7 Tips to Motivate Your Sphere of Influence to Refer to You

Real Estate Agent with Prudential New Jersey Properties

This is my first post-please be kind I am just learning

by Maya Bailey

As a business coach for real estate agents, I often hear my clients say to me, "I just can't pick up the phone and call my sphere of influence." "Why not?" I ask.

These are the responses I get:

"I don't know what to say."

"I can't ask my friends or business."

"I have no reason to call."

"I don't want to bug them."

"It's not okay to call them too often."

The 7 Tips:

Tip 1: Have a script so you know what to say

What you decide to say may vary from person to person. The way you talk to a close friend may be quite different from the way you talk to a distant acquaintance.

There is no one formula of what to say. However, it is very helpful to have something to offer when you call. One idea that many of my clients have found helpful is to call your sphere of influence and offer to be a referral source for them.

In other words, let them know that you have plenty of connections to people who could help them. For example, you know many painters, electrician's, plumbers, etc. and your sphere of influence should know that if they need any names and phone numbers they should call you and you will be happy to provide a referral source for them.

Tip 2: Think of yourself as being "the giver"

Most of us love to be the giver. We know we will be well received and people will like us. We also know that "giving" leads to more business.

Before you pick up the phone to call your sphere of influence ask yourself "what can I give to them?" One way that you could be of service to them, is to offer to be a cross referral partner.

If they have their own business, ask them how their business is doing. Ask them how you could help them at their business. Ask them what kind of referrals they would like to receive. Let them know that you will do your best to send referrals to them. At the end of the conversation, you can say something like, "when you hear of anyone who's interested in buying or selling a home, please call me with their name and number. If it's okay with them, I will call them and make sure that their real estate needs are being taken care of."

Tip 3: Send an "Item of value" each month

What kind of item of value, should you send? It used to be that sending newsletters was a hot item. However, most people have gotten too busy to read a newsletter.

The item that works the best is a colorful postcard that gives the events happening in their area. Their sphere of influence is likely to put that postcard on the refrigerator and refer to it often.

Of course, next to the list of events happening in the area is your photo, your phone number, and your tag line such as "relax and let me run the extra mile to fulfill your real estate needs."

You start to enter their stream of consciousness.

They start to associate positive ideas with you:

  • You are associated with happy events in their area.
  • You are associated with brilliant bright, happy colors in the postcard.
  • Your face smiles at them every time they go to the refrigerator.

Let me ask you, do you think they are more likely to remember you the next time they have a real estate need or a real estate question?

Tip 4: Don't be afraid to call them too often

As long as you have a good reason to call, they will be happy to hear from you. Trust your own gut instinct about how often you should call them. Many real estate gurus suggest calling people in your sphere of influence about once a month. You may choose that to do that with your "A list", the people most likely to refer to you.

Since you are sending an item of value each month, you can always ask them "did you receive the postcard?" You can follow that with, "so what event are you going to go to?"

Tip 5: Assume the positive

Simply assume that they will be happy to hear from you. Why wouldn't they be? They are receiving a wonderful colorful, informative postcard from you each month, then you are calling and offering them something, and you are conditioning them to want to hear from you.

Assume that you have something valuable to offer, your friendship and your real estate expertise, and people want to hear from you.

Tip 6: Be excited about your business

Remember, "desperation does not sell", but "excitement" does. No matter what the current condition of your business, always say something like, "I am so excited about my business. I get to meet such wonderful people and I'm really in an expansion phase of my business. If you want to help out, just send people my way to have a real estate question or issue, I will be happy to help them."

Tip 7: Use the Law of Attraction

To successfully use the Law of Attraction, you need to be clear about what you want. What do you want? Do you want your sphere of influence to send you several clients a month? If so, then set your intention, "I am now in the process of attracting several new clients from my sphere of influence each month."

Do you have any opposing beliefs that you need to clear? The Law of Attraction cannot give you what you want if you have any beliefs that would oppose your desired outcome.

For example, if you want to attract an abundance of prosperity, but you have beliefs like

  • I don't deserve to have a lot of money,
  • It's selfish to want more than I have,
  • Money is the root of all evil,
  • Money can't buy me happiness,
  • Rich people are usually not honest.

If you have any of the above beliefs, those are called "opposing beliefs." Can you see that you could be doing all the right activities with your sphere of influence, but if you had opposing beliefs like these, you would not be attracting the clients and the income you want?

To get the Law of Attraction to work for you, you need to identify these old self limiting beliefs, release them and install empowered beliefs.

Here are some examples of empowered beliefs that will help you create the income you want:

  • I do deserve an abundance of prosperity,
  • It's okay for me to be grateful for what I have and still want more,
  • Money is neutral and can be used for good or evil,
  • Money can't buy me happiness, but I can create a better life for myself and people around me by being prosperous,
  • Some people are honest and some are not. It has no relationship to whether or not they have money.

