Can We Find Some Common Ground?

By
Real Estate Agent with RE/MAX Elite 513.520.5305 www.LizTour.com SAL.2002007747

Can we find some common groundHuman nature isn't to naturally want to dislike or hate someone!  You don't come out of the womb with a set of Cool Baby with the shades! prejudices! 

We learn that trait as we "grow up", deciding what's ours and not yours.  That you're different than me!  That selfish sense of us being the center of the universe, left unchecked, that turns us into one of THOSE people that everyone wants to turn the corner on before you have a chance to spot them!

There are so many flash points in today's society: political, social, religious... with TV stations, websites, papers and books set up to profit and cater to each aspect. 
Do you truly think most of those places really care about what they're espousing, or are they just taking advantage of the public...seeing the opportunity for notoriety, a big buck book deal or something of that ilk? 

I don't listen to Rush OR Al Franken, and I'm certainly not going to spend my money buying a book from either one...I'd rather drop a twenty in the Salvation Army bucket...at least there I think some good will come out of it! 
It's not that I don't care about certain things, I do, and maybe a lot stronger than you suspect.  The how and where to express that is up to me, not some self appointed guru.

If we stop the posturing for a bit, we MIGHT find out that we share more commonality than differences.  Perhaps we've traveled the same places, enjoyed the same movie, like the same food?  I don't have to treasure all your beliefs to value you as a person and friend.  We may just have to agree to disagree, to hold certain topics "out of bounds".

And if you live for those clashes, well, count me out! I'd rather discuss who's got the best football team this year or the best way to market our listings!

Just my opinion, for whatever it's worth to you!
Bill the Engineer/REALTOR

 

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Elizabeth Spear, ABR, CRS, Ohio License SAL.2002007747

William (Bill) Spear, CRS, Ohio License SAL.2004011109  Kentucky 77938
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Rainmaker
2,672,457
Debbie Gartner
The Flooring Girl - White Plains, NY
The Flooring Girl & Blog Stylist -Dynamo Marketers

First, I hate getting involved in political or religious discussions no matter where it is - on or offline.  And, I get kind of annoyed when people do it, so thanks for bringing it to everyone's attenrion.

Second, this completely reminds me of South Pacific - the song "You've got to carefully taught."  The lines leading up to the song are something like, you aren't born like that...someone needs to teach it to you.  That was a very controversial song, esp in that age and it almost caused the whole show to be banned from Broadway, but the writers stuck to their guns on this which I think is great.

On a side note, thx for your comment on today's post.  Excellent ideas!  A few of them I did already before we crossed each others' paths, but most of them are fresh ideas, so thank you so much for filling the pipeline.  I'm going to see if I can do a quick flooring one later today, jusr to stick to my personal goal (even though I know I don't need to for th 30 in 30.)

Sep 21, 2010 03:14 AM #14
Rainer
42,737
Keith Sellers
Sellers Real Estate - Kalamazoo, MI
Greater Kalamazoo and Lakeshore

Bill -- your going to need my 7 step program and best selling (in my own mind) book "I'll Fix Them," a creative handbook to conflict resolution with guest tips from reknown martial artists and hitmen. 

You'd be amazed at just how easily people will become putty in your hands after a quick arm bar torques their face near a hot stove. 

Change isn't as hard as many people have thought, and we share just how to manipulate change people for their own health and your benefit!

I'll even throw in my Active Rainer discount of 75% off the sales tax.  What a deal!

Sep 21, 2010 03:21 AM #15
Ambassador
2,693,595
Liz and Bill Spear
RE/MAX Elite 513.520.5305 www.LizTour.com - Mason, OH
RE/MAX Elite Warren County OH (Cincinnati/Dayton)

Debbie, I don't mind healthy debate, up to a point.  Problem is, it often doesn't stay "healthy" for long.

Wasn't familiar with the South Pacific history (not much of a musical fan), but that stance had to be tough in those days!  We learn from our families and friends, teachers and the rest of our environment.  That can be good, or bad. 

And you're welcome!  Without going through your post inventory, just as many ideas as we could come up with to get your through the 30/30.  You're doing great!

Sep 21, 2010 03:23 AM #16
Ambassador
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Liz and Bill Spear
RE/MAX Elite 513.520.5305 www.LizTour.com - Mason, OH
RE/MAX Elite Warren County OH (Cincinnati/Dayton)

Keith, WHAT did the ARMY do to you??  Did they feed you guys "special" brownies to increase your creativity??  I've got to draw my line of tolerance somewhere, GO NAVY!!  :)

Sep 21, 2010 03:42 AM #17
Rainmaker
4,082,582
Joan Cox
House to Home, Inc. - Denver Real Estate - 720-231-6373 - Denver, CO
Denver Real Estate - Selling One Home at a Time

BLiz, I truly stay away from controversy as much as possible.   Life is too short, and really not worth the energy!   I would rather talk football or listings as well!

