Odds are unless you have recently attended one of my seminars you and I have never met. Nevertheless I'm going to read your mind. Sound impossible? Let's see how close I can come to hitting the mark. Okay, relax. Go to your mental sanctuary and let me see if I can cross the space time continuum and tap into your cramped cranium. Take a deep breath and concentrate on something pleasant - like a big commission check.
Okay here is what I picked up:
You have a need for other people to like and admire you, and yet you tend to be critical of yourself. While you have some personality weaknesses you are generally able to compensate for them. You have considerable unused capacity that you have not turned to your advantage. Disciplined and self-controlled on the outside, you tend to be worrisome and insecure on the inside. At times, you have serious doubts as to whether you have made the right decision or done the right thing. You prefer a certain amount of change and variety and become dissatisfied when hemmed in by restrictions and limitations. You also pride yourself as an independent thinker and do not accept other's statements without satisfactory proof, but you have found it unwise to be too frank in revealing yourself to others. At times, you are extroverted, affable, and sociable, while at other times you are introverted, wary, and reserved. Some of your aspirations tend to be unrealistic.
So was it a success? Did I accurately describe the real you? If you're like 95% of college students who were given this "cold reading" you would probably rate this description of yourself as good to excellent. How is that possible? It's not. This mind reading exercise was developed by psychologist Bertram Forer to expose fraudulent mind reading psychics as frauds. The skill, as Forer points out, in being a physic or mystic isn't in the divination of voices, or thoughts from the great beyond but the ability to read the subtle feedback given to them by their subjects during a reading.
What's not being said is often more important than what it!
Why is this important to us as real estate professionals? As many communication experts point out up to 80% of human communication is non-verbal. Instead it is body language, and voice intonation that often clues most of us in to what people are often thinking but not saying. Mastering the art of reading the subtle subtext of a conversation is one way superstars can enhance any presentation. Just like the psychic who hones his reading to appeal to his customers we can do this when talking with a new potential client. How? Let's look at the Four Ways to Read Minds:
Four Ways to Read Minds
1) Eye Contact and Brow Movement - In teaching seminars students often pose questions about the material, after answering their concern I often follow up my response by asking - "Did that answer your question?" Interestingly, in a group setting many students will say yes but often their eyes say no. The same can be true when doing a presentation. Some behaviors to watch for:
Acceptance/ Agreement:
Direct Eye Contact - Client is showing interest in your information.
Smiling Eyes - Demonstrates that the client is comfortable.
Relaxed Brow - Shows that they are open to your discussion points.
Rejection / Negativity
Head Drop - A client whose head is down is often avoiding a discussion.
Limited Eye Contact - This client may want to break off the discussion.
Tension in Brow - The client may be confused, upset, or afraid.
2) Facial Gestures - Experts in reading body language often study the mouth as a way to determine a subject's acceptance or rejection of a given message. How? Upward turns in the corners of the mouth are often positive indications that the client is engaged and interested, where as flat lines, downward turns, or pressed lips often can show signs of unhappiness or the rejection of a given message.
3) Upper Body Movements - As a general rule of thumb a closed off posture means a close minded attitude, arms crossed, leaning backward, or moving a chair in the opposite direction - not so good, on the flip side an open or willing attitude is often inferred by someone who keeps their arms open, leans forward, or nods as you are speaking.
4) Leg Activity - Although many clients cross their legs for many reasons that having nothing to do with what you are saying, clients that are fidgeting with their feet, or legs are often nervous, anxious, or (have to go to the bathroom). In either case it is probably wise to stop talking and ask a question like - "How does that sound?" or "What are your thoughts on that?"
Now setting all these finer points aside I think we are already pretty adept at reading minds we just may not realize it. For instance when I walk through the door of my home tonight I can guarantee you that I can gauge my wife's demeanor by taking only one quick glace at her face. After all how many times have you ever heard the term "I could cut the tension with a knife?" Think about that statement, how do you sense tension? Can you see it, smell it, or touch it? No, but it's still there. This sixth sense is often attributed to our minds ability to sense things on a far smaller, nuanced scale than anyone has yet to comprehend.
Wise agents understand that each client is unique with different needs, questions, and concerns. But for some clients the ability to express their true motivations, those inner needs is difficult, sort of like trying to pet a porcupine. They want to but it really hurts. So it falls to us the professional real estate practitioner to unravel the motivation mystery by carefully listening to our clients verbal, and non-verbal communication cues.
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