What many may not know about me is that I have an Excel Spread Sheet Set up with each one of my Subscribers, the number of comments they have made on my posts, and whether their blood type will feed my yearning body if I so need it.
For example, I recently wrote a post that lost me three subscribers. Before that, I wrote one that gained me two. Two posts before the one that gained me two, I lost four, but gained five on a previous post just months earlier.
My guess is most folks who legitly are in this deal on AR want business first, notoriety of any kind, second. That's just a guess. For me, I probably reached my pinnacle of popularity on the charts and subsequently in the business about two years ago. Since then, I just do this stuff to avoid sleep and either substantiate or totally eclipse my personal ego.
Back to the point of the post, though. My other guess is that many, if not every person reading this doesn't want to lose a subscriber. Not one! If you lose a subscriber, whether on here or on FB or on the paper route paying the bills while you figure out why Uncle Steve didn't hire you as the Ombudsman after you sent him a well thought out Christmas Card, that kind of sucks.
And why would you ever do it?
Personally, I don't aim to lose the interest of folks who have sparked an interest in what I post ... but I am what I am along the way. And that's that.
Here is what I've learned:
- Talk Politics. Even if you are centered in most of what is your ideology, speak out on everything. If you like the current President and they bash ya, vote for it again. If you dislike the current President, consider him an un-born American Socialistic Pig who is hell-bent on the destruction of this Country. If that doesn't work, pick on Bush. And dismantle Carter, Reagan, and certain aspects of Medicare along the way.
- Potty Talk. In a perfect sort of world, I probably could write lyrics for any Comedy Central Roast out there. I know my talents and my flaws ... let's just say I could put any rib Jeffrey Ross projects to shame. In reality, I'm not a fan of throwing explicatives out there like snowballs at a Packer Game, yet human imperfection turns my comedic senses on. There's nothing funnier than taking a dump in the back of the toilet as your house is foreclosed upon and then one week later they modify your loan and you got to deal with the .... Shit. That's funny!
- Drink 24 ounces of Straight Gin and then post. You're bound to piss off somebody, including yourself.
- Don't comment on their posts. Just don't. Eventually the fact that you've lost interest in them will resonate in them losing interest in you. Reciprocating ain't what it used to be. Nor should it ever be.
- Unsubscribe to everyone on your list and then only add them when you searching through posts to find something interesting enough that you'd subscribe again. Trust me, it screws with the Excel Spread Sheets...
The only thing more impressive than gaining a subscriber is losing one. That's my ego talking. 435 to go...