Sep 21, 2010 03:53 AM #18
Ambassador
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Liz and Bill Spear
RE/MAX Elite 513.520.5305 www.LizTour.com - Mason, OH
RE/MAX Elite Warren County OH (Cincinnati/Dayton)

Joan, Can relate! Most of the people we hang with, don't tend to "go there".  Every now and then I encounter a post, and although I may read, I'm unlikely to comment.  It's not what I'm here for.

Sep 21, 2010 04:06 AM #19
Rainmaker
1,267,563
Al & Peggy Cunningham, Brokers
RE/MAX West Realty Inc., Brokerage - Brampton, ON
Our Family Wants To Help Your Family!

And that is exactly why we enjoy your posts BLiz, we share your beliefs! Well spoken our friends.

Sep 21, 2010 04:20 AM #20
Ambassador
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Liz and Bill Spear
RE/MAX Elite 513.520.5305 www.LizTour.com - Mason, OH
RE/MAX Elite Warren County OH (Cincinnati/Dayton)

Al and Peggy, Is it still PC to blame it on Canada? :)  Okay....sorry...I just couldn't resist.  I didn't get my daily allotment of humor in the actual post! :)  Thanks! 

Okay, back to our regularly scheduled programming...Seriously, we appreciate your outlook and your posts!  I think most of our subscribers and subscribed to have that positive outlook in beliefs and life. 

Sep 21, 2010 04:24 AM #21
Rainmaker
1,278,977
Donna Foerster
HomeSmart Realty Group - Parker, CO
Metro Denver Real Estate Assistant

Can't we all just get along?  I'm all for being different, if we were all the same the world would be a very boring place.  I love the comment, "agree to disagree" and I've been known to say it a few thousand times.  It's what I believe!  Thanks Bill the Engineer/Realtor!

Sep 21, 2010 04:25 AM #22
Rainer
372,583
Tish Lloyd
BlueCoast Realty Corporation - Wilmington, NC
Broker - Wilmington NC and Surrounding Beaches

Bill:  I come from a long line (on my Mother's side) of opinionated, vocal Experts!  It drives me crazy!  As a youth, I lived with my Dad during the school year, then moved to my Mom's house in the summer.  Talk about 2 totally different environments, whew!  As a young, impressionable girl, I learned to be quite a "mouthpiece" for 3 months out of the year and quickly learned to keep my own counsel the other 9 months.

I watch my grandchildren take on the opinions of their parents and often wish I could convey how harmful this can be.  The very best we can do is to know that still, small, quiet voice inside each of us will serve us well, if we let it.  Our children need to be taught this lesson early-on and maybe they won't have to make life difficult for themselves.  Personal dignity -- having it, expressing it (or not) and living it; that's the key for me.

Excellent post, thank you.

Sep 21, 2010 04:33 AM #23
Ambassador
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Liz and Bill Spear
RE/MAX Elite 513.520.5305 www.LizTour.com - Mason, OH
RE/MAX Elite Warren County OH (Cincinnati/Dayton)

Donna, Agreed, it would be boring!  What would we ever do if no one pulled for the opposite team??

Tish, That must have been rough as a kid to have to make that transition.  Get grounded a few times?? 

Growing up in the South, I saw some of the racial issues growing up, and have tried hard to not let that tint today's opinions and judgments.  Not having the same background as others, there will always be things I can't understand fully (or maybe even partially). 

Heck, I can even root for West Point grads, as long as the Army-Navy football game isn't involved :)

Sep 21, 2010 05:03 AM #24
Rainmaker
601,332
Donne Knudsen
Los Angeles & Ventura Counties in CA - Simi Valley, CA
CalState Realty Services

BLiz - AMEN!!!  LOL at the way some people bristle at that word when I have used it in my comments on their posts.  Whatever!!!

While I do consider myself to be politically and socially aware, I am not so much a political and social militant to have a whole list of absolutes before I befriend someone.  I actually consider this particular trait of mine to be a characteristic of my level of tolerance for people who are not like me. 

Good grief!  Can you imagine how boring life would be if we were all alike.  UUUGGGHHH!!!

