Motherhood + Real Estate = A Delicate Balancing Act
I read with great interest the blog post by fellow Active Rain Mom Cathleen O’Hannigan about her struggle of being a successful real estate professional and successful mother to her children. I could totally relate to her trials, because I have walked and sometimes crawled that path as both a real estate broker/owner and real estate instructor as well as a single mom. I started to comment on her post and decided to cut it short and write a complimenting post instead...so here it goes.
My real estate orphan is now 13 years old and I can say that while my career in real estate has been successful and fulfilling, I haven’t always made the right choices and I haven’t always made as much money as I could have. Rewind to new agent training...
I had a trainer who is an amazing man with incredible insight into what it takes to be a successful real estate professional. When I say “successful” please note that success is a personal thing. Each of us has (or should have) our own definition of success, because without it you are nothing more than a ship adrift on the sea of life. One of the life lessons that I was taught and chose not to heed early on was my trainer’s advice to “Make my personal time my own and guard it like a junkyard dog!” I learned through sacrificing my 4 year old son to a non-committal buyer what that phrase truly meant. In short, I promised my young son who loves trains for months that I would go with he and my dad (who died not long after) to the annual train show. Unexpected buyers came to town and I bailed on my son and his PaPa, promising to catch up with them later. The day kept getting drawn out until I missed the entire event. I was able to join them for dinner and had to look into the very sad eyes on my young son and explain myself. The buyers drove over to land I had shown them after we parted, called the listing agent and put the property under contract. Not only had I lost a paycheck, but MORE importantly I lost a day with my son and dad that I could never recapture. It was, in short, HEARTBREAKING!
I learned to never, never, never put my family behind real estate again! I know I have lost sales because I won’t make this sacrifice and some of my competition are overjoyed at this and probably think I am crazy, but I see it this way...One day I will have to give an accounting for my actions and I am pretty sure the Almighty will be more concerned with the time I invested in my son than the number of deals I closed.
I have included my son in my business and he is a real estate orphan no more. There are still people who remember him coming to the office in a stroller or sitting on my lap at a sales meeting. He has shown many a house, walked many acres of land and stood by my side when I took the oath of office as president of our local real estate board.
I worked as an agent for many years and took the leap in 2008 to get my brokers license and strike out on my own. I went through some personal and health issues in 2007 that caused me to again evaluate my balance of mothering and real estate. It was this re-evaluation that led me to back off from a lot of my industry involvement and adopt a business model that works for my family situation.
After opening an office with my mom we came to the conclusion that we wanted to be on our own but that we wanted to operate a smaller business model that included closing our storefront. It has been a blessing. I am now working from a home office and my productivity and business is increasing. I take my son to school every morning and I am able to attend his band functions, tennis tournaments, boy scout events and spend more time helping him with school work. Some might call our attempt at leaving the nest a failure, but I choose to look at it as a learning experience. I learned what I didn’t want and what my family needs.
What does all of this mean? Can one be a successful real estate professional and a successful mother? Some days it may seem that the answer is no, but each woman must look within her heart and determine her definition of success and how functions within the family setting. It may mean not being number one until the kids are off at college. It may mean working from home. It may mean including the kids in the business. It may mean putting certain aspects of your business on hold until the timing works within your family setting.
The one thing I am sure of is my “WHY” in real estate. I was taught many years ago that everyone needs a “WHY” for doing what they do. My “WHY” is named Jordan and everything I do is motivated by his beautiful smile and loving hugs. I only get one shot at being “MOM” and I have the rest of my life to be chairman of this, number one at that and burning the candle at both ends. I have many designations and a lot of alphabet soup behind my name, this is how I look in print...
Jeani Thomas Richie, Broker, Certified Instructor, ACRE, AHWD, AAS, e-PRO, GRI, SFR, SRES, TAHS, TRLP, and soon to be RSPS...
A friend created the designation “MTJ” and added it to my alphabet soup as my best accomplishment...”Mom To Jordan!” I love that. There will always be property to sell...but I only have one shot at being a Mom and this is it!
“She is clothed in strength and dignity, and she laughs without fear of the future. When she speaks, her words are wise, and she gives instructions with kindness. She carefully watches everything in her household and suffers nothing from laziness. Her children stand and bless her, her husband praises her. There are many virtuous and capable women in the world, but you will surpass them all.” Proverbs 31:25-29.
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