“Being a window ain’t what it’s cracked up to be. Starting with the constant windowpane, and who else (besides a scorned women), can be so fragile, shattered, and broken. Although we are blessed with reflectivity, where does that get us? Birds fly into us leaving their mark, and we have to constantly put up with people checking themselves out in us. Do you know how many lipstick teeth we’ve saved? Even bullies, and amateur baseball players have it in for us, targeting baseballs and rocks in our direction. Can you imagine the mess when birds and seagulls sit near us, and the pressure when a man steps out on our ledge?”
“We’ve tried to be cool, but how can we when you dress us up with curtains, sheers, swags, blinds, and shades (not the Ray Ban kind)? And then there’s all the holiday deco, like lights, festive stick-on’s and fake (thank goodness) flamed candles.”
“And if you think that by screening us, we haven’t seen or noticed what goes on in your bedrooms and baths, your clearly mistaken! And by the way, have you noticed what gathers between us?”
“As for our glass, we’re all not the same. As if one pane is not enough, they are double panes too. There are many strong tempered, some slightly tinted and others who require security. My cousin Stained Glass, is always getting a bad rap, because its colored.”
“And I don’t know who said it, but windows are definitely not all square. We can have round or angular personalities as well. Our bulked up Bay window is quite a character, and is rumored to be on steroids. Everyone’s Jalousie of the louvered window and shutters over its moveable slats.”
“Now I’m not Awning, but I’d like to have my Casement, after all I’m cranked out.
In last weeks “Window Break Times” they captured the big Picture, another window was being Double Hung (cutting off it’s ventilation), and inward tilting Hopper got sentenced to the basement. Several others were framed and got thrown behind wrought iron grilles. When speaking sentencing, no one is Gliding alone.”
“I hoping this is my, “Window of Opportunity” to get you to appreciate us.”
“I’d like to ask all of you, what would life be like in a room without windows?”
“In closing, all we ask, is that you clean us once in a while, and let the light come in, and try turning off the AC, than open us up and allow the fresh air in. Once you do this, you’ll see clearly how important we are!”
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