To all of the Irish and plastic paddy's out there, here is a collection of Irish drinking toasts, trivia, sayings and jokes. So raise a pint of Guinness to the Irish as you drink to an Irish toast.
Not suprisingly the collection of Irish drinking toasts, trivia, sayings and jokes are extensive so this is the second post in a two part series. The first can be frond here A collection of Irish drinking toasts, trivia, sayings and jokes...First Pint
Slainte!
Irish Drinking Toast
Here’s to a long life and a merry one,
A quick death and an easy one,
A pretty girl and an honest one,
A cold pint, and another one!
Irish Joke
Q. How did the Irish jig get started?
A. Too much drink and not enough restrooms.
Irish Drinking Toast
My friends are the best friends,
Loyal, willing and able.
Now let’s get to drinking,
All glasses off the table!
Irish Joke
Q. Why does it take five Irishmen to change a lightbulb?
A. One to change the bulb and four to remark how grand the old bulb was.
Irish Drinking Toast
There are many good reasons for drinking,
One has just entered my head.
If a man doesn’t drink when he’s living,
How in the hell can he drink when he’s dead?
Irish Trivia
St. Patrick changed Ireland’s national color to green. True or false?
False. During St. Patrick time the color was blue.
Irish Drinking Toast
Saint Patrick was a gentleman, who through strategy and stealth,
Drove all the snakes from Ireland, here’s a drinkee to his health!
But not too many drinkees, lest we lose ourselves and then….
Forget the good Saint Patrick, and see them snakes again!
Irish Joke
Paddy was rather sad after viewing the body of a dead atheist.
“There he was. All dressed up and no place to go”
Irish Drinking Toast
May your glass be ever full,
May the roof over your head be always strong
And may you be in heaven half an hour
Before the Devil knows you’re dead.
Irish Joke
His wife had been killed in an accident and the police were questioning Finnegan, “Did she say anything before she died?” asked the sergeant. “She spoke without interruption for about forty years,” said Finnegan.
Irish Drinking Toast
When we drink, we get drunk.
When we get drunk, we fall asleep.
When we fall asleep, we commit no sin.
When we commit no sin, we go to heaven.
So, let’s all get drunk, and go to heaven!
Irish Trivia
Q. Before baking Irish soda bread, why is a cross traditionally slashed in the top of the loaf?
A. To scare away the devil.
Irish Drinking Toast
Here’s to our wives and girlfriends,
May they never meet!
Irish Trivia
Q. What drink has fewer calories than an equivalent amount of skimmed milk or orange juice?
A. Guinness at 198 calories a pint.
Irish Drinking Toast
May you die in bed at ninety-five years, shot by a jealous husband (or wife).
Irish Trivia
Q. How did the Irish decide where to bury St. Patrick?
A. They put him in a cart, pulled by two untamed oxen. Wherever the oxen stopped was where they buried him.
Irish Drinking Toast
May your troubles be as few and as far apart as my Grandmothers teeth.
Irish Trivia
Which two signers of the American Declaration of independence had Irish mothers?
William Whipple and John Hancock.
Irish Drinking Toast
Here’s to women’s kisses,
And to whiskey, amber clear,
Not as sweet as a woman’s kiss,
But a damn sight more sincere!
Irish Trivia
Q. Why did God invent whiskey?
A. So the Irish would never rule the world.
Irish Drinking Toast
I drink to your health when I’m with you,
I drink to your health when I’m alone,
I drink to your health so often,
I’m starting to worry about my own!
Irish Trivia
Q. Where was the world’s smallest St. Patricks day parade held?
A. In Co. Cork, Ireland at 25 yards long it went from one pub to another.
Irish Drinking Toast
Here’s to being single…
Drinking doubles…
And seeing triple!
Irish Trivia
Q. Approximately what percentage of Irish has red hair?
A. About 4%
Irish Drinking Toast
When money’s tight and hard to get,
And your horse is also ran,
When all you have is a heap of debt,
A pint of plain is your only man.
