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Shut up, stop whining, and get a life!

By
Education & Training with Keller Williams Realty

 

Sometimes, to unwind, I sit and watch TV (wink, wink) with my husband.  Many times, I pay no attention to the talking heads.  Instead, I surf the internet and read.  Tonight, I came across an excerpt from the book “Shut Up, Stop Whining, and Get a Life: A Kick-Butt Approach to a Better Life” by Larry Winget.  He is sometimes referred to as “The Bulldog of Personal Development” – and that could possibly be the understatement of the millennium. 

 

Winget is extremely direct (which I can relate to), and confrontational in his approach.  He is all about personal responsibility – “manning up” and taking the heat for you lack of action, bad choices and wrong mindsets.  Confessing it, owning it, and then moving on.

 

I have been told that I sometimes rub people the wrong way.  And over time, I have learned to be okay with that, as I personally value being respected more than being liked.

 

What I am not accepting of is the mindless sugar coating of truth and the enablement of people to remain mediocre (at best).  The most highly sought after coaches are tough, direct, and have very high expectations of their team mates, clients, and themselves.  They are in your face, on your toes, and they make you a little angry at times.  The good news is, if you are hacked off (temporarily) – then you are opened to being challenged, but only by someone you RESPECT; and not necessarily “like”.  This willingness to be challenged is what facilitates growth. 

 

As a leader or mentor, it is much easier to give in to a whining baby than to stand firm and teach the lesson that must be learned (this is also true in parenting).

No one ever gets better by being coddled.  People who baby you and tell you what you WANT to hear are not helping you – conversely, they are hindering you.  If your goal is to live your dreams and be your best in life, what you need is someone who cares enough to lovingly kick your backside! 

 

My suggestion?  If you are currently in a business relationship with someone who babies you and makes all your shortcomings okay – FIRE THEM.  Then immediately hire someone who cares enough about your success to look you square in the eye and say “shut up, stop whining, and get a life”! 

Comments(31)

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Marian Goetzinger
Pine Knoll Shores Realty 252-422-9000 - Pine Knoll Shores, NC
Crystal Coast Real Estate NC

As soon as I started reading this blog an image of the teacher who changed my life and inspired me more than any others popped into my head.  Boy, was he tough.  Sometimes I hated him, but in the end, I loved and respected him because he brought out the best in us and settled for nothing less.

Then I thought of the tough real estate mentor I was lucky enough to have sixteen years ago.  What a woman!

Nov 10, 2010 10:24 PM
K.C. McLaughlin
RE/MAX United - Cary, NC
Realtor, e-PRO, Homes for Sale - Cary, Raleigh NC

Paula,

I agree with you and your direct approach on life and parenting. I will look for the book - thanks for the info.

Nov 10, 2010 10:40 PM
Harry F. D'Elia III
WEDO Real Estate and Beyond, LLC - Phoenix, AZ
Investor , Mentor, GRI, Radio, CIPS, REOs, ABR

Wow it sounds like a great book. I agree that we do not need someone who will sugar coat items when we really need a kick in the jeans. We are in this business for a reason.

Nov 10, 2010 10:56 PM
Sally K. & David L. Hanson
EXP Realty 414-525-0563 - Brookfield, WI
WI Real Estate Agents - Luxury - Divorce

Often what you want to hear and need to hear are on opposing ends of the spectrum...and people say that they want you to "tell it like it is..." until you do...

Nov 10, 2010 11:26 PM
Sally K. & David L. Hanson
EXP Realty 414-525-0563 - Brookfield, WI
WI Real Estate Agents - Luxury - Divorce

Often what you want to hear and need to hear are on opposing ends of the spectrum...and people say that they want you to "tell it like it is..." until you do...

Nov 10, 2010 11:26 PM
Michael Setunsky
Woodbridge, VA
Your Commercial Real Estate Link to Northern VA

Paula, this sounds like a must read. Nothing worse than someone telling you what you want to hear. Thanks.

Nov 11, 2010 12:33 AM
Sara Kraemer
United Real Estate Lexington - Lexington, KY

Love this!  A coach isn't a coach if they allow you to cry and make excuses.  You can have excuses or results...but you can't have both! 

Nov 11, 2010 01:32 AM
Alan Kent
Keller Williams Realty Lake Oconee - Greensboro, GA
Lake Oconee Real Estate

Tell it like it is! Get out there, kick butt, and take names..... 

