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"FP Has Gas & Legs" - Humorous Sales Pitch Strike-Outs

By
Real Estate Agent with Sotheby's International Realty BRE # 01362887

SEXY LEGS

Do you remember the terrible moment in baseball  at Shea Stadium in 1986 when the Red Sox World Series win went between Bill Buckner's legs?

It was Game 6, Red Sox vs. Mets, and the Sox were up three games to two, leading 5-3 with two outs in the bottom of the 10th.  Then, the Mets scored three singles. Mookie Wilson hit a grounder to Bill Buckner at first, and the ball went right through his legs , allowing the winning run. It was a sad, sad moment in baseball, friends. And there were some sad moments in the MLS again this week - wild pitches and blatant fouls that could rival Buckner's famous gaff:

Let The Game Begin 

"FP has gas & legs" (So does my Uncle Paddy, and he's usually lit, too.) 

"Patio doors has built-in blonds" (So does the Sigma Chi house at UCLA.) 

"Picturass setting" (Okay...I am picturing my a__ on a beach tossing down the margaritas.) 

Who's On First? 

"Slider stuck butt open" (Uh, maybe you should see a proctologist about that.) 

"Drawing 4 Tickets for Super Bowel" (This explains the "stuck butt open.") 

"Garage with auto open. Remote is lost, door won't open. Can open. Now closed." (Can anyone say "schizophrenia"?) 

"Window w/ broads will be replaced" (This must be the Sigma Chi house again...) 

Bench That Dude! 

"Bar and Murphy bled in basement" (Ouch - did Murphy get drunk fall off a bar stool like Uncle Paddy?) 

"Rose gardeng in back" (Rose must be a Rottweiler.) 

"New guts & rain-chains everywhere" (I believe that's called lap-band surgery) 

"Open Canceled- jersy duty" (Yeah, everyone does time in Jersey sooner or later...) 

Three Strikes And You're Out, Pal! 

"Tenants movement scheduled." (There's certainly something to be said for being regular...) 

"Safe, quiet street to love on" (I wish I had known about this place in high school...) 

"Top-end Fridgidhare appliances" (Have the hares tried Viagra?) 

"Turn right, downhill from thare" (A bit like your career, huh?)

Comments (15)

Kim McMahon
Executive Realty Group - Skokie, IL

Gwen~ Hysterical as always! Some of these need to take another hit off the pipe. LOL! Thanks for the Friday giggle.

Feb 25, 2011 06:21 AM
Gwen Banta
Sotheby's International Realty - Los Angeles, CA

LOL! Kim, I think a few need to PUT DOWN THE PIPE! :)

Feb 25, 2011 06:32 AM
Margaret Goss
@Properties - Winnetka, IL
Chicago's North Shore & Winnetka Real Estate

This is why I subscribe to you!  I just posted some BAD MLS photos - again.  Who are these people anyway??

Feb 25, 2011 06:41 AM
Gwen Banta
Sotheby's International Realty - Los Angeles, CA

I just checked them out, Margaret - they're great. Be sure to keep posting them. Maybe if the culprits know we are watching they will be a bit more careful. But then again - where would the fun be? :)

Feb 25, 2011 06:51 AM
Jane Peters
Home Jane Realty - Los Angeles, CA
Los Angeles real estate concierge services

I am sitting in a coffee shop laughing like an idiot.  Oops, although after these bloopers I feel quit smart.

Feb 25, 2011 08:33 AM
Dick & Sandy Beals
Wilmington Real Estate 4U Wilmington, NC - Wilmington, NC

Gwen,

Hares on Viagra...you crack me up!  I really think you need to go out there and make some money with this stuff!!

Dick Beals

Feb 25, 2011 11:03 AM
Dick & Sandy Beals
Wilmington Real Estate 4U Wilmington, NC - Wilmington, NC

By the way, I was at that game....poor Buckner will never live that down...and before all the naysayers jump in, I was also at Super Bowl XL11 (42) and I think I saw that catch.

Dick Beals

Feb 25, 2011 11:06 AM
Gary Woltal
Keller Williams Realty - Flower Mound, TX
Assoc. Broker Realtor SFR Dallas Ft. Worth

Gwen you are such the funny wordsmith. WHAT TALENT.

Feb 25, 2011 02:42 PM
Gwen Banta
Sotheby's International Realty - Los Angeles, CA

Jane, even if you are drunk and passed out in a coffee shop in L.A., you're still smarter than 98% of the poopulation! (misspelling intended)

Feb 25, 2011 05:30 PM
Gwen Banta
Sotheby's International Realty - Los Angeles, CA

OMG - you were at that game, Dick? That was a moment I will never forget. Poor Buckner - that's the kind of mistake that follows to the grave. The reality is that few of us have the talent to even participate in such exacting endeavors, but we forget the talent required when an error of that magnitude occurs - it shapes the destiny of so many!

Feb 25, 2011 05:34 PM
Gwen Banta
Sotheby's International Realty - Los Angeles, CA

Thanks, Gary - you made my day!

Feb 25, 2011 05:36 PM
Gwen Banta
Sotheby's International Realty - Los Angeles, CA

Hey, y'all - how come no one is commenting about the photo of my legs? :)

Feb 25, 2011 06:13 PM
Bruce Walter
Keller Williams Realty Lafayette/West Lafayette, Indiana - West Lafayette, IN

Your legs, Gwen?  I thought they were Bill Buckner's!  ^_~

Hey- I looked for you on the red carpet last night, but didn't see you!(not the red carpet covering the bar lounge floor!)

Feb 28, 2011 03:13 PM
Anonymous
Gwen Banta
Bruce, I am one of those things people try to sweep UNDER the carpet!
Feb 28, 2011 03:36 PM
#14
Bruce Walter
Keller Williams Realty Lafayette/West Lafayette, Indiana - West Lafayette, IN

Gwen, thanks for the tip on Naples!  Sharon absolutely loved all those quaint homes, as did I!  I am probably going to have to cut you some slack as I must admit I did love Orange County.  So clean and easy to get around, EXCEPT FOR THE EXPRESSWAYS!  (I do think Chicago is worse at rush hour)

Feb 28, 2011 03:43 PM