I do not have good luck with dogs. Yesterday I dropped a radon test off at a house in anticipation of an inspection tomorrow. That way I can have the results on site at the same time as the inspection report.
Arriving, two dogs were behind a gate but very interested in my arrival.
They were both happy and wanted my attention.
I put my hand beside the gate and they both licked me, tails wagging.
The lady said, "Go ahead and pet them. They have never bitten anybody."
And, like a dope, I did.
One came at me like a missile, not only biting but ripping, contorting and twisting its whole body as it latched onto my hand. Then it ran away!
The lady very apologetically dressed it saying, "She's never bitten anybody!"
I say I'm a dope because nobody has been bitten by dogs who "have never bitten anybody" more than I. If I had a dollar, well, you know the rest. If you know a dog that needs to pop its "never bitten anybody" cherry, send him to me. I can take care of that for you. You think I'm kidding?! I will bet I have been bitten over 100 times. And yet I still believe people who say it's alright to pet their dogs!
That pretty much defines the word DOPE.
This is a photo of my hand 5 minutes later, when I got into the car. It got worse. My hand swelled a lot!
I'm really feeling faint now... that's probably shock.
Uh, oh, I think I have whiplash.