Friday Funnies ~ Tell me this will not happen to us!!

By
Real Estate Broker/Owner with Sunset Beach and Beyond Realty

TELL ME THIS WILL NOT HAPPEN TO US!!

 

     An elderly Floridian called 911 on her cell phone to report
     that her car has been broken into. She is hysterical as she
     explains her situation to the dispatcher: 'They've
     stolen the stereo, the steering wheel, the brake pedal and
     even the accelerator!' she cried.. The dispatcher said,
     'Stay calm... An officer is on the way.' A few minutes
     later, the officer radios in 'Disregard.' He says.
     'She got in the back-seat by mistake.'
   

      This is too precious..
       
     Three sisters, ages 92, 94 and 96, live in a house
     together. One night the 96-year-old draws a bath. She puts
     her foot in and pauses. She yells to the other sisters,
     'Was I getting in or out of the bath?' The
     94-year-old yells back, 'I don't know. I'll come
     up and see.' She starts up the stairs and pauses
     'Was I going up the stairs or down? The 92-year-old is
     sitting at the kitchen table having tea listening to her
     sisters, she shakes her head and says, 'I sure hope I
     never get that forgetful, knock on wood...' She then
    yells, 'I'll come up and help both of you as soon as
     I see who's at the door.'
   
    
    
     'I CAN HEAR JUST FINE!'
    
     Three retirees, each with a hearing loss, were playing golf
     one fine March day. One remarked to the other, 'Windy,
     isn't it?' 'No,' the second man replied,
     'it's Thursday.' And the third man chimed in,
     'So am I. Let's have a beer.'
    
     
     A little old lady was running up and down the halls in a
     nursing home. As she walked, she would flip up the hem of
     her nightgown and say 'Supersex.' She walked up to
     an elderly man in a wheelchair.. Flipping her gown at him,
     she said, 'Supersex...' He sat silently for a moment
     or two and finally answered, 'I'll take the soup.'
   
    
    Two elderly ladies had been friends for many decades. Over
     the years, they had shared all kinds of activities and
     adventures. Lately, their activities had been limited to
     meeting a few times a week to play cards.
    
     One day, they were playing cards when one looked at the
     other and said, 'Now don't get mad at me ... I know
     we've been friends for a long time, but I just can't
     think of your name! I've thought And thought, but I
     can't remember it. Please tell me what your name is..
    
     Her friend glared at her for at least three minutes she
     just stared and glared at her. Finally she said, 'How
     soon do you need to know?'
   
    
     SENIOR DRIVING
    
     As a senior citizen was driving down the freeway, his car
     phone rang. Answering, he heard his wife's voice
     urgently warning him, 'Herman, I just heard on the news
     that there's a car going the wrong way on Interstate 77.
     Please be careful!' 'Heck,' said Herman,
     'It's not just one car. It's hundreds of  them!'
   
 
    DRIVING
    
     Two elderly women were out driving in a large car - both
     could barely see over the dashboard. As they were cruising
     along, they came to an intersection. The stoplight was red,
     but they just went on through. The woman in the passenger
     seat thought to herself 'I must be losing it. I could
     have sworn we just went Through a red light.'
    
     After a few more minutes, they came to another intersection
     and the light was red. Again, they went right through. The
     woman in the passenger seat was almost sure that the light
     had been red but was really concerned that she was losing
     it. She was getting nervous.
    
     At the next intersection, sure enough, the light was red
     and they went on through. So, She turned to the other woman
     and said, 'Mildred, did you know that we just ran
     through three red lights in a row? You could have killed us
     both!'
    
     Mildred turned to her and said, 'Oh, crap, am I driving?'

    
    
  THIS WILL HAPPEN TO US!!!

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Ambassador
1,159,214
Craig Rutman
Helping people in transition - Cary, NC
Raleigh, Cary, Apex area Realtor

I gotta tell you, I hope this none of these ever happen to me either!

Feb 11, 2011 04:59 AM #1
Rainmaker
531,807
Karen Baker
Sunset Beach and Beyond Realty - Sunset Beach, NC
Professional Help with Rapid Responses...

Craig ~ Your humor will prevent this from happening to you ~

Feb 11, 2011 05:03 AM #2
Rainmaker
621,739
Deborah Byron Leffler BzyBee Real Estate Lady!
Keller Williams Realty Boise - Nampa, ID

LOL  I sure hope it is a long time til these happen to me!   LOL  My father in law sent them to me earlier in the week!   I sure did get a chuckle out of them!   LOL

Feb 11, 2011 05:05 AM #3
Rainmaker
484,601
Cindy Westfall
Premiere Property Group,LLC Portland Metro & Suburbs Oregon - Tualatin, OR
ABR,GRI Your Tualatin & Portland Metro Real Estate

Oh, these were cute...and I'm sure some of them will eventually happen. Thanks for the Friday humor! Going to shoot this one over to my MIL..she'll get a kick out of them.

Feb 11, 2011 05:45 AM #4
Rainmaker
531,807
Karen Baker
Sunset Beach and Beyond Realty - Sunset Beach, NC
Professional Help with Rapid Responses...

Deborah ~ I love it! Your father in law sent them to you, how funny is that!!

Cindy ~ Isn't it great you have that kind of relationship with your MIL that you can send these jokes!!

Feb 11, 2011 05:56 AM #5
Rainer
108,582
Dawn & Charlie Tetro
PalmerHouse Properties & Associates - Johns Creek, GA
Real Service Real Results

My goodness!  Where do you get all these great laughs!!! Thanks so much for sharing!!!

Feb 11, 2011 06:01 AM #6
Rainer
471,521
Ted Tyrrell
RE/MAXCamosun (Chatterton) - Victoria, BC
Selling Homes in Beautiful Victoria

Frank & Karen, thanks for the funnies. My cousin had recently sent me these. Good to read them again.

Feb 11, 2011 01:58 PM #7
Rainmaker
531,807
Karen Baker
Sunset Beach and Beyond Realty - Sunset Beach, NC
Professional Help with Rapid Responses...

Ted ~ glad you like the funnies ~ beautiful pup in your profile with you

 

Feb 11, 2011 03:33 PM #8
Rainer
237,441
Judy Klem
Transition Stage LLC - Shelton, CT
Home Staging, Senior Move Management, Fairfield/New Haven counties

Hi Frank & Karen - Thanks for all the laughs! My husband and I have been hysterical here this morning!

Feb 12, 2011 01:53 AM #9
Rainmaker
531,807
Karen Baker
Sunset Beach and Beyond Realty - Sunset Beach, NC
Professional Help with Rapid Responses...

Judy ~ glad you and the hubby enjoyed ~

Feb 12, 2011 02:12 AM #10
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Rainmaker
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Karen Baker

Professional Help with Rapid Responses...
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