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"I DON'T REALLY FEEL COMFORTABLE!"...How Do You Identify "BUYERS REMORSE"?

By
Real Estate Agent with Douglas Elliman Real Estate 30HA0800896

" I don't really feel comfortable!"....How do you identify "Buyers Remorse"?REACHING A COMFORT LEVEL   Buyers don't ever say"I don't feel comfortable buying this house." or "I have a bad case of Buyers Remorse!" NO, this is something we as professionals need to identify. I have found that there are subtle signs early in the process---usually right after an offer is accepted; maybe even AFTER a contract is signed.

How you deal with this phenomenon is crucial to having a satisfied customer and resulting referrals. Giving a buyer a "Comfort Level" is not easy if you don't know everything about the area and the property.

Are you satisfied with your approach? Do you have a reputation for informing your buyers, or do you find that many of your buyers walk away from the buying process???

I have found that the most difficult thing to accomplish when working with a buyer, is to give them a level of comfort for the process of making a deal.  Usually, the first thing a buyer will do is decide to "think about it" for a day or so when they have found something they like. During this critical time of thinking it over, they get fearful and question the idea of buying a home. They may even decide not to do it at this time!...giving them too much time without talking to them or communicating with them gives them the psychological excuse to say "we have decided not to buy at this time"..even when they really want the house!

 "BUYERS REMORSE"  can and does set in, long before the deal is done. Anyone who has bought a home can relate to that feeling in the pit of the stomach--a feeling that maybe, just maybe you made a mistake! The dread that sets in if the buyer does not have all the facts can be quite disturbing.WHICH WAY DO I GO?

This has happened to me; at the very beginning of my real estate career, I was afraid to be "too pushy" with my buyers. It did not take long for me to realize that unless I pushed for an offer, it would not happen. I did it with the idea in mind that the buyer NEEDED to be guided or they would fade away into the community, ending up in another office looking for the "guidance" that they didn't get from me! 

HAVING LEARNED MY LESSON....I now have handouts to give them; I keep them in the loop and informed of all things real estate...especially the first time buyers. No one leaves my office with a feeling that they don't have all the information about a house, a neighborhood or town.

 

I take the time to give them as much good, solid and factual information as possible; I prepare a list of comps for the property, and I make sure they know everything about the property, the location and the surrounding areas:

  • I take the buyer on a drive around the area, then around the comparable neighborhoods. 
  • I give an evaluation of property values and the most recent sales for the whole community, with the homes' selling vs. asking prices.
  • The buyer may have more questions regarding schools, groceries, libraries, etc. and I give them a map to show all applicable locations including parks and walking trails, etc.
  • I make sure they have their financial work squared away so that does not keep coming up for them during the finalizing of  the deal.
  • I make sure the inspection is done as soon as possible--again to prevent problems before the contracts get signed.
  • If there are issues that the buyer is not comfortable with, we talk it over with the other agent or the owner, to see what can be done.
  • Small concessions may be agreed to if there are issues.
  • I have been known to write a "travel-log" for the area---so that the buyer knows where all the fun things and interesting things to do in the area are located....the buyers love it!

In all my years of getting deals done and getting them closed with a happy buyer and seller  I have yet to have someone back out after they have found something they like....maybe that is just luck; I like to think that it is the hard work that I do in the process to make sure there will be no surprises for anyone in the end. Finding a comfort level for a buyer is not always easy; sometimes I inform them of the dreaded  "buyers remorse" so they can deal with it if that is what comes up for them. I let them figure it out sometimes too, so they have a sense of control of the process.  I have many happy customers who tell their friends about me and as a result, I have increased my customer base exponentially.

Lori Cain
Own Tulsa - Tulsa, OK
Midtown Tulsa Real Estate Top Producer

Paula, what an excellent post. I represented a Seller last spring and our Buyer backed out at the last moment AT THE CLOSING TABLE. Her Realtor didn't know what to do and he left her there alone. Our closer, attorney, Broker and I spent 3 hours with her addressing her concerns. I always resented that her Realtor left her to fend on her own and wondered why he didn't address her concerns LONG BEFORE we got to closing. It was an unpleasant transaction that didn't need to be. Another reason Buyers need to choose their representation carefully!

