Choose Yer Chews!

By
Home Inspector with Jay Markanich Real Estate Inspections, LLC 3380-000723

Do you go into people's homes?  Is it a part of your job?  Or are you a social butterfly and flit from home to home?

Are you forever worrying that a dog might be inside, and that you might be bitten?

Well, that worry is now a thing of the past!

Your new mantra can now be NEVER AGAIN!  I am NOT dog meat!

Hi, Billy Jays here!

This is for all of you who have ever heard the pitiful phrase,

"OH, MY.  SHE'S NEVER BITTEN ANYBODY!"

And that is AFTER you are the one who popped the biter's bite cherry!

 

Don't let this happen to you!

Ever again!

What you need is a bagful of my new Choose Yer Chews!

Yes, with Choose Yer Chews! you can confidently enter any home, any yard, ANY circumstance, with your head held high and your hands waving anywhere you want them!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

With a bag of Choose Yer Chews! in your pocket, you can absolutely know that you are safe!  Just throw one to any dog you question, and interest in you will immediately go away!

And you can choose yer Choose Yer Chews! from either of our two spectacular Choose Yer Chews! models!

Choose either Kirk Billy Jays Chews! or Disco Billy Jays Chews!  Have fun!  It depends on your mood!

So call now!

And, as always, if you do call now, one of our choosy and polite phone technicians will help you choose the Choose Yer Chews! that is right for you!

That's right!  You can choose a bag of Kirk Billy Jays Chews! or a bag of Disco Billy Jays Chews!  Or, consult with our phone technician if you should choose the special bag of MIX AND MATCH CHEWS!

That way, when you reach into the bag for a special treat for that special biting someone, you don't know which will come out!  What a surprise that will be!

Our phone technicians are standing by!  So CALL NOW!  Have your credit card ready and the small charge of $3.13 will have your bag of Billy Jays' new Choose Yer Chews! on its way!

But wait!  If you call in the next 20 minutes, cause we can't do this all day, and if your promise to tell a friend or neighbor, we will throw in a second bag absolutely free!  THAT'S TWO BAGS OF CHOOSE YER CHEWS! FOR THE PRICE OF ONE!

If I was you I would CALL NOW!

 

And if YOU feel like biting into anything, well, as always, a case of Lotsa Nuts! will be sent with your order.

Yes, when you feel like a snack eat Lotsa Nuts!

Cause you are what you eat!

Don't get caught again as a snack for any dog!  Get Choose Yer Chews!

And not only will you be impressed with the results, so will your friends and neighbors!  And NEVER AGAIN will you be the snack object of any dog ANYWHERE!     

CALL NOW!

 

 

 

 

Posted by

Jay Markanich Real Estate Inspections, LLC  

Based in Bristow, serving all of Northern Virginia.

Office (703) 330-6388   Cell (703) 585-7560

www.jaymarinspect.com


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Rainmaker
1,563,010
Bob "RealMan" Timm
Ward County Notary Services - Minot, ND
Owner of Ward Co. Notary Services, retired Realtor

Billy, I'm going to hold out for the BillyBoma chew or the BillyFrank chew or even the BillyMadinashod chew.

Dec 24, 2010 12:43 AM #4
Rainmaker
2,655,894
Debbie Gartner
The Flooring Girl - White Plains, NY
The Flooring Girl & Blog Stylist -Dynamo Marketers

Too bad you didn't have those before that dog bite.  Hope your hand gets better soon.

Dec 24, 2010 01:00 AM #6
Rainmaker
313,378
Glenn Roberts
Retired - Seattle, WA

Keep the chews, Billy and send Lotsanuts. I'm a nibbler and when Fido strikes, I bite back.

Dec 24, 2010 01:16 AM #7
Ambassador
1,333,069
Charles Buell
Charles Buell Inspections Inc. - Seattle, WA
Seattle Home Inspector

jay, and of course they could be made in all the shapes of your friends and enemies

Dec 24, 2010 02:14 AM #8
Ambassador
2,457,930
Steve Hoffacker
Steve Hoffacker LLC - West Palm Beach, FL
Certified Aging In Place Specialist-Instructor

Jay,

Finally a product for all of those annoying dogs. Why hasn't anyone come up with this before?

Merry Christmas! :)

Steve

Dec 24, 2010 02:28 AM #9
Rainmaker
455,517
John Mulkey
TheHousingGuru.com - Waleska, GA
Housing Guru

Billy - While the "chews" may pacify an angry dog, my preference is a taser--and it also works on angry owners!

Dec 24, 2010 04:36 AM #10
Rainmaker
681,694
Cynthia Larsen
Cotati, CA
Independent Broker In Sonoma County, CA

Ooh ... dog meat! I really thought this was going in the direction of "Fear The Beard".

Dec 24, 2010 04:46 AM #11
Rainmaker
128,818
Craig Snead
Quality Home Investments, LLC / Dearborn Heights, MI - Dearborn Heights, MI
Real Estate Investor

Billy, nice way to make light of your recent incident. I hope you have a supply ready to ship. Someone may just "bite" on your offer........

