My wife's mom is not doing very well. At 82 she is on life support and not expected to recover. My wife and her sisters have a "do not resuscitate" thing going on.
It's one thing to lose my mother-in-law. But now I have to accept the fact that I'm the oldest in the clan. I'm not comfortable with the label nor am I sure that I want to carry that torch.
Why am I feeling this way?
Hi Larry, you are honored to be the oldest in the clan. Be happy and don't worry.
Larry, that's part of the secret of life. When I was a kid, I was the youngest of about 30 cousins (yeah, my parents were part of big families). I hated it and got kidded all the time. Now I am still the youngest of that group (they are all 62 or older) and I am very comfortable with the thought.
When I moved to San Francisco, for some reason most of the friends I made were older than me. That was more than 20 years ago. Things change, and now I am the oldest of all my friends - by many years. Somehow though I am comfortable with it now.
I am so sorry to hear about your Mother-in-law. My Mom just turned 85 today, a milestone that her doctors did not expect her to reach--especially last October when she spent three weeks in ICU with a respirator, tracheotomy, and a feeding tube. She is tube-free now, except for oxygen, and is back in the nursing home that she likes most of the time.
My sister and I took her out on Saturday to celebrate Mother's Day with a pedicure/manicure treatment, one of Mom's favorite ways to be pampered. My brother and his wife took Mom out today to eat at a Mexican Restaurant, where they serenaded her with all the works including a sombrero.
Chin up, Larry! The doctors can be wrong. I hope that is true for your Mother-in-law.
When you do become the "oldest," just know that the sadness and fear you feel really comes from the fact that you miss those who have gone before. Store up some memories of them now to help you then.
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