Disarmament Made Easy

By
Real Estate Sales Representative with RE/MAX ROYAL (JORDAN) INC. / Tanya Nouwens Inc. www.readysetsold.ca E8107

I was out walking my dog yesterday, and since it was 4 pm on November 28 in Canada, it was getting dark already.

A young man was approaching me on the path. He had a dark hood over his head and long dark hair.  His eyes were focused on the ground.  He looked if not menacing then, at the very least, brooding.

As I often do in these situations - unless my spidey-sense says otherwise - I decided to disarm him.  My weapon of choice?  A word and a smile.

Hands holding together to nurture young plant.As my dog Maggie approached him, I said, with a huge smile, "It's OK. She's very friendly."

And the brooding dark man looked up, right into my eyes, broke into a huge smile, and said, "Oh thanks. It's OK though. I'm not afraid." 

And in that instant, he went from a dark brooding man to the friendly teenager he actually was.  We both continued on our way, each of us with a smile.

A smile and a word. They're powerful. They help us connect with each other. They acknowledge each other's presence and importance in the world.  They show that we care, on a human level.

Try it next time you're at the grocery store with a grumpy cashier. Find something to say directly to her, whether it's about the loveliness of the raspberries this week, or how her hairstyle suits her so well or how she must go bonkers after hearing Christmas music 8 hours a day. And flash your big toothy grin. She'll be disarmed in a second because you acknowledged her as a fellow human being, one with feelings.  She'll smile, and her entire demeanour will change.

It's disarmament made easy. Go ahead and try it. I dare you. [Smiles.]

 

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Professional home staging and professional photography: two critical factors to making sure your home looks its best, both in person and on the Internet, and neither of them cost you a penny when you list with me.

 

Put your best house forward. TM

Tanya Nouwens

Tanya Nouwens Inc., Montreal Real Estate Broker and Canadian Staging Professional (TM)  www.readysetsold.ca 

RE/MAX ROYAL (JORDAN) INC., www.remax-quebec.om

C. 514-919-8468    tanya@readysetsold.ca


This blog is written with my opinions. My opinions are presented with accuracy but not guarantees. Copyright Tanya Nouwens - 2015. If you want to reprint parts of this, just email me for my permission at tanya@readysetsold.ca.

 

Comments (17)

Gina Tufano
Ask Gina & Company with Pearson Smith Realty - Sterling, VA
Ask Gina & Company, Northern Virginia Real Estate

Great point - kill them with kindness is such a powerful tool!

Nov 29, 2010 01:08 AM
Bob Jakowinicz
National Realty Centers Livonia--Bob Jakowinicz - Livonia, MI
Michigan Real Estate Agent-- MI Real Adventures

So true, it is so simple but works so well.

Nov 29, 2010 01:15 AM
Tanya Nouwens
RE/MAX ROYAL (JORDAN) INC. / Tanya Nouwens Inc. www.readysetsold.ca - Montreal West Island, QC
Montreal Real Estate Broker & Stager

That it is, Gina. Thanks for stopping by.

Nov 29, 2010 01:15 AM
Malcolm Johnston
Century 21 Lanthorn Real Estate LTD., Trenton, Ontario - Trenton, ON
Trenton Real Estate

A friendly word to people will always go a long way to establishing a connection with people Tanya. It certainly works a lot better than a pinch on the bum.

Nov 29, 2010 01:44 AM
Tanya Nouwens
RE/MAX ROYAL (JORDAN) INC. / Tanya Nouwens Inc. www.readysetsold.ca - Montreal West Island, QC
Montreal Real Estate Broker & Stager

Agreed, Robert. Simple usually does work best, no?

Malcolm, at least in most cases :)

Nov 29, 2010 01:51 AM
Bob "RealMan" Timm
Ward County Notary Services - Minot, ND
Owner of Ward Co. Notary Services, retired Realtor

Tanya, I've also found that if you have a bounce in your step with an air of confidence about you people are more likely to smile and say hello.

Nov 29, 2010 02:09 AM
Susan Mangigian
RE/MAX Preferred, West Chester, PA, RS152252A - West Chester, PA
Chester & Delaware County Homes, Delaware and Ches

I love to do this and somehow I knew you would be the same way!  I hope your birthday was wonderful!  I had a giggle with my kids when I commented that I had a friend who's birthday fell on Thanksgiving, but that you were Canadian so I figured you were only celebrating your birthday.  Thisgot a  "duh"! from both boys.  xxoo

Nov 29, 2010 02:17 AM
Tanya Nouwens
RE/MAX ROYAL (JORDAN) INC. / Tanya Nouwens Inc. www.readysetsold.ca - Montreal West Island, QC
Montreal Real Estate Broker & Stager

That's true, Bob.

Too funny, Susan.  Yes, we only celebrated my birthday, but I thought of all my American friends and their stuffing :)

Nov 29, 2010 02:34 AM
Michelle Francis
Tim Francis Realty LLC - Atlanta, GA
Realtor, Buckhead Atlanta Homes for Sale & Lease

Tanya, 

I do that all the time, just didn't give it a word.  (Well, my kids call it talking too much or talking to EVERYONE!)  I like to make people's day a bit better if I can.  Disarmament is so easy and costs you nothing!

All the best, Michelle

Nov 29, 2010 06:42 AM
Tanya Nouwens
RE/MAX ROYAL (JORDAN) INC. / Tanya Nouwens Inc. www.readysetsold.ca - Montreal West Island, QC
Montreal Real Estate Broker & Stager

"I like to make people's day a bit better if I can."  Love it, Michelle!

So true, John.

Nov 29, 2010 09:25 AM
Jane Peters
Home Jane Realty - Los Angeles, CA
Los Angeles real estate concierge services

That's a great exercise, Tanya.  I shall have to try it sometime.

Nov 29, 2010 05:04 PM
Ty Lacroix
Envelope Real Estate Brokerage Inc - London, ON

Tanya, you receive what you give. Nice post.

Ty

Nov 30, 2010 10:56 AM
Anonymous
ross therrien

The dog is always an ice breaker. The smile went from external to internal, very cool.

The teenage could have been one of my cousins kids.

Dec 02, 2010 01:00 AM
#15
Anonymous
ross therrien

The dog is always an ice breaker. The smile went from external to internal, very cool.

The teenage could have been one of my cousins kids.

Dec 02, 2010 01:00 AM
#16
Mirela Monte
Buyers' Choice Realty - North Myrtle Beach, SC
Myrtle Beach Real Estate

Tanya:  This is so true!  Genuine communication with another human being not only nurtures and protects, but it genuinely illuminates our paths. 

This is now featured on The Optimist Group.

 

Dec 04, 2010 08:41 AM
Tanya Nouwens
RE/MAX ROYAL (JORDAN) INC. / Tanya Nouwens Inc. www.readysetsold.ca - Montreal West Island, QC
Montreal Real Estate Broker & Stager

Jane, let me know how it goes.

Valerie, I did!  Of course, I didn't go out to walk my dog until it started raining though...

Ty, that you do.

Ross, that teenager could have been anyone's kid, cousin, nephew, brother.  That's part of the point, I guess.

Mirela, I love a woman who uses "nurtures and protects" in the same sentence :)  And thank you, always.

Dec 04, 2010 09:38 AM