Children In the Office? I'm For It, If You Can Make It Work.

Looking for advice on getting back into the real estate business after having a child, I stumbled upon a thread on a well known mom's message board. On this thread, a young woman was considering getting her real estate license and asking other moms who were agents how they balanced work and family and if they every had their children at the office or along for appointments.

Several mothers replied that they were, or had been, in real estate, and most either worked from home with their children present at least part-time or took their children to the office with them some or most of the time. There were a few who had childcare arrangements for their office time and showings, but even most of them said they had brought their children to work with them in case of emergencies or last minute obligations.

The one response that surprised me, and in some ways sparked this post, was from an agent who seemed very antagonistic towards mothers who let their children be seen around their business in any circumstance. She seemed rather proud of herself for having a large family and keeping them unseen and unheard by her clients and co-workers, and referred back to an ActiveRain post with "hundreds of comments & 95% agreeing that bringing your children to work in unprofessional". Looking up her name, I found the post she referred to (which only had 55 comments aside from her own, with about 30% agreeing that we should never bring children to work). What shocked me was the amount of vitriol directed by this woman at anyone who would dare bring their child to an office or appointment or who would consider starting a career without the luxury of a trusted an affordable childcare provider already in place.

Her response to those who mentioned the expense or hassle of child care was that they should find a way to pay for it, get a 9-5 job, or just find someone they could drop the children off with on short notice. If you are a single mom, or do not live near family who are able and willing to care for your children, then you will know how hard that can be in the real world. With the tough economy and dramatic drop in real estate business for many of us, I would expect that there are a lot of agents right now who have trouble justifying the expense of a full-time daycare or nanny, or who simply prefer to have their children with them since they now how more time during the day.

This attitude also overlooks how hard it is to find someone trustworthy to take care of your children while you are away. In the past months, a nearby daycare was shut down when police found a meth lab operating there, several were closed or investigated for sexual abuse, and friends have pulled two children from care because of health concerns (one's daughter was taken to the emergency room and she was not contact, another's son needed surgery because a daycare worked ripped his foreskin during a diaper change because she disregarded the instructions on how to care for an intact boy). Even without things like this in the news, some of us look at the statistics that say 1 on 4 girls and 1 in 5 boys will be sexually abused during childhood and choose not to leave our children with people we don't know or trust.

While some people still argue that having children at work in not professional, maybe this is an aspect of business culture that needs changing. As women gain even more of a share in the economy and workforce, and seek to balance their families and careers, I think that all sorts of companies will find room in their "culture" for employees who chose to keep their children with them and still display professionalism and competence at work. With several government offices now allowing children at work, and groups such at Babies At Work advocating for more baby- and child-friendly workplaces in all industries, it seems like a great time to change the culture that says work and family should always be kept separate. About 29% of US companies now allow children or babies at work with their parents, and 38% of companies will make an exception and allow children in case of an emergency.

I do think that bringing your child to work calls for balance, and that you must keep the wants and needs of your clients and co-workers in mind. This may not work as well in an open office or cubicle environment, where there is little room and noise and distractions carry, but a private office or a shared office with another mom can work out great. At my first company, there were 2 moms who shared an office with a play area they had set up for their children - they both had their children at work during the day, and were able to trade babysitting duties most of the time for client meetings, showings, and other appointments.

In a company where most agents are not so family-friendly, or find a child to be a distraction, then it may be better for an agent who plans to bring their child to work often to either work from home on those days or find another office where her fellow agents will not be offended or distracted by it.

This also all depends on the child's behavior and stage of life. Most people really wouldn't mind a sleeping baby or a child who colors of plays quietly in a corner or at a side desk but, when you mention children in an office, the picture that comes to mind for many people is a horde of yelling, crying brats running amok and touching everything. If your child cries a lot, throws tantrums, or is generally loud, then you shouldn't try to have them at the office or with clients until those behaviors have passed or are under control.

If you can work with your child on being quiet and respecting other people's space and possessions (don't touch and don't go into other offices or cubicles), and can focus on both work and your child's needs, then I totally support bringing them along. Just be sure you're not alienating clients or upsetting your co-workers by doing so. For keeping your children "with" you, a baby sling or wrap or pack type carrier is great for babies and toddlers, as is a playpen or gated off play area in your office. For slightly older children, as horrible as they look, those baby "leash"/tether things may be just what you need if you plan to take them along on a showing or preview. (But not a Broker's open! - Seriously, want to get some evil looks? Show up at a broker's open house with kids in tow and let them graze the refreshment table like a buffet while several other agents are there trying to look around.)

Also keep in mind that you need to know your child's triggers, and be willing to adjust for them or even go home if something's not working. If they are sick, teething, or cranky, it would be a good day to find a sitter or ask your spouse or a trusted sitter to watch them. In the same vein, if you know they will be cranky if they miss their 2pm nap, or do not have a snack at a certain time, then mark their schedule on your calendar and make sure your needs are met so you don't deal with a "meltdown" from a tired, hungry, child. (I've found that nap time makes a great window of quiet time to return calls and do prospecting by telephone.