Do you go into people's homes? Is it a part of your job? Or are you a social butterfly and flit from home to home?
Are you forever worrying that a dog might be inside, and that you might be bitten?
Well, that worry is now a thing of the past!
Your new mantra can now be NEVER AGAIN! I am NOT dog meat!
Hi, Billy Jays here!
This is for all of you who have ever heard the pitiful phrase,
"OH, MY. SHE'S NEVER BITTEN ANYBODY!"
And that is AFTER you are the one who popped the biter's bite cherry!
Don't let this happen to you!
What you need is a bagful of my new Choose Yer Chews!
Yes, with Choose Yer Chews! you can confidently enter any home, any yard, ANY circumstance, with your head held high and your hands waving anywhere you want them!
With a bag of Choose Yer Chews! in your pocket, you can absolutely know that you are safe! Just throw one to any dog you question, and interest in you will immediately go away!
And you can choose yer Choose Yer Chews! from either of our two spectacular Choose Yer Chews! models!
Choose either Kirk Billy Jays Chews! or Disco Billy Jays Chews! Have fun! It depends on your mood!
So call now!
And, as always, if you do call now, one of our choosy and polite phone technicians will help you choose the Choose Yer Chews! that is right for you!
That's right! You can choose a bag of Kirk Billy Jays Chews! or a bag of Disco Billy Jays Chews! Or, consult with our phone technician if you should choose the special bag of MIX AND MATCH CHEWS!
That way, when you reach into the bag for a special treat for that special biting someone, you don't know which will come out! What a surprise that will be!
Our phone technicians are standing by! So CALL NOW! Have your credit card ready and the small charge of $3.13 will have your bag of Billy Jays' new Choose Yer Chews! on its way!
But wait! If you call in the next 20 minutes, cause we can't do this all day, and if your promise to tell a friend or neighbor, we will throw in a second bag absolutely free! THAT'S TWO BAGS OF CHOOSE YER CHEWS! FOR THE PRICE OF ONE!
If I was you I would CALL NOW!
And if YOU feel like biting into anything, well, as always, a case of Lotsa Nuts! will be sent with your order.
Yes, when you feel like a snack eat Lotsa Nuts!
Cause you are what you eat!
Don't get caught again as a snack for any dog! Get Choose Yer Chews!
And not only will you be impressed with the results, so will your friends and neighbors! And NEVER AGAIN will you be the snack object of any dog ANYWHERE!