Worst House On The Block!

Worst House On The Block!

What impression is your house giving to prospective buyers? Is it welcoming, clean and well-kept? Or has it been dubbed the "Halloween haunted house" by the neighborhood kids?!

Here are some surefire ways to keep buyers walkin' and achieve WORST HOUSE ON THE BLOCK status....

1) Cook some fish and leave it burning on the stove. Odors are a HUGE turnoff to prospective home buyers so add some onions while you're at it.

2) Unleash the Hounds from Hell!Make sure that snaggle-toothed, pitbull mix who loves hanging from that old tire in the yard is hungry and ready to greet all visitors.

3) Don't flush. 'Nuff said.

4) Light some candles and throw in a lantern or two.Let buyers know that you're "old timey" and don't turn on any lights. It's those surprise ottomans they'll trip over that will get your hardwood floors noticed.

5) Love reading the newspaper but hate having to hold it and being bothered by turning the pages? Just wallpaper your walls and windows with it and sit back and enjoy today's news, or yesterday's or last year's. Hint: Also doubles as curtains!

6) Don't step on Bob! Those creepy-crawlies are nuisances to other's but they're you're friends and they clean up the crumbs you've thoughtfully left on the "carpet" for them.

7) Stick around. Grab that lawn chair and a cooler of your favorite suds and sit back for the Open House parade. Nothing makes folks more comfortable than the owner following them around and telling them stories about how that hole in the ceiling came to be after a wild night of paddle ball.

8) YOUR lawn is also YOUR storage area. Why put your mower away? or your rakes? Leave them where you need them. Doesn't the rust strengthen the metal? Thought I read that somewhere. Plus, when you step on one, that's an easy reminder to pile up those leaves for a good old fashion leaf burning in the front yard.

Congratulations! By following the above steps you've just achieved WORST HOUSE ON THE BLOCK! I hope you like living here because it's going to be home-sweet-home for a VERY VERY VERY long time.