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How to Tell When the Brunette in Accounting is Sleeping With the Owner

By
Managing Real Estate Broker with Howard Hanna Rand Realty License # 49FA1074963

USIt is a fact that every male broker/owner has a little Lee Iacocca or Ross Perot in him. He wants to be the despot, the alpha male, and the quarterback who gets no back talk in the huddle. And, by and large, team members comply with that little illusion. My agents hang on my every word, my one w-2 employee is a model worker and instruction follower, and clients know that I am a hand-wringing control freak, which is to their benefit. 

Then, of course, we get to the brains behind the bravado, my partner in the LLC, the chief financial  officer, and administrative godess- the mother of my children. A guy visting from Norway would pick my wife out in about 5 minutes, not because of the long glances, hand holding, or the affection. He'd know my wife because of her complete lack of fear and her amusement at my delusions of grandeur. Vice President of the MLS? HA! You couldn't be head janitor of your own home. You beat out Joe Bigshot for a listing? That's nice- help Luke with his homework. Your photo was on the front page of the Business Journal? Good thing they never saw your desk. 

It isn't all about keeping me grounded as much as it is carte blanche to express an opinion. For example, as I will do a few times a week, I called Ann from my car today with an urgent edict that I couldn't handle myself and needed her to do. It was a simple enough task, but being that chick in the office who has biblical knowledge of the boss, she didn't just say "YASSIR!" and do it, she questioned if there weren't a better way to go about it. 

Which of course, kills me just a little, as I gaze upward and mouth "why" to no one in particuar. There are times that I engage her in a discussion, but there are also times that I just utter some variation of can you PLEASE JUST DO IT and we'll discuss the permutations when I am not occupied slaying dragons? I don't advise that one too often. 

Working with one's spouse is a challenge, and while I can vouch for the male view I am sure the fairer sex has a mountain to climb with our testosterone-driven foibles as well. Too much time apart is no match for being locked in the pressue cooker together 24/7. Shifting gears and just being us after hours (if there is a such a thing), is hard sometimes. But the real problem is most likely my inner tyrant, who resists the challenge of an intellectual equal offering a counter point when she sees the need. There are probably 1000 other husbands in married teams who see their own big challenge, but that one is mine. However, I wouldn't be where I am without the big talker backer, and while I might get annoyed at all the checks and balances, she keeps us balanced and that keeps the checks coming in. 

"Please just listen to me and do what I say" is one of the more ironic terms the past couple of years, because as much as I think or say it, I should take my own advice. 

 

Greg Nino
RE/MAX Compass - Houston, TX
Houston, Texas

J Philip,

 

Always a wonderful read. I wish I could work my wife as well as you do!

Feb 20, 2011 01:26 PM
J. Philip Faranda
Howard Hanna Rand Realty - Yorktown Heights, NY
Associate Broker / Office Manager

Thanks Greg. Ann is strong in every area where I suck, so I am fortunate that we make the other better. It's just too bad we are more like robots because all that humanity gets in the way. Imagine that. 

Feb 20, 2011 01:30 PM
Tamara Schuster
Naperville Glen Ellyn Lisle Plainfield Wheaton Illinois - Naperville, IL
Realtor Broker - Naperville

Great fun blog to read. 

Feb 20, 2011 01:37 PM
Tamara Schuster
Naperville Glen Ellyn Lisle Plainfield Wheaton Illinois - Naperville, IL
Realtor Broker - Naperville

Great fun blog to read. 

Feb 20, 2011 01:37 PM
Brian Rugg
Rugg Realty LLC Sun City Texas 512-818-6700 - Georgetown, TX
Sun City TX Real Estate - Georgetown, TX Real Est

The saying about, "behind every great mean is a great woman", seems more and true as time goes on.