Sep 21, 2010 06:07 AM #25
Rainer
42,737
Keith Sellers
Sellers Real Estate - Kalamazoo, MI
Greater Kalamazoo and Lakeshore

See Bill, you're already losing our common ground, retreating back to your subconscious rhetoric and mindless spouting off of Navy minutia.  Great, you just ruined your blog LOL

Sep 21, 2010 06:34 AM #26
Ambassador
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Liz and Bill Spear
RE/MAX Elite 513.520.5305 www.LizTour.com - Mason, OH
RE/MAX Elite Warren County OH (Cincinnati/Dayton)

Donne, We're not here to rub it in anyone's face, but we will not go so far as to totally hide our faith.  It's integral to who we are, AND how we do business.

I struggle personally with the whole transition from Merry Christmas to Happy Holidays...I'd have no problem if someone said something to me regarding Ramadan, or Hannuakah.... It's part of who THEY are...that's okay.  I can't get onboard with the militants...too much small picture, not much seek to understand in too many cases...at least that's my perception, they might disagree :) 

 

Sep 21, 2010 06:42 AM #27
Ambassador
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Liz and Bill Spear
RE/MAX Elite 513.520.5305 www.LizTour.com - Mason, OH
RE/MAX Elite Warren County OH (Cincinnati/Dayton)

Keith, You expect me to lose four years of brainwashing indoctrination training in just 25 years?  Now that's crazy talk!  GOOOO NAVY!!!! :)

Bill of BLiz

Sep 21, 2010 06:52 AM #28
Rainer
61,533
Richard Green
U.S. Cybertek, Inc. - Houston, MO

Way to go Bill! ;) Awesome post! There are enough bad things happening in the world without people behaving like idiots towards each other and poking at emotional/social hot spots just to get a reaction. 

Having said that, I readily admit to being probably one of the most opinionated people alive. If I've heard of or seen something, I have an opinion about it. (it's a fact of life, but not necessarily a bad one.) BUT if I even think expressing that opinion might hurt another persons feelings, I keep my mouth shut. About the only time I will say something is if someone directly asks me or when someone is being picked on or belittled. The second one is because I hate bullies. ;)  

Abraham Lincoln said "If you look for the bad in mankind expecting to find it, you surely will." Maybe I'm just a young incurable optimist, but I still manage to find the good in mankind. Why? Maybe because I look for it. ;)

Sep 21, 2010 08:27 AM #29
Ambassador
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Liz and Bill Spear
RE/MAX Elite 513.520.5305 www.LizTour.com - Mason, OH
RE/MAX Elite Warren County OH (Cincinnati/Dayton)

Phly, We have choices.  We can focus on the negative... watch the news, plenty of source material, or focus on the positive.  Abe's quote is right on the money, we will reinforce our own perceptions and biases.  I tend to keep most of my personal opinions just that, personal.

Sep 21, 2010 09:51 AM #30
Ambassador
573,814
Chris Alston
Chris Alston (Keller Williams Realty, Silicon Valley, California) - Campbell, CA
Silicon Valley, California

You do make a great and valid point!  The Rush-Al comparison was a good one.  Two people from diffent ends of the spectrum, that will probably never enjoy each others company...  But someone that from the right meeting up with someone from the left to enjoy bowling without know the other's political beliefs will most likely have a great time.  Great post bill!  I won't have to use that sword on you!

Sep 21, 2010 03:10 PM #31
Rainmaker
642,556
Dawn A Fabiszak
Private Label Realty ( Denver metro area, Colorado - Aurora, CO
The Dawn of a New Real Estate Experience!

L & B ~ fabulous post!  Some subjects are just off limits/taboo with some people.  We all have different opinions and that's what makes the world go round.  Just because you have different beliefs means the world is a more interesting place.  I don't care to listen to those highly opinionated folks on TV.  I would rather do my own research and decide on my own opinion and not have it shoved down my throat.

Sep 21, 2010 05:15 PM #32
Ambassador
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Liz and Bill Spear
RE/MAX Elite 513.520.5305 www.LizTour.com - Mason, OH
RE/MAX Elite Warren County OH (Cincinnati/Dayton)

Chris, There are (you can't really call them talking heads... I'd say shouting heads) people on both ends of the spectrum making healthy livings keeping the fires stoked and the public incited.  No matter what the other side does, it is WRONG...no attempts at common ground, because it's not in their personal best interests.  Increase the polarization of the public, increase the perceived dysfunction....then it becomes real dysfunction. 

And I still have that sword if needed! :)

Dawn, Certain topics are such hot buttons that it probably impossible to have a rational discussion.  Enter at your own risk!  People are two complex to expect any one individual to truly mirror their entire belief spectrum as President or Congress...you can only hope to hit the essentials, and even that might be beyond true ability.

Sep 21, 2010 10:44 PM #33
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