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Spread the Stupidity

By
Home Inspector with ACSI American Construction Specialists & Investigations

Only in   America ......do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy Bush Confusedpeople can buy cigarettes at the front.

 

Only in America can you have a first mortgage, A second Mortgage, a line of credit, and call yourself a HOMEOWNER

 

Only in   America .....do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke.


Only in   America ......do banks leave vault doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.

 

Only in   America ......do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.


Only in   America ..........do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight..
 
Only in   America .....do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.


EVER WONDER ....

Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?


Why can't women   put on mascara with their mouth closed?


Why don't you ever see the headline 'Psychic Wins Lottery'?


Why is 'abbreviated' such a long word?


Why is it that doctors call what they do 'practice'?


Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?


Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?


Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?


Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?


Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?
 
Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?

 

You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?!


Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?


Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?

 
If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?


If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?

Comments (12)

Larry Bergstrom
Crescent Realty, Inc. Spanaway, WA. - Spanaway, WA
CNE, CRS, GRI

Wow. Some heaving thinking going on there.  Fun.

May 19, 2011 02:44 PM
Ted Tyrrell
RE/MAXCamosun (Chatterton) - Victoria, BC
Selling Homes in Beautiful Victoria

Scott, some very funny stuff here. I like the Noah question.

May 19, 2011 03:06 PM
William Feela
WHISPERING PINES REALTY - North Branch, MN
Realtor, Whispering Pines Realty 651-674-5999 No.

Only in America!!!!  Thanks for the smiles.  My heart needed it

May 19, 2011 03:08 PM
Lorna Presswood
Elite Texas Properties - Galveston, TX

Thanks for the fun. Great post; makes you think!

May 19, 2011 03:09 PM
Scott Warga
ACSI American Construction Specialists & Investigations - Gilbert, AZ

I thought there were people becides myself that would enjoy these. Thanks for your comments.

May 19, 2011 03:30 PM
Jennifer Green
Keller Williams Realty Phoenix - Gilbert, AZ

Things that make you go HMMM :)

May 19, 2011 04:31 PM
Mykel Martin
(909) 476-9600 ~ WeLoveSellingRealEstate.com - Rancho Cucamonga, CA
Realty Masters & Associates

Hee - too funny! And I can (almost) close my mouth when I put on mascara. :-P

May 19, 2011 05:31 PM
Scott Warga
ACSI American Construction Specialists & Investigations - Gilbert, AZ

Jennifer, Thanks for stopping by.

Mykel, Come on, Tell the truth, you went and looked in the mirror to see if you open your mouth, didn't you.

May 19, 2011 06:03 PM
Scott Warga
ACSI American Construction Specialists & Investigations - Gilbert, AZ

Here is another one,

Why to people try to get the parking spot closest to the door when they drive to the gym?

May 19, 2011 06:04 PM
Lorraine Sayer
Monument, Black Forest, Falcon, Fountain homes - Colorado Springs, CO
Realtor ABR,CDPE,GRI - Colorado Springs,CO RE/MAX

Only in America........would a town elect a cat for mayor.  Welcome to Guffy Colorado! 

May 19, 2011 09:24 PM
Wayne Martin
Wayne M Martin - Chicago, IL
Real Estate Broker - Retired

Not only in America, it just what we focus on! Like your comment on the drug store. The sick have to walk while the healthy are saved the journey and can buy cigarettes conveniently to get sick sometime later. Enjoy the day!

May 20, 2011 12:37 AM
Team Honeycutt
Allen Tate - Concord, NC

Oh My goodness. It seems as though you have been keeping a list. Nice list! ( J )

 

May 20, 2011 04:15 AM