Irish Trivia
Q. How many letters does the Irish alphabet contain?
A. 18. There is no J, K, Q, v, w, x, y, z.
Irish Drinking Toast
Here’s to a temperance supper
With water in glasses tall,
And coffee and tea to end with,
And me not there at all.
Irish Joke
“Well Paddy, said the doctor. “I can’t quite diagnose your case. I think it must be the drink.” “Sure, that’s all right, doctor,” said Paddy. “I know how you feel. I’ll come back when you’re sober.”
Irish Drinking Toast
When we drink, we get drunk.
When we get drunk, we fall asleep.
When we fall asleep, we commit no sin.
When we commit no sin, we go to heaven.
So, let’s all get drunk, and go to heaven!
Irish saying
“Alcohol may be man’s worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.”
Irish Drinking Toast
Here’s to our wives and girlfriends,
May they never meet!
Irish Joke
An Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman each order a Guinness in a pub. Upon being served, each finds a fly in their beer. Repulsed, the Englishman sends his back. The Scotsman gently flicks the fly out of his mug and begins drinking. The Irishman, carefully lifts the fly up by its wings and screams, “Spit it out! Spit it out!”
Irish Drinking Toast
May you die in bed at ninety-five years, shot by a jealous husband (or wife).
Irish Saying
“Anyone acquainted with Ireland knows that the morning of St. Patrick’s Day consists of the night of the 16th of March flavored strongly with the morning of the 18th.”
Irish Drinking Toast
May your troubles be as few and as far apart as my Grandmothers teeth.
Irish Joke
First Irish Farmer: “Me cow fell down a hole and I had to shoot it”
Second Irish Farmer: “Did you shoot it in the hole?”
First Irish Farmer: “No, in the head.”
Irish Drinking Toast
Here’s to women’s kisses,
And to whiskey, amber clear,
Not as sweet as a woman’s kiss,
But a damn sight more sincere!
Irish Joke
Q. How did the Irish jig get started?
A. Too much drink and not enough restrooms.
Irish Drinking Toast
I drink to your health when I’m with you,
I drink to your health when I’m alone,
I drink to your health so often,
I’m starting to worry about my own!
Irish Saying
“Drink is the curse of the land. It makes you fight with your neighbor. It makes you shoot at your landlord and it makes you miss him.”
Irish Drinking Toast
Here’s to being single…
Drinking doubles…
And seeing triple!
Irish Trivia
Q. Why is Mulgrave Street in Limerick, Ireland also known as Calamity Avenue?
A. It contains 2 hospitals, a prison and a lunatic asylum.
Irish Drinking Toast
When money’s tight and hard to get,
And your horse is also ran,
When all you have is a heap of debt,
A pint of plain is your only man.
Irish Saying
“An Irishman is never drunk as long as he can hold onto one blade of grass to keep from falling off the earth.”
Irish Drinking Toast
Here’s to a long life and a merry one,
A quick death and an easy one,
A pretty girl and an honest one,
A cold pint, and another one!
Irish Joke
Q. What is Irish diplomacy?
A. It’s the ability to tell a man to go to hell, so that he will look forward to the trip.
Irish Drinking Toast
Here’s to a temperance supper
With water in glasses tall,
And coffee and tea to end with,
And me not there at all.
Irish Joke
“Well Paddy, said the doctor. “I can’t quite diagnose your case. I think it must be the drink.” “Sure, that’s all right, doctor,” said Paddy. “I know how you feel. I’ll come back when you’re sober.”
Irish Drinking Toast
When we drink, we get drunk.
When we get drunk, we fall asleep.
When we fall asleep, we commit no sin.
When we commit no sin, we go to heaven.
So, let’s all get drunk, and go to heaven!
Irish saying
“Alcohol may be man’s worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.”
Irish Drinking Toast
Here’s to our wives and girlfriends,
May they never meet!
