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Try A Little SOFTNESS With Those Hard People

By Gary Woltal

Real Estate Agent with Keller Williams Realty 0575737

May 21, 2011 09:13 AM

Sometimes you do run into these crabby, grouchy people in life who are sharp with you. Lord knows, don't we all have those days ourselves? We need a good technique of trying to turn that around. I'm not talking about being nice to evil people. Just the ones that have crappy days and their being irritable is taken out on us from the inside out.

Try A Little SOFTNESS With Those Hard People.

Bite your tongue, do something nice for them, do not retaliate back mean for mean. It may be natural but take the OPPOSITE approach. Be SOFT.

This photo was an Egyptian lady coming up to an Egyptian policeman during their recent riots. Looks like she got this lesson inside her naturally to be extra nice to the tough 'bad' guy policeman. Hey with Egypt it looks like it is turning out ok. Maybe this woman was the reason. There was truly not a spirit of hate.

Don't knock it till you try it. The world needs love, MORE LOVE.

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Sharon Lee

Sharon Lee's Virtual Assistance - Jonesborough, TN

Retired and loving life

Gary-We all need someone to show us kindness and softness. Sometimes I think the hard edged folks need it most of all. The softness helps with the sensitive ones as well.

May 21, 2011 09:35 AM

Mary Douglas

United Country Ponderosa Realty, Red Feather Lakes, Colorado - Red Feather Lakes, CO

REALTOR, Red Feather Lakes, Colorado

Yes it does Gary, more love, even just "hello" and a short conversation with a stranger, a compliment or a smile can turn someone's day around.

May 21, 2011 09:43 AM

Bina Yajnik

Watson Realty Corp. Palm Coast, FL - Palm Coast, FL

As it is said, more muscles are used to frown & it does not cost you a penny to smile or say a kind word to someone.........just try this & you will feel good about yourself!!!

May 21, 2011 09:54 AM

Wanda Kubat-Nerdin - Wanda Can!

Red Rock Real Estate (435) 632-9374 - St. George, UT

St. George Utah Area Residential Sales Agent

Gary, The last time I asked someone if they were having a bad day due to their abruptness and scowl said NO! I thought how sad and this was a young person. If I am having a particular bad day...I stay home (if I can) or get to work and buck up!

May 21, 2011 10:17 AM

San Antonio Texas New Homes for Sale

www.sanantoniotexasnewhomesforsale.com - San Antonio, TX

Berkshire Hathaway HomeServices Hill Country

Gary ...You are right ...Some times a person has a bad day !!!

May 21, 2011 10:44 AM

Kathy Schowe

California Lifestyle Realty - La Quinta, CA

La Quinta, California 760-333-8886

Love this! Kind of like when the kids on GLEE... were sweet to Sue when her sister died!

May 21, 2011 11:37 AM

Gayle Rich-Boxman Fishhawk Lake Real Estate

John L Scott Market Center - Birkenfeld, OR

"Your Local Expert!" 503-739-3843

Gary, I just love your take on things. And your photos always say it all. I'm proud to know you in the Rain. I am now kissing you on the virtual cheek!!!

May 21, 2011 01:30 PM

Gary Woltal

Keller Williams Realty - Flower Mound, TX

Assoc. Broker Realtor SFR Dallas Ft. Worth

Sondra: You know that is a good point where that lady could be his mother, but the caption on the news article just said an Egyptian woman so I think she was not related.

Elizabeth: I know in my own case that is true too. I am always the hardest on me.

Sharon: The hard edged ones do need it the most, as everyone naturally avoids them.

Mary: Those small little acts of kindness do matter, and I know when we feel them it does give us a lift even if we ourselves are in a foul mood.

Bina: I remember that with less muscles making it easier to smile than frown. Save energy, huh?

Wanda: Almost like ourselves having the flu, get away from everyone else and don't spread the negativity. We'll come out of it eventually. I have heard some people say don't call me, I am grouchy today.

Robert: Hopefully more better days than bad ones.

Kathy: People going through grief people let up on their crabbiness around you for sure.

Gayle: Thanks for the virtual one... makes anyone feel great!!

