More Stories from Real Estate Hell... Another Day, Another Dog...

Recently I blogged about a showing experience I had where my prospects  and I were  confronted by a  bad dog who had gotten out of  his crate/cage. Fortunately, that incident ended with no untoward effects. This is my third installment in what is becoming my "Real Estate Hell" serial. It's my second dog story and like the first one it ends well and it also imparts a valuable lesson.  To begin: A number of years ago I was driving  out in the sticks and I passed a FSBO's house and took note of the address and the telephone number on the sign. I noted that the property was a single family home with a pier and beam foundation and it sat on a large two acre lot that had a long chain link fence and a metal gate. I drove back to my office and dashed off a quick CMA. I also went to the Cole's Criss Cross Directory and saw the name of the owner of the home. It was a woman named "Melanie".  I  drove back to the house and parked on the street in front of her house.  I opened the metal gate and walked the hundred feet  up to the house. I mounted the wood steps that led up to the wood deck that was outside her front door.  I was a single man and I mused to myself, "It would be nice if this FSBO was also single and kinda cute".  I stepped up to the front door and gave it a very smart sounding series of raps.  I waited a little bit , but no one was coming to the door. Then, out of the corner of my left eye I saw something.  The largest Rottweiller that had ever been welped crawled out from under the pier and beam foundation and began eyeing me through the railing of the wooden deck I was standing on. He appeared to be all of 200 pounds and he emitted a slow low sounding throaty noise that had definite tones of unfriendliness.  I had ten thoughts simultaneously racing through my head. The central thought was "Dear God in heaven, I'm in a major pickle, what should I do".  If I made a run for it this huge, well muscled  beast might get his "chase instinct" switched on and he'll drag me to the ground and have me for dinner. I was frozen in place and completely petrified. I began to talk to the animal as soothingly as my mellifluous voice could possibly muster.  "Nice boy, good doggie, are you having a lovely day"? That didn't work as the dog's menacing sounds grew louder with every syllable I uttered.  I'm sweating out of every pore in my body. The dog knows he owns me now and he begins a slow stiff legged approach towards me.  Suddenly, I cried out, "MELANIE, ARE YOU HOME"?  The dog cocked it's head to the side in recognition of having heard me say his master's name. It stopped making threatening sounds and it sat down. I tested my dog psychology and followed that up with "MELANIE, I'M HERE"!  The dog now moved from a sitting position to where he was now lying down.  I had gotten inside the dog's pea sized brain by calling out his beloved owner's name. The dog did his own canine "mental compartmentalization"  and had somehow concluded that if I knew Melanie then I was probably more friend than foe.  I moved off the deck and slowly walked backwards, with my front facing the now peacefull beastie. I opened the metal gate, got into my car and drove back home. I had survived a harrowing experience and I was going to live to list and sell yet another day. I never met Melanie and  I decided that I really had no interest in listing her house. However, I did learn some more valuable real estate lessons, 1. Never open the gate to someone's property without first establishing contact with the owner. 2. Don't be an unwitting trespasser onto someone's yard because you have no idea what could await you once you're on a stranger's property. 3. Don't lose your wits no matter how scary or untenable the situation may appear, like recalcitrant real estate clients even mad dogs can be coaxed into being "reasonable"