Irish Joke
An Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman each order a Guinness in a pub. Upon being served, each finds a fly in their beer. Repulsed, the Englishman sends his back. The Scotsman gently flicks the fly out of his mug and begins drinking. The Irishman, carefully lifts the fly up by its wings and screams, “Spit it out! Spit it out!”
Irish Drinking Toast
May you die in bed at ninety-five years, shot by a jealous husband (or wife).
Irish Saying
“Anyone acquainted with Ireland knows that the morning of St. Patrick’s Day consists of the night of the 16th of March flavored strongly with the morning of the 18th.”
Irish Drinking Toast
May your troubles be as few and as far apart as my Grandmothers teeth.
Irish Joke
First Irish Farmer: “Me cow fell down a hole and I had to shoot it”
Second Irish Farmer: “Did you shoot it in the hole?”
First Irish Farmer: “No, in the head.”
Irish Drinking Toast
Here’s to women’s kisses,
And to whiskey, amber clear,
Not as sweet as a woman’s kiss,
But a damn sight more sincere!
Irish Joke
Q. How did the Irish jig get started?
A. Too much drink and not enough restrooms.
Irish Drinking Toast
I drink to your health when I’m with you,
I drink to your health when I’m alone,
I drink to your health so often,
I’m starting to worry about my own!
Irish Saying
“Drink is the curse of the land. It makes you fight with your neighbor. It makes you shoot at your landlord and it makes you miss him.”
Irish Drinking Toast
Here’s to being single…
Drinking doubles…
And seeing triple!
Irish Trivia
Q. Why is Mulgrave Street in Limerick, Ireland also known as Calamity Avenue?
A. It contains 2 hospitals, a prison and a lunatic asylum.
Irish Drinking Toast
When money’s tight and hard to get,
And your horse is also ran,
When all you have is a heap of debt,
A pint of plain is your only man.
Irish Saying
“An Irishman is never drunk as long as he can hold onto one blade of grass to keep from falling off the earth.”
Irish Drinking Toast
Here’s to a long life and a merry one,
A quick death and an easy one,
A pretty girl and an honest one,
A cold pint, and another one!
Irish Joke
Q. What is Irish diplomacy?
A. It’s the ability to tell a man to go to hell, so that he will look forward to the trip.
Irish Drinking Toast
When we drink, we get drunk.
When we get drunk, we fall asleep.
When we fall asleep, we commit no sin.
When we commit no sin, we go to heaven.
So, let’s all get drunk, and go to heaven!
Irish Saying
“Work is the curse of the drinking class.”
Irish Drinking Toast
Here’s to our wives and girlfriends,
May they never meet!
Irish Trivia
What is the ratio of pubs to people in Ireland?
A) 1 per every 100, B) 1 per every 350, C) 1 per every 750, D) 1 per every 1,100
Answer: C) 1 per every 350
Irish Drinking Toast
May you die in bed at ninety-five years, shot by a jealous husband (or wife).
Irish Joke
Two Irish farmers were driving their tractors down the middle of a country road. A car comes around the corner, brakes hard to avoid them, skids, tumbles twice and lands in a field. One farmer says to the other, “It’s just as well we got out of that field.”
Irish Drinking Toast
May your troubles be as few and as far apart as my Grandmothers teeth.
Irish Joke
She followed her husband into the pub. “How can you come in here,” she said, taking a sip of his pint of Guinness, “and drink that awful stuff?” “Now!” he shouted, “And you always said I was out enjoying meself.”
Irish Drinking Toast
Here’s to women’s kisses,
And to whiskey, amber clear,
Not as sweet as a woman’s kiss,
But a damn sight more sincere!
Irish saying
“Alcohol may be man’s worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.”
Irish Drinking Toast
I drink to your health when I’m with you,
I drink to your health when I’m alone,
I drink to your health so often,
I’m starting to worry about my own!
Irish Trivia
Q. What famous ship was built in Ireland?
A. The Titanic
Irish Drinking Toast
Here’s to being single…
Drinking doubles…
And seeing triple!
