapshot.  An NAR survey revealed that 74% of consumers indicated that getting regular market trend updates was considered extremely valuable. Our own research last year found that only 16% of agents werer supplying this type of information on a regular basis.  Invest in the opportunity and fill the gap!

Aug 19, 2010 03:22 AM
Cheryl S . Glover
Keller Williams Classic III Realty - Clermont, FL
CIPS, CRS, Green, GRI, SFR, TRC,

What great information!  I have read it twice and am forwarding it on to a couple of newer agents that I know will get a lot out of it! Thanks for sharing!

Aug 19, 2010 05:32 AM
Mahesh Mike Patel
First Team Real Estate - Anaheim Hills, CA
Call Me And Consider It Done!

Great Info. Keep them coming.

MIke patel

Aug 19, 2010 06:32 AM
Gregg Paul
Top Producer Systems - Richmond, BC

Cheryl, the newbies can learn from some of us with battle scars and war stories, hopefully some of this stuff sticks with them :)

Aug 19, 2010 06:34 PM
Gregg Paul
Top Producer Systems - Richmond, BC

Anita, thanks for the stamp of approval and Unknown....shucks, and thanks ;)

Aug 23, 2010 08:09 AM