May 21, 2011 01:39 PM

Gail Robinson

William Raveis Real Estate - Southport, CT

CRS, GRI, e-PRO Fairfield County, CT

Gary - I sometimes work with clients who other people think are too tough or crusty. I've found that sometimes if you just ignore the way they say something and focus on the message, you can begin to work from a place where you have respect for one another and then sometimes it develops into true affection and friendship. I wouldn't say I'm ever soft, but I'm level and calm and don't react to the WAY the message is delivered. Over time trust is created.

May 21, 2011 01:53 PM

William Feela

WHISPERING PINES REALTY - North Branch, MN

Realtor, Whispering Pines Realty 651-674-5999 No.

Gary, Why are so many of the grouchy people in the customer service area. lol

May 21, 2011 01:54 PM

Gary Woltal

Keller Williams Realty - Flower Mound, TX

Assoc. Broker Realtor SFR Dallas Ft. Worth

Gail: That is very insightful. Focus on the message and try best you can to tune out the tone.

William: I think in customer service they get the brunt of bad customer reactions and it snowballs into THEM developing an edge or poor attitude. That is not an easy role customer service.

May 21, 2011 01:57 PM

Suzanne McLaughlin

Sabinske & Associates, Inc. (Albertville, St. Michael) - Saint Michael, MN

Sabinske & Associates, Realtor

Gary, great picture to go with a smart post. Killing some people with kindness, i.e., softness, has worked wonders for me in the past.

May 21, 2011 02:17 PM

Gary Woltal

Keller Williams Realty - Flower Mound, TX

Assoc. Broker Realtor SFR Dallas Ft. Worth

Suzanne: Kindness is always a good thing to pass back to other people, grumpy, crabby or however they are doing. They will be surprised by your niceness.

May 21, 2011 02:33 PM

Tammy Lankford,

Lane Realty Eatonton, GA Lake Sinclair, Milledgeville, 706-485-9668 - Eatonton, GA

Broker GA Lake Sinclair/Eatonton/Milledgeville

Somes I do that Gary. Other times I fail, In fact a few hours ago I failed. I ran up on a really rude person and while I wasn't rude back (in was the customer) I didn't smile or be nice. I suppose reading your blog post has pointed out my lost opportunity and will make me think about it next time.

May 21, 2011 03:31 PM

Lizette Fitzpatrick

Lizette Realty - Richmond KY - Lexington, KY

Lizette Realty, Lexington KY MLS - Kentucky Homes

I just had this happen this past week with two people. I didn't give them meaness back, but they shouldn't mistake my kindness for weakness.

May 21, 2011 03:44 PM

Vickie Slade

Colorado Landmark, Realtors - Boulder, CO

Service You Can Trust ~ Someone You Can Depend On

Gary, it is amazing how just a little kindness goes such a long way. Even when we are tempted by our ego's to respond to rudeness with rudeness....... if we can just step back....take a deep breath and respond with kindness instead..... the outcome can be so different and so much more positive.

May 21, 2011 04:56 PM

Gita Bantwal

RE/MAX Centre Realtors - Warwick, PA

REALTOR,ABR,CRS,SRES,GRI - Bucks County & Philadel

Gary, This is great advice. Good post. have a good weekend.

May 21, 2011 11:49 PM

Cara Marcelle Mancuso

Golden Girls with SW Desert Homes - Tucson, AZ

Call a Marana neighbor, I'm THERE!

Wow - a picture says a thousand words. Great post, great reminder, great start to my week. Thanks Gary.

May 22, 2011 07:22 AM

Brigita McKelvie, Associate Broker

Cindy Stys Equestrian and Country Properties, Ltd. - Lehigh Valley, PA

The Broker with horse sense and no horsing around

Gary,

I couldn't agree with you more. As the saying goes: "Kill them with kindness."

Great post!

Brigita

May 23, 2011 05:44 AM

Eileen Hsu

Douglas Elliman Real Estate - Manhattan, NY

LICENSED REAL ESTATE SALESPERSON

Oh Gary, this is so easy to say and hard to do especially for a gal like myself lives in the Urban jungle Manhattan New York. Maybe this Summer I will try to love more... no promises since I am in the battle field all the time.

May 26, 2011 04:45 PM