Practice repeating your empowered beliefs, frequently and train your mind to focus on what you "want", not on what you "don't want". If you find yourself dwelling on thoughts of scarcity, like "not enough money" switch your focus and ask yourself, "so what do I want?" Start to notice yourself becoming more positive and attracting more of what you want.

For a more complete explanation of the Law of Attraction and how you can use it to grow your real estate business, see my article in the Broker Agent News called "The Law of Attraction".


To recap, here are the 7 tips guaranteed to motivate your sphere of influence to refer to you:

  • Know what to say.
  • Become the giver.
  • Call frequently.
  • Offer to help them.
  • Send out an attractive item of value each month.
  • Be excited about your business.
  • Use the law of Attraction to magnetize your ideal clients coming to you.


Comments (16)

Judi Glamb
Coldwell Banker Hearthside - Hellertown, PA
Associate Broker, ABR

Great post!  When I went through "downsizing training" - ie. how to look for a new job when your facility is closing or guilt remover for the company - one of the things that really stuck with me was the power of networking.   "Do you know of anyone ..."  was one lead in I remember very well. 

In my new campaign, I'm going to use this lead in a lot and just outright "ask"! 


Sep 01, 2007 02:49 AM
/ /
/ - York, PA
That was a great post!  I use many of the same styles your coach taught you.  I am sure your networking will be a success!
Sep 01, 2007 02:55 AM
Margaret Rome Baltimore 410-530-2400
HomeRome Realty 410-530-2400 - Pikesville, MD
Sell Your Home With Margaret Rome

Laura, Congratulations on your first post. THis is a good use of bullets and I like the summary. Look forward to reading more of your posts. Please let us know if you need any help.


Sep 01, 2007 02:56 AM
Laura Jecker
Prudential New Jersey Properties - Vernon, NJ


It is great post thanks to your help. You are the best! Thank you so much!

Sep 01, 2007 02:59 AM
Gary L. Waters Broker Associate, Bucci Realty
Bucci Realty, Inc. - Melbourne, FL
Eighteen Years Experience in Brevard County
Excellent post... I can add another: "Ask to borrow money." Nothing will bring you business more than that! Just kidding.....really...gotta dime?
Sep 01, 2007 03:00 AM
Anthony Stokes-Pereira
Better Homes and Gardens Rand Realty - Nanuet, NY

Hi Laura,

I do believe in staying in contact withmy sphere of influence, they are a very important part of my business and we should remember that, welcome to active rain and congratulation on your first post.


Sep 01, 2007 03:07 AM
David Kosmecki
American Pacific Mortgage - Ramsey, MN

Great post! Very good information. You hit alot of really good points. Keeping in contact by phone is m;y downfall. I mail and email alot but find it difficult to invest the time needed to phone. Keep it up!

Dave Kosmecki - AmStar Mortgage


Sep 01, 2007 03:11 AM
BLRGUY(Beach & Luxury Realty Inc) - Saint Pete Beach, FL
Very Good Post!Alot of very helpful information!The sphere of influence is a very important part of one's business!Keep up the Good Posts!
Sep 01, 2007 03:22 AM
Laura Jecker
Prudential New Jersey Properties - Vernon, NJ

Thanks BLR Guy. I like to share good information and exchange ideas. 

Do you have anything that works great for you in your market? 

Sep 01, 2007 03:26 AM
Debbie Johnson
REMERICA United Realty - Novi, MI
Novi, MI Real Estate Professional
If only our fellow Realtors would realize the payoff of creating a marketing plan for our SOI and following through with it.  It is much easier to create a system and follow it.  Great post.
Sep 01, 2007 03:44 AM
George Toth
Excellent article.  There are times when it seems to be easier to deal with strangers than people you know. 
Sep 01, 2007 03:52 AM
Nora Adkins
Realty Executives - Tucson, AZ
Wonderful post!!  Welcom to AR.  I can't wait to read more!  (I'm originally from NJ...love it there!!)
Sep 01, 2007 03:57 AM
MarQuis Rhodes
MarQuis Real Estate Group/Boise River Properties - Boise, ID

Very good information.  As an fairly new agent this information give me a big insight to the inside work to my business.

Thank you.

Sep 01, 2007 04:00 AM
Laura Jecker
Prudential New Jersey Properties - Vernon, NJ

Thank you George, 

 I have others I will summarize with how they have helped me in the days to come. 

Sep 01, 2007 06:54 AM
Laura Jecker
Prudential New Jersey Properties - Vernon, NJ

Hi Deb,

I think it is up to us (those that have the plans) to teach our fellow realtors how to realize the profits of a marketing plan for SOI. If was that easy everyone would be doing. It takes a creative mind and a little work to start it and keep oit going.  :)

Sep 01, 2007 06:57 AM
Laura Jecker
Prudential New Jersey Properties - Vernon, NJ

Hi Nora,

 Thank you. I am glad to be here. I hope to share a lot and learn a lot.



Sep 01, 2007 06:58 AM