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Educated Minds? Saturday Humor PUNS and Hardee Hars

By
Real Estate Agent with RE/MAX Sunset Coast

 



 Puns for Educated Minds

1. The fattest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference.
He acquired his size from too much pi.

2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned
out to be an optical Aleutian.

3. She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.

4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class, because it
was a weapon of math disruption.

5. No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.

6. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for
littering.

7. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum
Blownapart.

8. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.

9. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are
looking into it.

10. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

11. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

12. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said
to the other: 'You stay here; I'll go on a head.'

13. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.

14. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: 'Keep off the
Grass.'

15. The midget fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small
medium at large.

16. The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a
seasoned veteran.

17. A backward poet writes inverse.

18. In a democracy it's your vote that counts. In feudalism it's your
count that votes.

19. When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.

20. If you jumped off the bridge in Paris, you'd be in Seine.

21. A vulture boards an airplane, carrying two dead raccoons. The
stewardess looks at him and says, 'I'm sorry, sir, only one carrion
allowed per passenger.'

22. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. One turns to the other and
says 'Dam!'

23. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in
the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't
have your kayak and heat it too.

24. Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says, 'I've lost my electron.' The
other says 'Are you sure?' The first replies, 'Yes, I'm positive.'

25. Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root
canal? His goal: transcend dental medication.

 

 

Posted by

**************************************************************************************

Doreen Johan

REALTOR/OWNER  RE/MAX SUNSET COAST

2011 PRESIDENT Southwestern Michigan Association of REALTORS

www.johanrealestate.com  *  269-449-9897    *   doreen@johanrealestate.com

Doreen Johan REALTOR Southwest Michigan    be a FAN on Facebook

 

Comments (6)

Chris Canfield
Coldwell Banker Residential Brokerage - Tucson, AZ
Homes for Sale in Oro Valley and Tucson, Arizona

Thanks Doreen, This made for a great laugh--but I had to mute the sound to concentrate on my reading!!

Sep 11, 2010 07:56 AM
Steve Loynd
Alpine Lakes Real Estate Inc., - Lincoln, NH
800-926-5653, White Mountains NH

Doreen these are pretty darn clever, but who ever thought them up initially had way too much time on their hands.

Sep 11, 2010 09:17 AM
Nick T Pappas
Assoc. Broker ABR, CRS, SFR, e-Pro, @Homes Realty Group, Broker/Providence Property Mgmnt, LLC Huntsville AL - Huntsville, AL
Madison & Huntsville Alabama Real Estate Resource

Doreen, groaners one and all but I had to read each one...they're pretty good!

Sep 11, 2010 11:17 AM
Jennifer Prestwich
Henderson, Thornton, Broomfield and Westminster - Henderson, CO
Madison & Co Properties

Thanks Doreen!  These ROCK ;)

Sep 11, 2010 11:24 AM
Andy Chaudoir
Professional Inspection Services - Georgetown, Texas - Georgetown, TX
Your Home Inspection Connection in Central Texas

Hello Doreen - Thanks for the laughs.  I especially like the music.  What a nice surprise.

Sep 11, 2010 04:14 PM
Kaera Mims
Liz Moore & Associates - Fort Monroe, VA
Associate Broker, e-PRO, REALTOR; Hampton, Newport News, York Co.

Thanks for the life, these were cute.

Sep 12, 2010 11:10 AM