5 Easy Ways To Avoid Prison Time

By
Real Estate Agent with Berkshire Hathaway HomeServices - C. Dan Joyner 21498

What with all the seemingly intelligent people going to prison these days -- educated people in the business world -- I thought perhaps they could use a small refresher course on what NOT to do in life in order to stay out of prison...a beacon in the night toward which to head should they feel misguided.

Now I have kept the items generic rather than spelling them out completely for each individual. For example, if I were talking to Bernie Madoff, rather than saying, "You must not run a false investment racket or Ponzi scheme with others' money," I would say (as I did), " Do not steal or illegally manipulate monies from stores, people, companies, banks, etc." This way, I don't insult anyone's intelligence, and they have to figure out where they fit in on the list themselves. Stroke the ego a little, you know. Ha. 

There are five quick and easy ways to avoid criminal prosecution and subsequent prison time. I am going to touch on them briefly here; if you would like a more in-depth study on any of these topics, you may already be in over your head, but consult your attorney anyway!

1)    Do not kill or maim or otherwise harm anyone or anything

2)    Do not set things on fire unless that is your job – your REAL job

3)    Do not use a firearm to make people do anything…ANYTHING (except leave your house which they were robbing)

4)    Do not steal or illegally manipulate monies (from stores, people, companies,  banks, etc.)

5)     Do not touch any part of your body to any part of anyone else’s body unless they are consenting adults, and even then, when they say “stop,” “STOP.” And do not hold others against their will or cause them to do things against their will.

There you go…five easy steps. Now this is not an exhaustive list of possibilities, but if you go by the list, you will stay out of prison. And if you found a way around the list to some behavior(s) which would land you in prison, then all I can say is…maybe a few months in the big house could be a good thing…little time away from all the confusion and anxiety? I don’t know…

Of course, the argument could be made that I have proffered a sub-par “list of 5…”

Nah.

GOOD LUCK!!!

 

 

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If you are looking to buy or sell a home in the  Anderson or Greenville SC real estate areas, visit our website at www.SheilaNewtonTeam.com for tons of great information.

 

   
Sheila Newton   
Sheila Newton Team 
Berkshire Hathaway HomeServices -
C. Dan Joyner, Realtors
864-225-1205 (direct)
864-940-6377 (mobile)

www.SheilaNewtonTeam.com    


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Ambassador
1,583,611
Norma Toering Broker for Palos Verdes and Beach Cities
Charlemagne International Properties - Rancho Palos Verdes, CA
Palos Verdes Luxury Homes in L.A.

Certainly not the usual run of the mill title--grabbed my attention and so far so good--no prison time on my record. : )

Nov 22, 2010 01:11 PM #1
Rainmaker
484,123
Cindy Westfall
Premiere Property Group,LLC Portland Metro & Suburbs Oregon - Tualatin, OR
ABR,GRI Your Tualatin & Portland Metro Real Estate

Whew..I was able to check NO on all of those things. Something to be thankful for!

Nov 22, 2010 01:19 PM #2
Rainer
1,756,848
Conrad Allen
Re/Max Professional Associates - Webster, MA
Webster, Ma, Realtor

Wow, picky, picky.  All that and being a real estate agent:)  Good luck.

Nov 22, 2010 01:30 PM #3
Rainmaker
820,739
Sheila Newton Team Anderson & Greenville SC
Berkshire Hathaway HomeServices - C. Dan Joyner - Anderson, SC
Selling the Upstate since 1989

HaHa! Hope you all enjoyed the departure from the "run-of-the-mill" blog article! Thanks for being good sports! Happy Holidays!    : )

Nov 22, 2010 01:44 PM #4
Rainmaker
207,503
Erby Crofutt
B4 U Close Home Inspections&Radon Testing (www.b4uclose.com) - Lexington, KY
The Central Kentucky Home Inspector, Lexington KY

It's amazing how many people find their way around the list to get to the big house.

2.3 million by some estimates.