Dec 24, 2010 05:07 AM #12
Rainer
169,728
Menlo Park Real Estate and Homes for Sale
Wende Schoof - Menlo Park, CA
WendeByTheBay.com - 650.504.0219 - SF Peninsula

Billy Jay, Could we just order the actual Kirk and Disco Billy Jay dolls?  I think throwing them over the fence or into a room before entering could work, too.  Oh, and could you make them life size?  That way it will give us more time to get through the yard or room.  Thanks for another great Billy Jay product and Merry Christmas!

Dec 24, 2010 06:01 AM #13
Rainmaker
261,840
Barb & Sal Dragotta
Macomb, MI
Macomb County Michigan

Jay-Billy... this is GREAT ! I have no reason for them as chews, but those 2 selections would add to anyone's collections of 'new & novel'; can't you just see them on the shelves of every house you enter.  This could be a profitable side-business for you.  How Fun is this post.

Have a great Merry Christmas

Barb

Dec 24, 2010 06:46 AM #14
Rainmaker
683,797
James Quarello
JRV Home Inspection Services, LLC - Wallingford, CT
Connecticut Home Inspector

Great, no fantastic, no superfantabulous idea! I'll be expecting my cut :)

Dec 24, 2010 07:12 AM #15
Rainmaker
1,244,359
Steven L. Smith
King of the House Home Inspection, Inc. - Bellingham, WA
Bellingham WA Home Inspector

Jay,

You could buy a dog training full body bite suit. The new ones are fairly comfortable and not to pay. You got a keep your darn hands in your pockets unless you want to wear a bite sleeve.

Dec 24, 2010 09:44 AM #16
Rainmaker
1,833,489
Jay Markanich
Jay Markanich Real Estate Inspections, LLC - Bristow, VA
Home Inspector - servicing all Northern Virginia

Thanks Celia, but that's a beard from another well known marketer named Billy...

Fine, Sue, thanks.  The hospital said no tetanus needed - I'm within 5 years of my last one!  I hear the shipment is on its way.

That sure is true Pam.  I obviously don't know what to do!

You are welcome to hang on, Bob, but it may be a while for those!

Dec 24, 2010 12:03 PM #17
Rainmaker
1,833,489
Jay Markanich
Jay Markanich Real Estate Inspections, LLC - Bristow, VA
Home Inspector - servicing all Northern Virginia

Yes, Valerie - from yesterday's post.  Or the day before, I don't remember now!

Debbie - an email actually inspired this new product!  I will have a post about that.  Someone further down is taking credit...  and will get it!

Glenn - then I can sure use you around me!

Charlie - thinking voodoo?  Say it ain't so, Joe!  Now I'm on pins and needles.

Dec 24, 2010 12:06 PM #18
Rainmaker
1,833,489
Jay Markanich
Jay Markanich Real Estate Inspections, LLC - Bristow, VA
Home Inspector - servicing all Northern Virginia

Steve - leave it to Billy to come up with something not only new, but useful!

John - in this case I would not have had time to get that taser out!  Enjoy the white Christmas!

Cynthia - with all the Billy Jays products advertised here on AR, and you think this is about a beard?

Craig - those phone techs have been busy all day!

Dec 24, 2010 12:10 PM #19
Rainmaker
1,833,489
Jay Markanich
Jay Markanich Real Estate Inspections, LLC - Bristow, VA
Home Inspector - servicing all Northern Virginia

Wende - it sure is hard to offer a bagful of them for sale when they are life sized!

Thanks Barb!  I also think they should be in every house, and in every clime!

Jim - I think Billy got your email and considered it personally.  I understand he is coming up with a reply even now....      keep your eyes open!

Steve - I have seen those on TV and they seem to be quite the protectors.  Are you sure we'll be needing them now that Choose Yer Chews! is available?

 

Dec 24, 2010 12:13 PM #20
Ambassador
2,457,930
Steve Hoffacker
Steve Hoffacker LLC - West Palm Beach, FL
Certified Aging In Place Specialist-Instructor

Jay,

Congratulations. This is now featured on "Celebrating Free Enterprise." :)

Steve

Dec 25, 2010 03:35 AM #21
Rainmaker
1,833,489
Jay Markanich
Jay Markanich Real Estate Inspections, LLC - Bristow, VA
Home Inspector - servicing all Northern Virginia

Thanks Steve!  That Billy, marketer extraordinaire!

Dec 25, 2010 03:38 AM #22
Rainmaker
2,704,298
Lisa Von Domek
Lisa Von Domek Team - Dallas, TX
....Experience Isn't Expensive.... It's Priceless!

Choose your chews - perfect for Holly!

Dec 29, 2013 11:59 AM #23
Rainmaker
1,833,489
Jay Markanich
Jay Markanich Real Estate Inspections, LLC - Bristow, VA
Home Inspector - servicing all Northern Virginia

Well, get the multi-pack Lisa, and she will have a great Christmas stocking experience.

Dec 29, 2013 08:16 PM #24
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Jay Markanich

Home Inspector - servicing all Northern Virginia
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