Oct 30, 2010 10:14 AM
Chuck Carstensen
RE/MAX Results - Elk River, MN
Minnesota/Wisconsin Real Estate Expert

This rarely has happend to me but it happened this week. So we cancelled after inspection and we will look for something now that i know he will "be comfortable with"...sometimes they just dont know what they want until you point them in the right direction.

Oct 30, 2010 10:23 AM
Anonymous
Anonymous

Good review Paula, It is so important to have a good level of communication with your Buyer or Seller and sometimes both at the same time.  I have a sheet that I give to my Buyers and Sellers after the signing of the contract that shows the different aspects of the transaction and some possible areas of conflict or turbulence...this kind of gives a heads-up on possibilities and can be caught early by identifying problems and solutions before they happen...I also takes the "Oh, it just happens to me" out of their thoughts...this is something I learned especially in New Construction.

Oct 30, 2010 10:47 AM
#17
Laurie Mindnich
Centennial, CO

With buyers (opinion) the key is to make certain at the onset that their agenda is one that I'm looking forward to working with. They deserve that kind of representation, and when they find someone with whom the comfort level fits out of the gate, it seems to always reach a successful conclusion. If the fit isn't there, better that they locate someone with whom they mesh. Remorse explained before the house is found, when the house is found, and after the house is found helps- I've jokingly told people, "please don't call me for three days after you sign the contract, because you will be changing your mind every hour- let's talk on day four, when all of the reasons you love the house have returned, along with your sanity." It at least prepares a heads up for the anguish- knowing that such "remorse" is normal seems to make navigating the emotion easier.

Oct 30, 2010 11:00 AM
Paula Hathaway, REALTOR, LBA
Douglas Elliman Real Estate - Southampton, NY
...A Local Expert in all The Hamptons

Gary: You are so right---because it is really a saftey valve in the mind , I think that makes it SEEM like a mistake when it is not. The saftey valve opens when the body gets a big shot of adrenilin from the actual commitment or the signing of the contract. I think it is actually a very primitive reaction the the biggest purchase one ever makes.

Chris: Thank you for seeing it that way! I feel like they are really apreciative because they all have given me more business after the deal was done!

 Lori: I can't believe that the buyer backed out! I hope she changed her mind at the table??? That agent that left needs to lose his license--he was not representing anyone but himself!!! By leaving the scene, that agent does not have the benefit of learning from HIS mistake of not communicating with his buyer! He will be back out there doing it again soon---what a shame!

Oct 30, 2010 11:53 AM
Paula Hathaway, REALTOR, LBA
Douglas Elliman Real Estate - Southampton, NY
...A Local Expert in all The Hamptons

Chuck: You can say that again! The idea of creating a comfort level may seem silly but in truth, it is the most important part of the deal--if it isn't there--theres no deal! 

#17: Sorry to identify you by number but I can't seem to see who you are! :)..I like your idea of addressing all possibilities in writing--that can really make it clear to everyone involved. Also, you mention new construction: I think that is a crucial situation to have a well informed buyer and seller. Complications can happen very easily in that situation; I have one going on right now and it is a doozey! The buyer changed the house interior, entirely and it even makes me a little edgy!

Laurie: I totally agree with your explaination about remorse before, during and after a house is found! And I like the idea that you use humor too! Nothing like a little levity to make everyone comfortable!!!

Oct 30, 2010 12:11 PM
Michael Simcock
Coldwell Banker (Elk Grove, CA) - Elk Grove, CA
Elk Grove, CA Realtor 916 425-1084

Paula,

Sounds like you get them started on the right foot from the very beginning and that is so important. Getting buyers into the office for a meeting has worked very well for both sides. I get a lot of information about them and I can go over the process with them. Our market has changed so much that even if they have bought a home in the past five years, they might as well be first time buyers.

Asking for the order has let you get to their fears and concerns.

Thanks for the post.

Oct 30, 2010 12:27 PM
Maria Boghi
Doral, FL
P.A., TRC, REO - Doral Pinecrest FL Real Esta

Paula

 

Great post, it's bad buyers don't appreciate our work but happensand  then they regreat!