 

-

 

Nov 23, 2010 01:17 AM #5
Ambassador
3,667,895
Patricia Kennedy
RLAH Real Estate - Washington, DC
Home in the Capital

OK, there is a new exception to Number 5, at least if you are an employee of the airport security guys. 

Nov 23, 2010 01:14 PM #6
Rainmaker
820,739
Sheila Newton Team Anderson & Greenville SC
Berkshire Hathaway HomeServices - C. Dan Joyner - Anderson, SC
Selling the Upstate since 1989

Erby - It IS amazing... The rules seem so easy!!! :)

 

Patricia - HAHAHAHAHA... that is funny!!

Nov 23, 2010 03:04 PM #7
Rainer
321,482
Jack Mossman - The Nines Team at Keller Williams in Lodi
The Nines Team at Keller Williams in Lodi - Lodi, CA
The Nines Team in Lodi

Sheila ... Pat's point while amusing, still bears some consideration as a "collective" invasion!  This is a great list ... for starters!  Maybe we should come up with another list  - 5 things you can do and still not go to jail! (LOL)

Nov 28, 2010 08:36 AM #8
Rainmaker
642,506
Dawn A Fabiszak
Private Label Realty ( Denver metro area, Colorado - Aurora, CO
The Dawn of a New Real Estate Experience!

Sheila ~ cute post.  It's amazing how some folks jsut don't get it!

Nov 28, 2010 08:53 AM #9
Ambassador
2,878,121
Margaret Rome, Baltimore Maryland
HomeRome Realty 410-530-2400 - Pikesville, MD
Sell Your Home With Margaret Rome

Sheila, Are there a few exceptions, like 1,2 and 3, when working with short sales, kindness impaired people or toxic clients?

Thanks to Patricia for sending me here.

Margaret

Nov 28, 2010 11:39 AM #10
Rainmaker
31,949
Sam Fischer
Coeur d'Alene, ID

This is just good advice no matter how you slice it!

Nov 29, 2010 01:26 AM #11
Rainmaker
752,199
Thom Abbott
MyMidtownMojo.com |770.713.1505 | Intown Atlanta GA Condo Living - Atlanta, GA
Midtown Atlanta GA Condos For Sale

Ah....you have a new follower!

Going to make RainCamp next week here in ATL? Hope so...and if you do, please make sure you look me up!

Nov 29, 2010 05:48 AM #12
Rainer
69,054
Robert Courtney
Lihue, HI
Century 21 All Islands, RA, CDPE, MCRE, CIAS

Whew!!  Passed.  Good reminder of possible outcomes!!

Nov 29, 2010 09:53 AM #13
Rainer
255,323
Kathleen Frawley
Keller Williams 916 730-4404 Elk Grove, Wilton, Folsom, Sacramento - Wilton, CA
South County Sacramento, 916 730 4404

Whew! good to know.  but #2, I may be in trouble...Define real.

Nov 29, 2010 02:04 PM #14
Rainmaker
1,475,128
Marte Cliff
Marte Cliff Copywriting - Priest River, ID
Your real estate writer

Hmmm... looks to me like most members of Congress need to do time under #4.

Nov 29, 2010 06:18 PM #15
Rainmaker
820,739
Sheila Newton Team Anderson & Greenville SC
Berkshire Hathaway HomeServices - C. Dan Joyner - Anderson, SC
Selling the Upstate since 1989

Jack - I nominate you to start the new list of 5 things you can do and still not go to jail lol

Dawn - Sure is.. Thanks for reading :)

Margaret - hahaha... For sure, there are always exceptions :)

Sam - indeed..

Thomas - I was at the raincamp in Charlotte.. can't make the one in Atlanta :(.. Were you in Charlotte? sorry we didn't know each other sooner!!

Bob - Glad to know you are ok!

Kathleen - I'm afraid that is if it is your job you get PAID for.. lol

Marte - that is for sure!!

Nov 30, 2010 09:46 AM #16
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