Buyers aren’t liars, you may just be a horrible listener!

listening is key to success.

I really enjoyed this post and all the comments. For myself, I will say I do not believe buyers are liars, and when I became a better listener, I became a better REALTOR. I also ask more questions. Thanks for sharing.

Listening is key!   Ever change your mind after you've gotten a bit of experience?  Buyers do as well.   They aren't always liars, just trying to figure things out.   Our role is to read the signals and help clients get to what's right for them.

Often times buyers do not really understand what they want until they have looked around.  A good agent will help them sort through the proccess.  I think some buyers lie to us about thier real budget as they feel they need to negotiate with us as well as the sellers.

I agree, the skills that we need to develop, have to deal more with personality styles, and projecting to the buyer or seller a picture that matches more closely what they were expecting to find in an agent.

Hi Todd, you said it well and so did #11, sometimes buyers don't know what they want until they realize what they don't want.

Buyers expect us to use our expertise to translate their verbal and non-verbal cues into the place that's right for them if it's out there or tell them what the problem may be.

We pride ourselves on doing that and it sounds like you do, too.

The term "listening" gets tossed around frequently in real estate, but to me it is as much about resisting the urge to talk too much. It seems we all get so excited to diagnose what a client wants it is hard to just be still and silent and really listen. After listening to a wonderful Brian Tracy seminar, I tried out his theory on making "white magic." We found that something magical does happen when we turn off our phone, eliminate all distractions, are fully prepared and polished in appearace for an appointment. And, then concentrate all of our energy on truly listening to the client and not interrupting or trying to immediately overcome an objection. Listening, in this context, is just as much about creating a warm energy and environment for the client to feel comfortable and open to sharing from the heart level versus the head level. That brief honest exchange can anchor a relationship through thick and thin.

There is just so much noise in the world now, people are grateful to sincerely be heard by someone who honestly cares about them.

Warm Regards to All,

Dustin Oldfather

Todd, a great post.  We all need to be better listeners with our clients and customers; that's just a given.  But do we really do it?  I always try my best to minimize my words, eliminate the "white noise", so to speak, and listen to what my clients say as well as what THEY DON'T SAY.  Your blog post reminded me of a sale I had at the beginning of the year.  I had a client referred to me whose criteria was not much more than price.  On our first visit we toured all the properties I prepared for her to see.  Half way through the day I began to realize by her expressions that she was not interested in anything in her given price range.  After exhausting almost all of the different buildings and units on tour I asked her to bear with me as I wanted to veer away from the "plan" for the day.  She complied and I showed her a listing of mine.  I explained that although higher in price, I wanted her to see other properties and that I could tell she was turned off by everything we had seen.  She loved the listing and at that point told me she could go up in price (which of course had me shaking my head).  She eventually bought in that building although not my listing.  Based on that experience I wholeheartedly agree with your post.  Thanks for sharing.  Best of luck in 2011!

Todd - great post! I also hate the term "buyers are liars". I have found that the agents who proclaim this the loudest are the ones who don't listen (to anyone). Sometimes buyers just don't know how to express what they want until you listen long enough. It really is all about listening and listening and listening.

Greay advise.  I always ask at each home I show what they like and dislike at each house. Thsi helps narrow it down to what they really want.  Listen, Listen, Listen  let them tell you and better yet show you.

I hate the term "buyers are liars" also - don't even know how that got started. Listening and watching your client's reaction is key. Great post!

Yes indeed we must listen.  Not only to what buyers do say, but what they don't say.  What we may think would send them running, they might not have an objection to at all.

Todd: Listening IS important but when a buyer informs you that they CANNOT afford more than $900,000  (and would have to borrow to get that)and ONLY want one area... and they end up buying (from another agent) a property for $1.1 in a  different area... I would have to say that (at least some) buyers are indeed liars.......  Best, Gay

Todd- You hit the nail on the head. Hearing what a buyer is saying and listening to what they are saying are indeed two very different things. What they say may not be what you hear. If your mind is racing while they are speaking you are not listening,nor are you hearing what it is they are trying to tell you. Good listeners can concisely summarize what the speaker has just said. In doing so, it re-affirms to the speaker that you have beem listening, and understand what it is they are trying to convey.

Todd, I refuse to use that statement.

You are so right on. We are not hearing what the buyers really want or need. Until we learn how to ask the right questions and listen very carefully to the answers and then ask more questions and show a few homes and ask more questions will we recognize what the buyer is asking for. Many times they have no idea what they want and need that good agent  to narrow the search and then really listen for the buying signals!

Margaret

Great post Todd. A good example given from a position of humility. Listening/hearing is important to every relationship, isn't it?

I have found that to be the case, that buyers are liars, but not in every case. Sure, if a buyer is looking for a single family home, I don't show them condo highrises downtown. If they're looking on the west side of the river, I don't show them way far east. However, I have found buyers who want a $500K home, will buy a $350K home. Sometimes they want a 1 level, but buy a 2 level.

What's very aggravating is that you show them one house, and they dont' like it, then you don't work with them, and 6 months later you find they bought that house.

Todd, I couldn't agree more.  I can't tell you how many times I have picked up clients because they were frustrated by their Realtor sending them the wrong kinds of properties.  They ask for $200-$250k, with 4 bedrooms, and they get 3/2's under $150k.  It seems unbelievable that agents could be so dense, but the usual culprit is their insistence on sending OFFICE listings, instead of what's best for their client. 

Also, as you said, sometimes buyers don't know what they want until they really get out there and start looking.  If you pay attention, after about 2-3 showings you can basically tell when you walk through the door whether they will like it or not.

On another note, how weird is blogging?  I know you're a big superstar here on ActiveRain, but I've commented on a few of your posts, and you've reciprocated...and now I almost feel like I know you.  I can now see how buyers could get that same feeling by reading my posts...and could really begin to know, like, and trust me to the point of wanting to do business.  Eureka!