That Place

Real Estate Agent with Berkshire Hathaway HomeServices - C. Dan Joyner 21498

I met an old friend today for lunch. She had called me and asked if I would meet her some place where we could eat a bite, then linger a while to talk. I told her I knew just the place, and after her two hour drive from Charlotte, we met at a tiny Mexican restaurant where people go more to talk than to eat. She had given me no heads up on what it was she wanted to talk about, and when we finished our lunch I finally just asked.

“Shelly, what is it, sweety? What’s up that's made you drive two hours to see me?”

As she began to pour out her feelings, I could see the pain in her eyes. It had been over three years since we last met face-to-face, and the things I was hearing did not fit my friend of three years prior. She spoke of her troubled marriage and how unfulfilling it had become, and how she had gained all this weight, and no longer knew who she was. She said she had lost herself somewhere between being a wife and a mom, and trying to work a steady job…it had all just gotten to be too much.

“I want to decide things again! I don’t decide anything anymore – my role as a mom, my role as a wife, how things are going to go in my life, my body – I can’t even control my own SELF! I hate who I have become, and I am so out of control and I don’t know what to do about it anymore…”

These words, they cut through me like a dagger, and I could sense the depth of her pain. I felt her sense of helplessness and my heart wept as I heard her words over and over again…”I don’t decide anything anymore…I hate who I’ve become…”

We talked for almost three hours…we cried some and we laughed some. Then we shared a long, loving embrace, and she was on her way back home. I thought about the things she had said for the rest of the day and into this evening, and it occurred to me how common this really is…how easy it is to look up and find yourself in “that place.”

Shelly was afraid of her own life…how it had spun out of control and left her feeling helpless. Of course, there are things we can do to improve our own situation, but sometimes even the simplest of things seem out of reach. Many a drowning victim has died with a lifesaving ring floating only a few feet away. Sometimes we just get paralyzed and we do nothing.

All of us know “this place” on some level…the place we somehow got to and can’t explain how nor what to do about it. Some people bounce out quickly while others get mired for years – even a lifetime. Either way, it is important to realize, WHETHER YOU BELIEVE IT OR NOT, that things can get better.

No one deserves to feel what it takes to utter the words, “I hate who I’ve become.”

No one.  


Some of my recent blogs:   

  1. We Have A Situation...
  2. Going Around or Coming Around?
  3. Snow Cream in S.C. !!!
  4. Client E-Mail Question #4 >>> Stigmatized Properties
  5. Killing the Neighborhood Menace
  6. A Word to the Wise???
  7. Isn't That Obvious?
  8. Client E-Mail Question #3 >> Common Underwriting Snag
  9.  Stupid Husband
  10.  New Year's Resolutions Are For Quitters
  11.  That IS normal...right?
  12.  Client E-Mail Question #2 -- Who Can Hold the Earnest Money?
  13.  New Year's Meal >> What's Your Tradition?
  14.  Price Reduced - Brick home in Anderson/Belton area for Under $60,000!
  15.  New Year's Tradition
  16.  Client E-Mail Question -- Home Warranties
  17.  Total Lunar Eclipse? I Totally Missed It!
  18.  Fresh Tomatoes Anyone? (Even in December)
  19.  Kodak Moment -- From Kitty to College...A Love Story
  20.  Get Up The Poop or Stay In Your Own Yard 



Posted by

If you are looking to buy or sell a home in the  Anderson or Greenville SC real estate areas, visit our website at for tons of great information.


Sheila Newton   
Sheila Newton Team 
Berkshire Hathaway HomeServices -
C. Dan Joyner, Realtors
864-225-1205 (direct)
864-940-6377 (mobile)    

                   Follow Me on Pinterest

 BHHS C Dan Joyner - Sheila Newton Team




This entry hasn't been re-blogged:

Re-Blogged By Re-Blogged At
ActiveRain Community
South Carolina
Bloggers Choice Selections
Dedicated Bloggers
Diary of a Realtor
40 Somethings

Post a Comment
Spam prevention
Spam prevention
Show All Comments
Shawna Green
Keller Williams Realty-Fayetteville - Fayetteville, NC
The key to your real estate needs!

Shelia, how horrible for your friend.  Hopefully she can get her "self" back...I really feel for her.  Sending a prayers her way!

Jan 16, 2011 02:22 PM #1
Sheila Newton Team Anderson & Greenville SC
Berkshire Hathaway HomeServices - C. Dan Joyner - Anderson, SC
Selling the Upstate since 1989

Hey thanks, Shawna...I felt for her too, and it was awful not to be able to do much of anything to help her. Good news though...she called me tonight and said that she was feeling much better since our talk, and that she was going to check into joining a gym tomorrow! (something we talked about) Thanks for your concern...       : )

Jan 16, 2011 03:45 PM #2
Shawna Green
Keller Williams Realty-Fayetteville - Fayetteville, NC
The key to your real estate needs!

Not sure what you said to her but way to go...going to the gym will be a huge help to her...both mentally and physically! 

Jan 17, 2011 12:00 PM #3
Erby Crofutt
B4 U Close Home Inspections&Radon Testing ( - Lexington, KY
The Central Kentucky Home Inspector, Lexington KY

It's always nice to have a friend to share such feelings with but, in the end, we have to reach for the life ring ourselves.  Glad to see she's reaching.  Baby steps!

Jan 17, 2011 11:19 PM #4
Post a Comment
Spam prevention
Show All Comments

What's the reason you're reporting this blog entry?

Are you sure you want to report this blog entry as spam?


Sheila Newton Team Anderson & Greenville SC

Selling the Upstate since 1989
What can we help you with?
Spam prevention

Additional Information