Irish Joke
“Well Paddy, said the doctor. “I can’t quite diagnose your case. I think it must be the drink.” “Sure, that’s all right, doctor,” said Paddy. “I know how you feel. I’ll come back when you’re sober.”
Irish Drinking Toast
When money’s tight and hard to get,
And your horse is also ran,
When all you have is a heap of debt,
A pint of plain is your only man.
Irish Joke
Two drunks coming home, stumbled up a country road in the dark. “Jazus Paddy, we’ve stumbled into a graveyard and here’s the stone of a man that lived to the age of 103!” “Glory be, Murphy and was it anybody we knew?” “No, twas someone named ‘Miles from Dublin’!”
Irish Drinking Toast
Here’s to a temperance supper
With water in glasses tall,
And coffee and tea to end with,
And me not there at all.
Irish Joke
Paddy was walking through a graveyard when he came across a headstone with the inscription “Here lies a Politian and an honest man”. “Faith now,” exclaimed Paddy, “I wonder how they got the two of them in one grave.”
Irish Drinking Toast
May you die in bed at ninety-five years, shot by a jealous husband (or wife).
Irish Joke
A surgeon and an architect, both English, were joined by an Irish politician, and all fell into arguing as to whose profession was the oldest. Said the surgeon, “Eve was made from Adam’s rib, and that surely was a surgical operation.” Maybe,” said the architect, “but prior to that, order was created out of chaos, and that was an architectural job. “ “Shure now,” interrupted the politician, “but somebody created the chaos first.”
Irish Drinking Toast
May your troubles be as few and as far apart as my Grandmothers teeth.
Irish Trivia
How many people worldwide can claim Irish ancestry?
A) 10 million, B) 20 million, C) 50 million, D) 70 million
Answer: D) 70 million
Irish Drinking Toast
Here’s to women’s kisses,
And to whiskey, amber clear,
Not as sweet as a woman’s kiss,
But a damn sight more sincere!
Irish Joke
Q. Did you hear about the Irish abortion clinic?
A. It has a 12 month waiting list.
Irish Drinking Toast
I drink to your health when I’m with you,
I drink to your health when I’m alone,
I drink to your health so often,
I’m starting to worry about my own!
Irish Saying
“You know when you have Irish blood in you when your mother cries at beer commercials.”
Irish Drinking Toast
Here’s to being single…
Drinking doubles…
And seeing triple!
Irish Saying
“Drink is the curse of the land. It makes you fight with your neighbor. It makes you shoot at your landlord and it makes you miss him.”
Irish Drinking Toast
When money’s tight and hard to get,
And your horse is also ran,
When all you have is a heap of debt,
A pint of plain is your only man.
Irish Trivia
Q. What are the names of the members of the Irish rock band U2?
A. Bono, The Edge, Adam Clayton and Larry Mullen, Jr.
Irish Drinking Toast
Here’s to a temperance supper
With water in glasses tall,
And coffee and tea to end with,
And me not there at all.
Irish Trivia
St. Patrick wasn’t really Irish at all. True or False?
False. His father was Italian, his mom was Scot. He was born in Scotland.
Irish Drinking Toast
Here’s to a long life and a merry one,
A quick death and an easy one,
A pretty girl and an honest one,
A cold pint, and another one!
Irish Joke
“Young man,” said the judge, looking sternly at the defendant. “it’s alcohol and alcohol alone that’s responsible for your present sorry state!” “Jazus, I’m glad to hear you say that,” replied Paddy, with a sigh of relief. “Everybody else says it’s all me own fault!”
Irish Drinking Toast
My friends are the best friends,
Loyal, willing and able.
Now let’s get to drinking,
All glasses off the table!
Irish Trivia
Q. What is traditionally placed beside a person who has died?
A. A candle, a coin and a stiff drink. The candle to give the deceased light,
a coin to pay for the trip and a drink to sustain him while getting there.
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