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Getting Your Child to tTlk to You about School Part 1 of 3

By
Real Estate Agent with ERA Davis & Linn Real Estate

Help kids communicate about school with these simple tips.

Getting the conversation started

First, think about the time of day and the kind of questions you ask. Whether your child is a chatty first-grader or a tight lipped teenager, he may not want to talk about a tough math test as soon as he gets home from school. And questions like "How was school?" are bound to elicit uninformative answers like "Fine."

Experts recommend taking a few minutes to reconnect as a family after the busy day before addressing school and household issues. Let your kids know you're glad to see them and wait a while to ask about grades. Keep in mind that they may be tired or preoccupied when they first come home, or they may want some quiet time before launching into the evening's activities.

When you start a conversation about school, ask specific questions about parts of your child's day or the school environment, advises Laurence Steinberg, author of The 10 Basic Principles of Good Parenting and a psychology professor at Temple University.

"I think the biggest mistake parents make is to ask broad questions like 'How was your day today?' and their kids give a one- or two-word answer," Steinberg says. "The more specific you are in your questions, the more of an answer you're likely to get."

At the beginning of the school year, he suggests asking general questions to learn about a child's classroom, teacher, and classmates, such as:

· What does your classroom look like?

· Where is your desk?

· Which of your friends are in your class?

· Who else is in your class?

· What did you like best at school today?

· What did you have for lunch?

If your child is not talkative, you can still learn a lot about her school experience through other means. Read the school newsletter, email the teacher, and talk to other parents on the phone. As you become more familiar with your child's daily routine, you can ask more-specific questions to get her talking about a project or class pet.

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