Oct 30, 2010 12:36 PM
Anonymous
Randy Elgin

This was a fantastic post. Concise, accurate and very informative.

Oct 30, 2010 12:52 PM
#23
Rob D. Shepherd
RETIRED - Florence, OR
RETIRED

Wow, This takes me back to my early days in this career! Lots of food for thought!

Oct 30, 2010 01:16 PM
Paula Hathaway, REALTOR, LBA
Douglas Elliman Real Estate - Southampton, NY
...A Local Expert in all The Hamptons

Michael: You are right on 2 counts: getting the offer by telling them it's their house and removing the fear as much as possible by informing them on all counts....and beleive me, I think all buyers are new buyers!!!

Maria: I don't very often lose them and as a result: No Regrets!

Randy: Glad you liked it!

 

Rob: Let's hope you don't eat the page Hee Hee! (food for thought!) :)

Oct 30, 2010 01:22 PM
Ryan Case
Pacific Servicing - Temecula, CA

Oh, how I love buyers remorse! Its never really that!

Oct 30, 2010 05:47 PM
K.C. McLaughlin
RE/MAX United - Cary, NC
Realtor, e-PRO, Homes for Sale - Cary, Raleigh NC

Paula,

 

Great post. I agree with you - I also put together a buyers book that explains the process to tem and what to expect. I didcuss these items with them as well, but my buyers appreciate having it all in one book for future access. An informed buyer is one that is more likely to make an offer because everything has been explained to them and they know that you are there for the entire process, not just until the offer is accepted.

Oct 31, 2010 12:44 AM
Paula Hathaway, REALTOR, LBA
Douglas Elliman Real Estate - Southampton, NY
...A Local Expert in all The Hamptons

Ryan: Thanks for the comment--just don't know what you mean--can you explain?

K.C.: You are so right! Explanation is not only great for the buyer---it gives youthe credibility that you need to make a real business connection for the long term and for referrals!!!

Oct 31, 2010 12:56 AM
John Lake
Shamrock Home Loans - Mashpee, MA
Sarasota and Cape Cod Mortgage Ba

Paula,

 I find that when you take time and cover your bases buyers and borrowers feel more comfortable in the process and with their decision. Great post

Oct 31, 2010 02:46 AM
Paula Hathaway, REALTOR, LBA
Douglas Elliman Real Estate - Southampton, NY
...A Local Expert in all The Hamptons

John: You are right--the time it takes to inform them, the buyer, the less chances for the indecision that I mention in the post...that is when most deals fall apart!

Erica: I am not going to say that I have nothing to do with it---I am there for support and guidance--that's it. If they need a nudge, so be it; I can do that as well--and some do need it. I did when I bought my first house. I had been looking and looking and  couldn't decide--finally my agent told me that the house I was considering had all the ingredients and then went into depth about the whole package, area etc...It was so good for me because she helped to get past my indecisiveness! I was not in real estate then but I was in sales and I would say she helped overcome my resistance.

Oct 31, 2010 04:52 AM
Peggy Hughes/pha logistix, inc.
pha logistix inc - San Francisco, CA
SF NYC LA

Great post Paula... thanks for all the wonderful information.

Nov 03, 2010 12:25 PM
Paula Hathaway, REALTOR, LBA
Douglas Elliman Real Estate - Southampton, NY
...A Local Expert in all The Hamptons

Peggy: You are more than welcome--hope you find some of these suggestions helpful...they do work for me!

Nov 03, 2010 01:44 PM
Vickie McCartney
Maverick Realty - Owensboro, KY
Broker, Real Estate Agent Owensboro KY

Hi Paula~  In all of the years I have been in Real Estate, I have not had a buyer just back out!  But, now that I have said that, I am probably going to experience it!  I tell them that is is a legally binding contract and not something to take lightly and that it is natural to experience buyers remorse but that it will pass.  Heck, I feel it every time I buy a new car!

Nov 03, 2010 04:19 PM
Paula Hathaway, REALTOR, LBA
Douglas Elliman Real Estate - Southampton, NY
...A Local Expert in all The Hamptons

Vickie: It is totally normal and the only people I have seen NOT get buyers remorse are those who have bought several houses before...even then, I have seen it! :) 

Nov 04, 2010 02:48 AM