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That Which Does Not Kill Me Makes Me Stronger

By
Managing Real Estate Broker with Howard Hanna Rand Realty License # 49FA1074963

OK, maybe Nietzsche is a little bit heavy for breakfast, but the theme of many blog posts I have read lately from my colleagues around the country is that this industry, which was never a walk in the park, is a real test of endurance, strength, and fortitude on both a physical and mental level.

When I was on the college rowing team we had a race with Princeton University, which was a far higher calibre of program. They were Ivy League, which is the top of the heap in crew. We were a club. The race was at Carnegie Lake in Princeton, New Jersey, and we got pasted. This was not unexpected. What I recall even more vividly than the whooping we got was the message on the bright orange T-shirt every Princeton oarsman wore that day: 

That Which Hurts Me Only Makes Me Stronger

Our T-shirts said things like "Villanova Basketball" and "Nike." Our coach was furious with us after my boat's race, not because we lost, but because we didn't row well. And instead of going straight back to campus, we stayed on that nice lake and had a rare, post race practice session. It hurt. Our boat made the finals of the Dad Vail Regatta (small program championships) later that spring, where we missed a bronze medal by a few feet. In doing so, we beat several other crews whom we lost to earlier in the season. Not bad for a club program. 

Hopefully, that is a lesson that will carry over. 

We work long hours, fight more buyer resistance, seller grief, and lender red tape than probably anytime in modern history. Transactions are mine fields, not the rocky, negotiable paths they once were. We are travelling that field of peril  while multi tasking with new regulations, new technologies, and unpredictable news which can scuttle the already fragile mindsets of those whose cooperation we desperately need. Some clients are unreasonably obstinate; other are paralyzed with fear; getting both buyer, seller, lender and two lawyers to cooperate in a transaction is like conducting a symphony on a high wire these days, yet we have to keep our cool. 

The industry was already one rife with rejection, competition,  and the odd unscrupulous agent. Now we have, thanks to layers of meltdowns, burst bubbles, collapse of massive institutions, recessions and a shell-shocked public to deal with an unknown frontier to conquer. And you thought getting a real estate license was a good idea. 

Anyone who can survive and thrive in this environment will prosper incredibly when stability (and, I'll whisper: prosperity) returns. They also have my respect. 

If you are a consumer, consider these things when choosing your advocate.

If you are a licensee, take heart. 

This too shall pass, and we'll be the better for it. 

J. Philip Faranda
Howard Hanna Rand Realty - Yorktown Heights, NY
Associate Broker / Office Manager

Mike, It is a pretty heavy quote. That which does not kill me can also make me a quivering, sobbing mess. But I'm glad you see the bigger point. 

Craig-Make those t-shirts orange and black! I'm a large. 

Deborah- I was in college for the last downturn but I won't rub it in. 

Kevin- Well this is one stiff challenge I'll tell you that. it was already challenging! This is like nothing I've ever seen. 

Charita- wise words. Commitment is a prerequisite in this environment for sure. 

Joan- if the metaphor works, use it!

Wayne- I'm with you on that thought. The waiting is the hardest part like the song says. 

Eileen- Good mantra.

Kristen- I cut my teeth in the 90's in a buyer's market - it prepared me in some ways, but this is so unprecedented. 

Liz, we'll be talking about these years in our rocking chairs. 

Brian- thanks. Here's to a better September for us proud indies. 

Bob- glad to make a contribution. But thank the guys on the Princeton crew !

Aaron- it is a war of attrition for sure. 

Sep 01, 2010 04:01 AM
J. Philip Faranda
Howard Hanna Rand Realty - Yorktown Heights, NY
Associate Broker / Office Manager

Martha- passion and commitment go a long way in these conditions. I recall 1992 being a rough year for me also. I was out of school  by then and taking my lumps in another industry. 

Sep 01, 2010 04:03 AM
Morgan Evans
Douglas Elliman Real Estate - Manhattan, NY
LICENSED REAL ESTATE SALESPERSON

I agree that if you can learn to adapt in an environment like this and prosper than you will be well positioned to take advantage of a market when transactions run more smoothly.  Its all about having that long term perspective and eye on today and on the future.

Sep 01, 2010 04:17 AM
Marcie Sandalow
Marcie Sandalow, Compass 301.758.4894 - Bethesda, MD
Bethesda Chevy Chase DC real estate

"Transactions are mine fields, not the rocky, negotiable paths they once were."  Boy, it sure seems that way to me.  Excellent post, and I appreciate the words of encouragement.  

Sep 01, 2010 08:10 AM
Jack Mossman - The Nines Team at Keller Williams in Lodi
The Nines Team at Keller Williams in Lodi - Lodi, CA
The Nines Team in Lodi

Phil:  Thanks for the inspirational message - alas, I was so swamped that I didn't get to read AR until this evening ... it's been one of those days .... and your post ... well let's say that it just came at the right time!  AND I want one of Craig's T-shirts!

