Talk To The Hand... I'm Not Listening!

Real Estate Broker/Owner with Grants Pass, OR 199909023

Talk To The Hand... I'm Not Listening!Talk To The Hand... I'm Not Listening!  I'm certain we've all been in situations where we tried making a point to someone and we felt like we were talking to the hand.  Silence is a form of communication, but many 'salespeople' often miss the signals.  Not this gal.

In anticipation of a difficult negotiation, and knowing I would most likely be talking to the hand, I examined (ahead of time) what my response would be to such resistance.  I considered (ahead of time) how badly I wanted to make the deal happen.  I weighed (ahead of time) my losses.  I was clearly prepared to face the hand.

Mental preparedness is critical in any negotiation.  Asking yourself the 'what-ifs' (ahead of time) is the crux to being prepared.  Being able to read the signs of communication are also important.  Yacking your lips, when someone isn't listening, is like casting wisdom to the wind... unless you're clearly not saying anything of value.  Then, silence is golden (and speaks volumes).

Yesterday, I walked away from the hand (knowing ahead of time) that I was going to say the following:   'I respect your decision and thank you!'  There was no whining, no wrangling, no blabbering... just a simple answer to the hand and it felt good.  Knowing who you are, and what you bring to the table is invaluable.  Knowing it (ahead of time) is priceless!

Posted by

Melinda Peterson


Melinda Peterson ~ Oregon Principal Broker


Real Estate Cafe LLC


Serving Central & Southern Oregon

Inspired by her love for lattes and real estate, Mel writes from the heart with the goal of creating relationships of land and life, with a latte laughter =)





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Comments (14)

Ron and Alexandra Seigel
Napa Consultants - Carpinteria, CA
Luxury Real Estate Branding, Marketing & Strategy


Very interesting post, I had not heard of the expression of "talk to the hand".  Thanks for sharing this with us. A

Apr 29, 2011 06:30 AM
Wanda Kubat-Nerdin - Wanda Can!
Red Rock Real Estate - St. George, UT
So Utah Residential, Referral & Relocation REALTOR

I love it Melinda! The other side was probably left with their mouth 'what just happened?!'

Apr 29, 2011 06:49 AM
Victor Zuniga
Berkshire Hathaway Home Services California Properties - San Diego, CA

Being prepared and emotionally detached are two key factors in being able to be a good negotiator. Sometimes silence is the most powerful thing you can exercise.

Apr 29, 2011 07:08 AM
Jane Peters
Home Jane Realty - Los Angeles, CA
Los Angeles real estate concierge services

It takes guts to wLk away from a deal.  But it is such a time waster trying to get a wall to listen

Apr 29, 2011 09:04 AM
Melinda (Mel) Peterson
Grants Pass, OR - Bend, OR
The Blessed Realtor - ABR, CRS

Ron & Alexandra ~ Perhaps I'm keenly aware of the phrase from the 90's, as I had teenagers during that era!

Thanks Wanda... the response was definitely one of surprise!

Ditto Victor ~ Being silent can be a powerful and useful tool on both sides.

Jane ~ Guts... something we could all use a little more of my dear ;)

Apr 29, 2011 09:51 AM
Brian L. Sirota, Esq.
Bristar Realty (Realtor/Attorney) - Orange, CA
For Solutions: (714) 501-7660

Melinda, I've told you too many times, keep your hand out of the paint!

Brian L. Sirota, Esq., Broker/Attorney, BriStar Realty, Orange County, California

Apr 29, 2011 10:22 AM
Cynthia Larsen
Cotati, CA
Independent Broker In Sonoma County, CA

It certainly helps to be prepared! I know exactly what it is like talking to a brick wall. I'm going to steal your line if you don't mind :)

Apr 29, 2011 10:23 AM
Todd Clark
eXp Realty LLC - Tigard, OR
Principle Broker Oregon

There is nothing like being on the phone with someone during a negotiation and feeling like they have hit your mute button for you.

Apr 29, 2011 07:16 PM
Melinda (Mel) Peterson
Grants Pass, OR - Bend, OR
The Blessed Realtor - ABR, CRS

Can't help it Brian... married to a painter!

Steal away Cynthia

Ha!  Who's that little cutie Todd?

Apr 30, 2011 06:14 AM
Mary Stewart
HomeTrust Real Estate, LLC, Homes for Everyone - Wilsonville, OR
Wilsonville and Surrounding Portland Metro Areas

Good post and so very true.  Not easy to walk away but sometimes it is the best thing.  I would have liked to see the expression on their face. 

Apr 30, 2011 07:02 AM
Don Sabinske
Don Sabinske, Sabinske & Associates Inc. - Zimmerman, MN
Sabinske & Associates Inc.

When I run up against it, being a Type A, I usually try an end run.  But, when I encounter CRAZY, I just walk away. 

Apr 30, 2011 11:32 AM
Rose King
David Tracy Real Estate - Friendswood, TX
Friendswood / Pearland / Houston Bay Area

Great advice, Melinda. Being prepared with an answer when you know what is coming is a good feeling.

Apr 30, 2011 12:41 PM
Jim Hale
Eugene Oregon's Best Home Search Website

The only truly strong bargaining position is the one in which you can walk away.

Hand or no hand.

Applause or no applause.

May 01, 2011 09:53 AM
Todd Clark
eXp Realty LLC - Tigard, OR
Principle Broker Oregon

She is a friend of my daughter and I have been looking for almost a year for a chance to use that photo. Just never have found the time or words to put with it, you did, so thanks!

May 01, 2011 05:17 PM

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