Nov 11, 2010 01:43 AM
James McGary
Agents Set Free, Inc - Irvine, CA

I hope that everyone will read this book.  I often grow frustrated with the whining that we see on Active rain.

 

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Nov 11, 2010 01:48 AM
Chris Olsen
Olsen Ziegler Realty - Cleveland, OH
Broker Owner Cleveland Ohio Real Estate

I believe in earning a client's respect, one conversation/interaction at a time.  When a client sees tenacity, professional competencies, and yes, empathy, as buying/selling a home is a tangled web of many competing priorities, the most successful (as measured by their clients' testimonials, future business and referrals) agents know that many things go into creating successful client relationships.  Setting the bar high, surrounding yourself with people better than you, and never being complacent are great traits and behaviors.

Nov 11, 2010 03:34 AM
Bruce Brockmeier
Internet Marketing Consultant to REALTORS® - Yorba Linda, CA
Coached By Crouch

He is all about personal responsibility - "manning up" and taking the heat for you lack of action, bad choices and wrong mindsets.  Confessing it, owning it, and then moving on.

Accepting personal responsibility could help many people in our country. 

Thanks for mentioning!  I will visit the book store tonight.

Nov 11, 2010 04:01 AM
Robert Amato
Bob Amato of Empire Home Mortgage Inc - East Meadow, NY

Your story makes me think of the Geico commercial where an ex drill instructor is a therapist. He yells at the man sitting on his couch to stop being a mamby pamby and throws a box of tissues at him to wipe his tears away.

Nov 11, 2010 04:20 AM
Ed Prestridge
The Prestridge Group - Roseville, MI
Mortg Protection Specialist

I Love it! Jack Canfields book "The Success Principles" says the same thing. Chapter 1 of his book and the biggest chapter is all about taking personal responsibility, 100% responsibility for your actions and where you are in life. Somewhere sometime you have make decisions or taken some action that set you on the path to where you are right now, and the sooner you realize that and own up to it, the sooner you can start making better decisions and doing the right things to get you where you want to be!

 

Right on!

Nov 11, 2010 04:33 AM
R. Michael Scott
Weichert Realtors-Synergy - Boston, MA

My broker reminded me to grow up when it comes to fellow agents who are so direct that it is disruptive to the office moral.  Well, there are forward and toxic sales agents working with the forward and engaging sales agents which are two different expressions.  It is not always easy re-learning to "man up" or to navigate the world of sales but with the right tools, and this post is one of them, direction is as important as execution all of the time.

Nov 11, 2010 05:32 AM
John Novak
Keller Williams Realty The Marketplace - Las Vegas, NV
Henderson, Las Vegas and Summerlin Real Estate

"This willingness to be challenged is what facilitates growth." That's a great concept to carry into 2011. It's time to break out of the comfort zone.

Nov 11, 2010 05:39 AM
Lorraine or Loretta Kratz
Crescent Moon Realty, Inc. & Land N Sea Auctions. - San Marcos, CA
Certified Negotiation Consultants

I agree with several of the comments that have been made. I have several of his books on CD's & when I need that kick in my performance I often listen to his CD's. Truth is that no ones wants to hear you whine, nor do they care.

Nov 11, 2010 07:12 AM
Jen Wetzel
RE/MAX Executive - Fort Mill, SC
NC/SC Realtor-With Jen, You Win!

Great article....it is so easy to be a whiner, but it takes a successful person to know not to use it in business or their personal lives!!

Nov 11, 2010 07:16 AM
Bryan Robertson
Los Altos, CA

Whining is a by-product of social darwinism.  The people who can't handle the pressure or competition are the ones who complain the most.  They're also the most likely to ultimately get pushed out of the market.

Nov 11, 2010 08:37 AM
Brian Bean
The Dream Big Team at Better Homes and Gardens Real Estate Champions - Riverside, CA
Homeowner Advocate, Dream Big Team, S.Calif

I agree. And I know a few clients who need to take the same advice. Responsibility can cast a sobering light.

Nov 11, 2010 08:42 AM
Mike Kang
American Family Insurance - Ryan Carlson Agency - Seattle, WA

Great post! I love reading posts like this because it is so true.

Nov 11, 2010 10:30 AM