As we go through life, it is very important to remain open and receptive. That is one of the ways we grow and learn. Using feedback and input allows one to make course and behavioral adjustments that refine our journey that directly affect our results. In this story, the harm done..... is caused by the one doing it.
I managed a large restaurant with about 80 people. One day, I got a call from one of the owners asking me to do them a favor. Please understand that the owners left you to make final decisions for your unit and never interfered in that. So, the asking of a favor was really that, and you could do or not do.......
He said...I have a friend who has a daughter. She needs a job for the summer. Can you fit her in for some part work? Well, I was always hiring kids who needed part time work.....my response.... No problem.
She comes in and has an uppity attitude. I took note of it. We went into the interview. She answered all my questions, but had a sharp edge to her. That would change with time and practice and.... I thought favor plus part time.... I can live with that. I hired her.
She comes to work and acts out a "snobbishness" on how her connections got her the job. No humility in play, just power. Now here is the interesting part. Her co-workers complained to me that she smelled. Not just a smell smell, but a smell that detracts from your life experience. A real intrusive smell.
POINT OF THE POST:..No one liked her because she had an attitude and when they smelled her, that did it for them.... They not only didn't want to talk with her, but didn't want to smell her. A double WHAMMY!
After many complaints, I called over one of my head trainers and asked her to deal with it. My 10 year veteran in the business came back and said, "I can't even have a conservation to let me introduce the problem let alone stand the smell". She started laughing because in this business, when you think you have heard it all, then something else pops up and you learn to laugh it off. Well this one had us in stitches..
I had to do something about this after several days. Not only were her fellow employees complaining, but the welfare of the business and the clientele is at stake. I decided I had to have a conversation with her with a female witness present.
In the back of my mind, is this favor that the owner asked of me. Then the welfare of my employees and then the business. This young girl was really pushing the envelope. She didn't know that General Managers have more authority than owners....I wanted to help her..... to reach her......
I sit her down and she is bothered by having to talk with me. I then try to correct her, nudge, guide, mentor, plead, converse and anything else I could think of to gently get to ISSUE # 1 ATTITUDE. Issue # 2...the smell will come after that. Well that is what I thought.
I couldn't budge her. She drew energy from the fact that her parents were friends of the owners and in that world, I do not count. I took as much as I could take, and then had to start addressing issues. She didn't think she had an attitude. Wouldn't even consider it. I kept thinking the smell doesn't have a chance at this point. At some point, she said to me, I DO NOT HAVE TO SIT HERE AND PUT UP WITH THIS...I AM LEAVING. I said, if you leave you...... you leave for good. She said, that's fine with me. Thank God I had a witness. As she was going, I tried to tell her to address her hygiene. She became offended and I knew, based on her attitude, I would never see her again so I blurted out...if you intend to get back into the workforce, look into your hygiene. She kept walking out and it ended.
EPILOGUE: Well of course I was the bad guy, rude, unprofessional, and treated her badly. That is the report she turned in to the parents and they turned it into the owner. The owner called me and he knew me well. All he said was...what happened? I explained the whole thing to the owner who understood and told me to drop the whole thing.......Now I have thought of this girl, her parents, and just what they believe in.......About 25 people at the restaurant wondered too......
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