Feb 20, 2011 02:00 PM
Jeff Belonger
Social Media - Infinity Home Mortgage Company, Inc - Cherry Hill, NJ
The FHA Expert - FHA Loans - FHA mortgages - USDA loans - VA Loans

Phil... even though we can sit here and laugh... and say that we expect people to listen to us... this was a fun read and yes, we must learn from what we preach and why. And you sir, can't ask me why I say this.. lol Seriously, I am single, but if I was married, I would be like you. But I would also be grateful to have someone such as your wife, your partner in crime. I enjoyed this one. thanks for sharing.

jeff belonger

Feb 20, 2011 02:26 PM
Marnie Matarese
DWELL REAL ESTATE - Sarasota, FL
Showing you the best of Sarasota!

Wonderful blog!  My real estate partner and my husband and I (that would be three of us) have formed our own brokerage and have been up and runnng for four months.  I am sure that I will have much more to say as time goes on but you are correct that working with one's spouse is a challenge.  It is a strange feeling to leave the house, kiss your husband goodbye and then greet him again about 20 minutes later at the office where he is now your broker. 

And, we face many of the same challenges at work that we face at home..... toilet seat left up, dishes in the break room only making it to the sink but never into the dishwasher and the ever familiar "Where is the lunchmeat" as he stands in front of the open refrigerator looking right at it.  Oh, and we have not even gotten to the work related issues yet.  So, I will, from time to time vent here, laugh here and share our trials and our victories.  But now what we have committed to this work union, I would not want it any other way!

Feb 20, 2011 02:41 PM
Jack Mossman - The Nines Team at Keller Williams in Lodi
The Nines Team at Keller Williams in Lodi - Lodi, CA
The Nines Team in Lodi

Phil: This morning at breakfast:  Waitress to my sister, about my brother-in-law ..."Is he always like this?" (Following a complicated modification to a standard menu selection)  Sister to the waitress "It's just a man-thing ... everything can be modified!"  Brother-in-law to the table at large ... "What did I do?" Sister to brother-in-law ... "Nothing, just never mind, dear." Waitress to brother-in-law "You wouldn't understand ... husbands never do ..."

Personally ... I just kept my mouth shut ... and tried to follow the match!  So, Phil ... maybe my sister and our server were correct .... "We just don't understand!"

Feb 20, 2011 02:50 PM
Liz and Bill Spear
Transaction Alliance 513.520.5305 www.LizTour.com - Mason, OH
Transaction Alliance Cincinnati & Dayton suburbs

Phil, Certainly makes life more interesting when doing the husband/wife/work thing.  I get a bit of a reprieve when I'm at the day job, but real estate is so consuming that it's never far away at ANY point of the day.  We bring different skill sets to the table, so the clients get a more complete package, and it works :)  Bill

Feb 20, 2011 10:31 PM
Kathryn Maguire
GreatNorfolkHomes.com (757) 560-0881 - Chesapeake, VA
Serving Chesapeake, Norfolk, VA Beach

What a sweet tribute to your wife.  Nice read on a Monday morning.

Feb 21, 2011 12:12 AM
Gay E. Rosen
Julia B. Fee Sotheby's International Realty - Larchmont, NY
As Real as Real Estate Gets!

Hi Phil - one thing I have noticed over the years is that many assistants will act as if they are wives in the office.... and for one reason or another - will get away with murder... I think it is simply wonderful you have your life partner working with you - who can perhaps help and assist - and gently offer other ways of reaching the same profitable and successful conclusion...  What did you do to merit Ann a lovely article? Ha! Best, Gay

Feb 21, 2011 12:43 AM
Christine Smith
Buyers Brokers Only LLC - www.BuyersBrokersOnly.com - Canton, MA
Exclusive Buyer Agent & Attorney, Canton, MA

That was a very nice read indeed.  And, that is a a lovely picture of you & your wife.  I'm not sure if my husband & I could work together!

Feb 21, 2011 12:44 AM
Margaret Oscilia
Creative Concepts-Home Staging and Contracting, Salem Oregon - Salem, OR
Home Stager, Salem Oregon

I love being able to work with my hubby in our business as well.  Was worried at first that we'd get weary of each other or bring the stresses home, but it has worked out beautifully.  Now I'm wondering if he feels like the alpha male since I do give him a bit of backtalk in the huddle at times!

Feb 21, 2011 01:00 AM