Sep 01, 2010 03:30 PM
Blake Clifford
McColly Real Estate - Lowell, IN

Heck, I feel stronger after reading your post!  Great inspiration!

Sep 01, 2010 03:37 PM
Nancy Conner
Olympia, WA
Olympia/Thurston County WA

Wow, you said this so well!  Thanks for sharing what so many of us are feeling and trying to work thru every day.  We WILL make it thru - & I do think places like Active Rain where we can learn, share, commiserate, vent etc can help us hang in there. 

Sep 01, 2010 03:41 PM
Susan Hamblen
Exit Realty Achieve - Smithtown, NY
Making the world a happier place...one client, one

This too shall pass and we will all be stronger, smarter and better for it!

Sep 01, 2010 03:55 PM
Robert Slick
Beach and River Homes - Georgetown, SC
NRBA, RDCPro, Trident/CCAR MLS

So true, reflecting on all of the lessons this market is teaching us.

Sep 01, 2010 04:10 PM
Leslie Ebersole
Swanepoel T3 Group - Saint Charles, IL
I help brokers build businesses they love.

I'm thinking a lot about this right now, and I'm commenting so that you know that you have added to the debate team competition going on in my head. Right now we're in the regional round. There seem to be two sides: those who say "work, and work, and then work some more. It can't be good unless it hurts". But the other side asks "are we doing the right work? Why spend more time doing the wrong work"? I'll bet your crew coach had you working hard at the right things, or you wouldn't have achieved your success. That's what we need to do. 

Sep 01, 2010 04:39 PM
Fran Gatti
RE/MAX Integrity - Medford, OR
Managing Principal Broker - RE/MAX Integrity

Some of my best learned lessons, probably all, actually, were learned through adversity.  I'd like to say I'm one of the smart people who learn from the mistakes of others, but alas, that is not the case.  I am doing quite well this year, but it's because of an incredible amount of work and the best customer service I can muster while still getting some sleep each day. 

Great post, very encouraging.  Like many others, I needed that today. Thanks.

Sep 01, 2010 04:48 PM
Kathy Kenney
Keller Williams, Princeton, NJ - Robbinsville, NJ
Realtor - Princeton & Central NJ Homes for Sale

Affirmations! 

Sep 01, 2010 05:00 PM
Scott Hayes
(512) 786-8300 - Austin, TX
Realty Austin, Broker Associate

Timely post Phil. A young agent told me today, he had no idea how I could do this real estate thing as long as I have. He had a challenging week.

These things go in cycles. And I gave him some this too shall pass advice. Excellent post

Sep 01, 2010 05:41 PM
Bruce Brockmeier
Internet Marketing Consultant to REALTORS® - Yorba Linda, CA
Coached By Crouch

Anyone who can survive and thrive in this environment will prosper incredibly when stability (and, I'll whisper: prosperity) returns. They also have my respect. 

I agree 100%.  ActiveRain is one way for agents to survive and even thrive.

Sep 01, 2010 06:15 PM
Coral Gundlach
Compass - Arlington, VA
Real Lives. Not Just Real Estate.

Absolutely!  I am glad to see the positive posts about working hard and moving forward.   Being a successful Realtor is about being strong and determined and not letting market forces drag you down.   Getting our job done is harder than ever before and only the best (I hope) will succeed.  You won't hear me whining, I am having my best year ever!

Sep 02, 2010 12:07 AM
Gregory Bain
Mezzina Real Estate & Insurance - Little Egg Harbor, NJ
For Homes on the Jersey Shore

I think it is easy to become paralyzed by our clients. We invest too much of ourselves in every deal that when they "are unreasonably obstinate" we fail to move on to capture the next sale.

Sep 02, 2010 01:17 AM
Maureen McCabe
HER Realtors - Columbus, OH
Columbus Ohio Real Estate

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darn and it was brilliant...

 

Sep 02, 2010 02:23 AM
Richie Alan Naggar
people first...then business Ran Right Realty - Riverside, CA
agent & author

JPF.....

The pressure on a piece of coal.....produces diamonds....it is the coal that wins in the end while the "pressures" come and go.........

Thank you

Sep 02, 2010 03:35 AM
Dana Voelzke
loanDepot (203) 733-9408 - Bethel, CT
Loan Officer/ First time home buyer specialist

Thank you for sharing the personal story. Agree with #2!!

Sep 02, 2010 01:00 PM
Karen Bernetti
Southington, CT

Reminds me of the of the butterfly ... it's the struggle and fight for days trying to get out of its cocoon that makes its wings strong enough to fly.  

Sep 02, 2010 05:26 PM