WHY WOMEN SHOULDN'T TAKE MEN SHOPPING:
A friend of mine, who after retiring, has a wife who insisted that he accompany her on her trips to
Target.
Unfortunately, like most men, he found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out.
Equally unfortunate, his wife is like most women and she loves to browse.
Yesterday his wife received the following letter from the local Target:
Dear Mrs. Samuel,
Over the past six months, your husband has caused quite a commotion in
our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban
both of you from the store. Our complaints's against your husband, Mr.
Samuel, are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance
cameras.
1. June 15:
Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in other people's carts
when they weren't looking.
2. July 2:
Set all the alarm clocks in House wares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
3. July 19:
Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, 'Code 3 in
House wares. Get on it right away'. This caused the employee to leave
her assigned station and receive a reprimand from her Supervisor that in
turn resulted with a union grievance, causing management to lose time
and costing the company money.
4. August 4:
Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&Ms on layaway.
5. August 14:
Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
6. August 15:
Set up a tent in the camping department and told the children shoppers
he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the
bedding department to which twenty children obliged.
7. August 23:
When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and screamed,
'Why can't you people just leave me alone?' EMTs were called.
8. September 4:
Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he
picked his nose.
9. September 10:
While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the clerk where
the antidepressants were...
10. October 3:
Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the 'Mission
Impossible' theme.
11. October 6:
In the auto department, he practiced his 'Madonna look' by using
different sizes of funnels.
12. October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through,
yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'
13. October 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he
assumed a fetal position and screamed 'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!'
And last, but not least:
14. October 23:
Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, and then yelled
very loudly, 'Hey!
there's no toilet paper in here.' One of the clerks passed out.
Hope you enjoyed the Monday morning chuckle! Now get off the computer and go sell a house!
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