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You Don't Agree With Me???? You Yellow Bellied, Booger Nosed, Maggot Infested Piece of Cow Poo!!

By
Real Estate Agent with Keller Williams Realty 01845411

If you can't tell by the title of my blog, this blog is about name calling. That is something I have seen even here on Activerain quite a bit lately, and it happens when someone expresses a view point that they don't agree with..I have seen anything from jerk, bigot, douche bag, to even Mr. Grinch, and many others. I know it's never good when someone posts a controversial blog that you don't agree with, but it doesn't make it any better when you start regressing back to your childhood and pulling out any offensive name to call that person or even at times go on an all out blogging smear campaign about that person because leaving mean comments on their blogs isn't giving you enough satisfaction. 

How can we on activerain learn how to play nice with others, especially when someone writes something or comments in such a way you don't agree with???

First thing we can do is to remember that we are all adults here on Activerain...If someone writes something or shares a viewpoint that you don't exactly agree with, instead of getting all bent out of shape, the best thing to do, in a civil and calm manner, is ask questions. Find out why they feel the way they feel, and if you're the one that happens to be in the hot seat, don't get mad when people start asking you questions about you're viewpoint, odds are people are just trying to get a better understanding on why you feel that way. Remember you are not going to change a person's viewpoint by calling them names, by asking questions instead of throwing daggers you are most likely going to get down to the heart of their reasoning and from there have a civilized debate, they might change their viewpoint they might not, but it's a win win whenever understanding of a person's feelings are gained and no names are being called in the process.

Always remember everyone is different. Not everyone is always going to have the same views as you, everyone is going to have a different opinion, and hopefully keep in mind that we are adults and express those opinions with tact. I personally am thankful for the variety, I know people are not always agree with me, in fact if they did, it would be very boring, there would be no intrigue what so ever! Be thankful that we all have the freedom to express those opinions and viewpoints, how much more would it suck if we had to keep our opinions to ourselves? And finally..It's always a good rule of thumb however, when trying to incorporate TACT into your blog posts and comments, IF YOU CAN'T SAY ANYTHING NICE DON'T SAY ANYTHING AT ALL!

I know I said it several times in this blog but I will say it again.. Remember we are all adults here, most issues can calmly be worked out by asking the right questions, so if you don't understand a person's view, ask questions. Try not to only play nice in the rain, but in your day to day lives and with everyone you meet. We are professionals and professionals don't resort to name calling. Always remember name calling is still known as Bullying... Do you want to be known as a cyberbully?

Posted by

Stacey Smith
Coldwell Banker-Residential Properties
949-350-8922
BRE. License #01845411


 If you are looking to buy a home or sell your current home in Orange County, Ca. please allow me to assist you. I work throughout most of Orange County but my area of expertise happens to be south Orange County and the Coastal cities. Locations I service include: Dana Point, Capistrano Beach, San Juan Capistrano, San Clemente, Laguna Beach, Newport Beach, Huntington Beach, Crystal Cove, Corona Del Mar, Laguna Niguel, Aliso Viejo, Mission Viejo, and Costa Mesa. I service all areas through out Orange County so please call me today and allow me to assist you! 

              

 

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Comments(152)

Stacey Smith
Keller Williams Realty - Aliso Viejo, CA
Your Orange County Beach Cities Realtor

Nancy-I agree. For the most part Activerain is a very civil community.. But like most families, there are always a few black sheep that can ruin the fun.

Dec 17, 2010 09:05 AM
Stacey Smith
Keller Williams Realty - Aliso Viejo, CA
Your Orange County Beach Cities Realtor

William-You could have easily said your idiot to that person and that could have been that but you did really well of keeping your cool and emailing them the facts, that probably made a bigger impression on that person and giving them some enlightenment. Thanks for stopping by.

Dec 17, 2010 09:09 AM
Woody Edwards
First Choice Realty, Inc - Chesterfield, VA
A Realtor® Who Answers His Phone!

As somebody told me growing up........."If you can't say something nice about someone, then just SHUT-UP!!!"

Dec 17, 2010 09:17 AM
Kate Elim
Dockside Realty - Spotsylvania, VA
Realtor 540-226-1964, Selling Homes & Land a

Hi Stacey...Fortunately there are only a few, a very few that seem to delight in name calling and being verbally abusive here.  I learned early on who some were and have kept clear of them since.  There's no need for that here or anywhere for that matter.

Kate

Dec 17, 2010 09:51 AM
RhondaHeaslip NanaimoRealEstate
RE/MAX of Nanaimo - Nanaimo, BC

The best way to shut someones ears down and have them tune you out is by being mean. Do you want to be not only listened to but also heard? If the answer is yes, then be nice :)

Dec 17, 2010 10:05 AM
Joy Carter & Jeff Booker Brother and Sister Team
Keller Williams Parkland/Coral Springs Realty-GreatFloridaHomes Team - Coral Springs, FL
Trust Your Family's Move To Our Expertise!

Great Post! I am not personally guilty of name calling here, but I have been guilty of being mean.

Now I put EVERYTHING in DRAFT and check it the next day!  It usually gets tossed. Joy

Dec 17, 2010 10:17 AM
Tom Dennesen
Beverly, MA

"IF YOU CAN'T SAY ANYTHING NICE DON'T SAY ANYTHING AT ALL!" - "Nice" doesn't necessarily mean "agree" or "sugar coat". The challenge is being straight to the point (time efficient) while being respectful... and continually developing trust. 

Communication skills are, of course, important in every industry and community. Now multiply that in a setting where people's homes and (usually) life's savings are at stake... and here we are!

