When I read Elizabeth Cooper-Golden's blog post "Don't Pick Your Nose in Public", it reminded me about what I said to my son about paying attention to how he conducts himself online, too.
I recently allowed my son to set up his own Facebook page (he just turned 16). Now, that may seem old by today's standards to actually begin an online presence, but I am NOT the "cool mom" (as I frequently tell him). I will not allow him to stay up past midnight on a school night just so he can get in to Game Stop when they release the newest Halo game. He's just going to have to wait until after school the day it is released to pick up his reserved copy (and when there are no crowds, may I add). I won't buy him alcohol or cigarettes and he is not about to take a sip of a cocktail I may be imbibing on. He has a set bedtime and the XBox is off limits (remotes and keyboard are in our bedroom) during the week because it has become too much of a temptation to avoid homework and play video games instead. When my husband told me that we shouldn't have to take the XBox away because we told him that he can't play and that should be all that needs to be done, I suggested that, if it were easy to avoid the temptation, both of us would be skinny. He quickly changed his mind and agreed with me. My son has learned to accept me for my "uncoolness" and is fine with it. Really, I was ready to allow the Facebook account last year, but my husband is even more "uncool" than I am.
In all reality, I was the one to set up the Facebook account for my son. Since we recently moved 800 miles from our old home, his old friends wanted to keep in touch with him via Facebook. Quelle horreur! He didn't actually have an account at the time. After I set up the account, making sure that neither his high school nor our address was anywhere on it (I don't even have our address on my own account), I reminded him that I have access to this account, not only through the fact that we are "friends" on FB but also because I have his login/password info and can go into it at any time, which includes messages sent to/from friends that aren't posted online (being sure to remind him that I would be doing so from time to time...I'm not the "uncool mom" for nothing). I also told him that many employers are now turning to Facebook to check out an employee prospect. After this, I suggested that he keep these things in mind when he posts something on his wall, on someone else's wall or when someone posts something on his wall. In fact, my exact words were "Don't do or say anything that you wouldn't do or say right in front of me". Good rule of thumb, I think.
It's easy for people to get caught up in the moment and feel safe behind the "anonymity" that the virtual world provides. Unfortunately, it can also come back to bite you in the butt. While I am truthful in what I post, I am still cautious about what is put out there for public consumption, even when it is so-called "private", because I know that everything is visible somewhere. I want to teach this to my son as well. Big Brother, Daddy and Momma will be watching. Somehow, though, I think he's more concerned about Momma and Daddy than Big Brother.
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