To Tell or NOT to TELL? That is the question.

Real Estate Agent with BPO Realty LLC



To Tell or Not to TELL?

 It’s amazing how adults can get wrapped up in what they need to do, and forget why they are doing it.

Not making the kids an active part of your move could have long-term effects in their lives. Make sure you keep the doors of communication open. Be concerned about which school your child will be going to. Make sure you visit the school prior to your decision. Keeping your children involved will make your move a smoother one. Make sure that their needs are considered. Moving represents a big change for kids and adults. Just remember the kids are also part of the family. A family that I knew; refused to tell their kids, until the day they moved. These kids were angry and made comments to their old neighborhood friends that the new kids had stolen their home and their toys (the parents had thrown away some of the kids things so they did not have to move it) this cause problems for the new kids in the neighborhood, as well and the kids that moved. It is not pleasant when decisions made affect other people’s lives in a negative way, especially when it comes to children. Parents should make things work for everyone in the family, if the parents stress what do you think the kids will do?

Please tell the kids and keep them involved.

As Realtor’s we should also consider the needs of the little ones involved. When the parents see that you are concerned about their children, which is more than likely the reason they are moving in the first place, your chances of working with them will increase. Have the parents do a little project with the kids like having them draw their dream home, or having the kids sit on their lap and help pick homes online. If they are older ofter the older kids their own login to your web search engine, ask the parents if it is OK, for you to ask their child questions about what they would like to see in their new home.

A side  benefit when working with the whole family:

The prices of homes in neighborhoods that are in better rated school zones are more expensive, and in higher demand, this is something to consider as far as future resale and value of the property. And  yes, I understand that the zoning might change, so you can't guarantee that it will stay that way but if anything have the parents check out the schools before they decide where to buy, it will narrow your searches, and if you suggest it, you will look like the hero.

How to justify the higher cost:

# kids in private school x Between $6000 and $30,000 x YEAR x number of years in school.

HOME + Great Rated School Zone = Priceless!




Comments (7)

Rick & Ines - Miami Beach Real Estate
Majestic Properties - Miami Beach, FL

Great post Rosa Elena - I use a great tool to help the kids with the idea of selling ang moving and the parents really appreciate it as well.  I use a kid's contract where they promise to help out and keep their room clean and I give them a prize on a regular basis.  The other one is a moving checklist which gives them ideas of what to take and things to donate. 

kid's contractkid's moving checklist

Nov 03, 2006 01:57 AM
Laura Monroe
Inman News - San Francisco, CA
Dir. of Industry Engagement & Social Media
I agree Rose Elena! We re-located from our home town 18 months ago, and with two kids ages 10 and 6, it was a big move. Keeping them involved was the best way for them to deal with it. Of course we handed them alot of bribes, like a trampoline, a puppy etc....but we followed through with them, and it's all been worth it! It been a good life lesson too....change can sometimes be good!
Nov 03, 2006 02:41 AM
Rosa Elena Martinez
BPO Realty LLC - Lake Worth, FL


Can you email that to me so that I can take a better look, It seems great.


Nov 03, 2006 08:26 AM
Ginger S
Wilkinson & Associates, Wilmington NC - Wilmington, NC
Wilmington NC Real Estate & Relocation~
Rosa, How do you get your font to come out big? I copy and paste a larger font and then it morphs into a samller font when submitted.
Nov 03, 2006 05:46 PM
Rosa Elena Martinez
BPO Realty LLC - Lake Worth, FL

I Want My OWN room  

I cut and paste from MS Word, and I just did. I guess it depends on font type, I always have to cut and paste because it is hard for me to read the small print of the post. Maybe we should make the recommendation to Active Rain so they can increase font size, for all.

What did you think about the post?

Nov 03, 2006 07:36 PM
Joe Bernatowicz
Riley & Associates - Parkton, MD
Great Post ! I enjoyed it. I try to keep the kids involved by asking them questions during the buying process, provided their parents have no problem with that. I try to have them envisioining which room will be theirs and how much fun they will have in the neighboorhood they will be moving to.
Feb 22, 2007 02:19 AM
Renee Whitcombe
Hope this additional tips article helps:

Children Moving?  Handle With Care!


Real estate agents working with families that have young children know how extra-stressful moving—and the anticipation of moving—is for these clients. Agents who demonstrate genuine concern for the children during the relocation process make a lasting impression that helps build long-term relationships.


Help address the needs and worries of your clients’ children in advance by offering them these tips, provided by Renee Raab Whitcombe, author of Look who’s moving to a New Home:


  1. Present the move in a positive light.  Explain to your child the circumstances of the move (job transfer, new job, being closer to family), and let them know why relocating is good for the family.  Convey your genuine enthusiasm about the new home, new school and new neighborhood, but don’t overdo it with over-the-top cheerleading. 
  2. Listen.  And then listen some more.  Communication is critical between parents and children when introducing and preparing for a move to a new home.  Encourage questions and candid discussion.  Be sensitive to fears, sadness or confused emotions.  Let your child know you are available on an on-going basis.
  3. Explain the timing and process.    No matter what age your child is, the whole idea of moving becomes more clear when you explain everything step-by-step.  Be generous with details about who does the packing, when the movers will come, how the family will travel to the new home and how the movers will transport everything. 
  4. Involve your child in the moving process.  Allowing age-appropriate input on decisions and planning will help your child feel like a participant in the move.  Let your child help pack his own belongings, allow him to decide which things get thrown out or donated to charity and let him mark the boxes from his own bedroom.
  5. Avoid Moving Day Melt Down.  Judge your child’s emotional threshold for observing movers methodically pack, wrap and empty your home, and make plans accordingly.  Perhaps it’s best to drop him off with a friend or relative, or hire a babysitter to take him to the park and out for lunch at a kid-friendly restaurant.
  6. Visit and research the new neighborhood.  Find out as much as possible about your new home and area, and share the information with your child.  If your child can’t visit the home ahead of the move, bring back pictures or video to help him envision his new room and the kitchen where he will be eating meals.  Get a local map of the new area and highlight school, parks, grocery stores and other places of interest to kids.
  7. Stay in touch with friends and neighbors.  Help your child to understand that moving away doesn’t mean losing special friends and family forever.  Buy a new address book to collect contact information.  Take lots of pictures before you go for a memory book.  Have a good-bye gathering (at your home, a friend’s home or a local pizza place).  Send postcards with your new contact information to friends and family, and include a request for visits, phone calls and email. 
  8. Be prepared for some acting out and moodiness.  These are natural signs of stress and adjustment.  Your child may be experiencing several conflicting emotions.  It’s entirely possible to feel excited, sad and scared at the same time.  Going from familiar to unfamiliar is difficult, especially for a child who wasn’t responsible for the initial decision to move in the first place.
  9. Transfer routines.  As you get settled in your new home, remember to bring traditions with you.  Keep places as the dinner table the same.  Arrange food and drinks in the fridge like always.  Resume Friday movie-and-popcorn-night as soon as possible. 
  10. Plug in to the new neighborhood.  Seek out new friends on the block.  Sign up for activities your child already enjoys (sports, art class, dance or martial arts).  Visit the new school.  Get a library card and hit the mall.  A proactive approach will go far to generate a sense of familiarity quickly and is sure to help break the ice.



Renee Raab Whitcombe recently relocated from Cleveland, OH to Manhattan Beach, CA with her husband and two young daughters.  Visit her website for information about LOOK WHO’S MOVING TO A NEW HOME, an easy-to-personalize transition keepsake journal for children.

Mar 31, 2007 12:34 PM