Today I decided that a size two is for the toddler section; that there's no such thing as a good hair day; that my husband should limit his vocabulary to “I’m sorry, and you were right;” that I should charge the personalities that moved inside of me rent; that they should have told me about Lorazepam when my kids were young; that napping is important even after 50; that cellulite must be good for something and when they figure out what it’s good for I’m going to sell mine.
Today I also decided that I really don’t care, and then I do, and then I don’t and then I do….I’m confused about it too; that I should get paid to be a case study because surely this isn’t normal; that I understand if you don’t remember my name, I don’t remember yours either; that I shouldn’t be held responsible for what I say…I don’t know where it came from either.
And finally, today I decided that I need an assistant to find my keys, my cell phone and point out the glasses that are sitting on top of my head; that I’d rather have man parts, I think; that Snickers is part of the food group; that exercise is something to enjoy when other people are doing it; that if it doesn’t get any better it’s okay because I won’t remember it anyway; that I’m tired and yes, I’m going to take another nap! I'll be sure to do so after reading this.
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