Thanks, Stacey.

Dec 17, 2010 11:14 AM
Bryant Tutas
Tutas Towne Realty, Inc and Garden Views Realty, LLC - Winter Garden, FL
Selling Florida one home at a time

Well this is my favorite blog title yet!! I've been blogging for almost 5 years and have been called many names by many different people. I usually just leave the comments for others to see. I figure the name calling is a reflection on them not me.

I LOVE a heated debate and I'm very good at it. The number one rule though is that as soon as someone takes it personal they lose the debate. So......sometimes, if you push the right buttons.....you can persuade them to cross the line.

I'd be happy to link you back to some real doozies that have occured on my blog.

Dec 17, 2010 11:22 AM
Mel Ahrens, MBA, Kelly Right Real Estate
Kelly Right Real Estate - Hood River, OR
Customized Choices for your Real Estate Needs

Hey Stacey,

On your #94 comment, a friend in grad school was a OU grad - also had a classmate wo was from Texas.  Longhorn classmate always asked if anyone knew why it was so windy in Texas.  Response was always because Oklahoma sucks. Part of the family is from Nebraska so we do tend to follow the Texas opinion (and hopefully not offending anyone in OK).  :) 

Mel

Dec 17, 2010 12:27 PM
Thomas McCombs
Century 21 HomeStar - Akron, OH

Aren't all noses booger noses? Where else would one find a booger?

But I don't remember seeing maggots in cow poo. Maybe in road kill though.

I am all for colorful descriptive prose. Although I myself have not seen this in the AR posts and comments I'm sure it exists somewhere. When I see it in other places I take notes on the good ones. You never know when they might come in handy.

In most cases I have found that name calling happens when logic is not available. We can not just let our own opinions be trampled on without protest now, can we?

Dec 17, 2010 12:42 PM
Gene Mundt, IL/WI Mortgage Originator - FHA/VA/Conv/Jumbo/Portfolio/Refi
NMLS #216987, IL Lic. 031.0006220, WI Licensed. APMC NMLS #175656 - New Lenox, IL
708.921.6331 - 40+ yrs experience

Wow Stacey ... I sure hope I didn't give you the impression that I thought the bad manners and venting was okay!  Not my intention.  Don't agree with it at all.  Wasn't offering excuses ... just possible explanations as to why we're seeing it more often.  Been at my fair share and more of the receiving end of the venting and don't like it or appreciate it.  Explanations of why it may be happening are not excuses.

Gene

Dec 17, 2010 03:48 PM
Richard Recuset
RECUSET REALTY - Doral, FL
Doral Real Estate Specialist

There are "pinheads" (A take from Bill O'Reilly, "The no spin zone") everywhere. But your point is well taken.

Dec 18, 2010 02:58 AM
Robert Courtney
Lihue, HI
Century 21 All Islands, RA, CDPE, MCRE, CIAS

What we say in word or print is a hint of our legacy.  I have been taken wrong in somethings I have said (or written), if challenged with some thought I respond.  If someone wants to press their ego, I use one of my favorite words, " Next".

Dec 19, 2010 04:02 AM
Ric Mills
Keller Williams Southern Az - Tucson, AZ
Integrity, Honesty, and Vast Real Estate Knowledge

Great post.  Let's all remember to be adults and professional in the coming New Year.  Name calling, especially, on a blog is really childish and TOTALY unprofessional.  Is that how you really want to perceived????????????

Dec 19, 2010 04:57 AM
Cynthia Larsen
Cotati, CA
Independent Broker In Sonoma County, CA

Spot on ... sometimes I feel like I'm back in Junior High. And I didn't care for Junior High for this reason.

Dec 20, 2010 05:51 AM
Karen Feltman
Cedar Rapids/Iowa City, IA KW Legacy Group - Cedar Rapids, IA
Relocation Specialist in Cedar Rapids, Iowa

There is just no reason to be mean.  Wait, isn't there a song like that out right now?  Taylor Swift  Why do you have to be so Mean?  I think that some people just don't like to be challenged and when backed into a corner they attack.  Some people just think they know it all.  Either way, there is never an excuse to be mean or to call someone names.  Debate the subject not the character of the person that is writing it!  Great post.

Dec 21, 2010 09:42 AM
Sandy McAlpine
RE/MAX EXECUTIVE - Cornelius, NC
Search Lake Norman Homes For Sale - Lake Norman NC

I couldn't agree more that people should be tactful in their comments and think about what they are trying to get across (meaning) by typing them

Dec 21, 2010 10:29 AM
Diane M. Phillips Realtor 443-286-4365
Frankly Real Estate Inc. - Manchester, MD
Specializing in Carroll Co., MD

Stacey ~ and we wonder what’s wrong with the kids, here your sign, they learn what they see “adults” doing. It’s just not acceptable; if you don’t like someone don’t interact with them. Name calling is so unnecessary and hurtful. Bullying is one of my top 10 nonnegotiable items list.

I’m glad, for whatever reason, I have missed the mudslinging.

Dec 21, 2010 11:42 AM
Ty Lacroix
Envelope Real Estate Brokerage Inc - London, ON

All name callers have to do is look in the mirror, how you act and speak are a reflection of yourself.

Ty

Dec 26, 2010 04:25 AM
Margaret C. Taylor
Century 21 New Millennium MD - Mechanicsville, MD
St Marys/Calvert/Charles MD Real Estate Agent

A gentle reminder to "play nice" here on ActiveRain.  A worthwhile post, thank you.

Dec 26, 2010 02:25 PM