Take 5 Minutes to Do This

By
Real Estate Broker/Owner with Austin Texas Homes, LLC 453249
https://activerain.com/droplet/cN9

I lost two more friends to cancer recently. One of them was a hilarious girl I knew in college. She was 42 years old, and she had a phenomenally good attitude about her illness. The other was a friend I made originally on Twitter, then through a number of phone calls. She was also a guest on my radio show, and she wanted me to go into business with her at one point. She was funny, creative, and interesting. She was 59.

One of the downfalls to knowing and caring about a lot of people is the fact that you also get to experience a lot more loss than the average person. I know thousands of people, and I have hundreds of friends. I'm not tooting my own horn - it's simply true. I consider it a huge blessing, and I wouldn't have it any other way. I am energized by people. My wife tells me that this is the very definition of an extrovert. I have no doubt that this is the case.

So, since we all know that we can't predict the future, and our lives are delicate, why don't we take more time to let people know how we feel about them?

If you love someone, tell him/her. Do it right now. I've never been shy about expressing my feelings toward my family or even my close friends. I don't want there to be any doubts about this, should I die unexpectedly.

"I love you" is a powerful phrase, especially when it's sincere.

"I appreciate your friendship" is another meaningful thing to say, and I guarantee that it will be memorable to the recipient.

I had a friend that passed away three years ago who used to call me JUST to encourage me. No agenda. He didn't want anything in return. He just wanted to be my friend.

Do that.

Be a friend. A real friend, not a friend who expects reciprocation. Ironically, we probably each communicate with more people than ever before, but it's often on a more shallow scale than it used to be.

Have you called anyone lately to tell them how much you appreciate/love/respect/care about them? Why not? Are you concerned about making yourself vulnerable?

I've tried to make it a point to do this more often, and it's very liberating. The saying, "pay it forward" is more than a little trite, I suppose, but it's the quickest way to explain what I'm suggesting.

Take five minutes and call someone you know and like and just say something nice or tell a friend you were thinking of them. Do it daily. This isn't even completely altruistic, because it will make you feel better, too.

If you need some practice, call me. I promise it will be a good time for all involved. :) 

Thanks for reading!

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If you're looking for a home in the Austin area, you can also visit my primary website at www.austintexashomes.com.  Thanks!

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Re-Blogged 4 times:

Re-Blogged By Re-Blogged At
  1. Sharon Lee 06/22/2011 10:53 AM
  2. Susan Emo 06/22/2011 10:59 AM
  3. Elayna Fernandez 06/22/2011 03:24 PM
  4. Andrea Hafner Lynn 06/23/2011 03:54 AM
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Jason Sardi
Auto & Home & Life Insurance throughout North Carolina - Charlotte, NC
Your Agent for Life

Crouch - As far as underlying messages are concerned, Stewart is probably right.  This post/mentality fits the bill.

I must apologize.  I was personally so busy going back and forth with who I was reading or not reading that I forgot who I like to read.  And you, Mr. Crouch, I like to read.  For your loss, I'm sorry.  For the wisdom of this post, I like the chord that was struck.

It struck in me as well.

And I truly believe you are as sincere as they come.  Anybody who can claim you as a friend is probably a pretty lucky person.  This Big World is most definitely better off because you were in it.  I'm glad you are in it and I'm especially glad I get to learn from a heart and soul such as yours.

Jun 23, 2011 04:40 PM #78
Rainer
127,411
Cristina Salcedo
REMAX Champions - Riverside, CA
Corona, Riverside Realtor

Jason, thank you for the inspiration.  One of my sisters just had breast surgery last week so your post hit home for me.  I am very sorry for your loss!

Jun 23, 2011 07:46 PM #79
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Charita Cadenhead
eXp Realty - Birmingham, AL
Serving Jefferson and Shelby Counties (Alabama)

Jason like I said when I responded to your comment on my post:  had I read this first, I probably would not have written my post.  It's chilling that I made that statement even before reading this.  I saw the title of this post the other day and I kept meaning to read it but I never got around to it.

I am very sorry for the loss of your friends. Sometimes we take far to much for granted.  I can appreciate and respect your positive attitude that is reflected by your actions.

Charita

Jun 24, 2011 01:08 AM #80
Ambassador
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1~Judi Barrett
Integrity Real Estate Services 118 SE AVE N, Idabel, OK 74745 - Idabel, OK
BS Ed, Integrity Real Estate Services -IDABEL OK

Jason,

Sorry about your friends...  you are right, when we know a lot of people, we will experience those losses more.  BUT we also experience more joys.

I actually make it a habit daily to let people know that I value them in my life.

Whether it's a phone call, an email, a text, or face to face.. good habit. 

 

Jun 24, 2011 01:13 AM #81
Rainmaker
413,927
Robin Scott
Robin Scott, REALTOR® - Austin, TX
Broker, CRS, ABR, SRS, REALTOR® - Austin Texas

Jason, I'm so sorry for your loss. What a great reminder to stay in touch with important people in your life and feelings toward them. Whenever I say goodbye to my kids I always say "I love you" because you never know what can happen and if something happened to me, I'd want that to be the last thing they heard from me.

Jun 24, 2011 04:18 AM #82
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Tammy Emineth
Personal SEO - Website SEO and Real Estate Marketing - Marysville, WA
Content Marketer, SEO Teacher, Website Fixer

I DO want my friends and family to know how special they are to me and that I truly appreciate them. I know I say it a lot but it's probably not enough. Thank you for this reminder. We just never know. I try to never get in a bad fight with my husband. I am so blessed to have him and never know when I may kiss him for the last time or vice versa. I treasure every moment.

Thanks.

Jun 24, 2011 09:30 AM #83
Rainer
13,434
Gwen Kimbrell
Nextage Realty Professionals - Scottsdale, AZ
Scottsdale Real Estate Group

I'm sorry for your loss, Jason.  Thank you for reminding us of how precious each day is.  We should never miss an opportunity to let our friends and family know how much they mean to us.  Such excellent advice - thank you.

Jun 24, 2011 02:52 PM #84
Rainer
248,050
Gerard Gilbers
Higher Authority Markeing - Asheboro, NC
Your Marketing Master

Jason, sorry to hear about your friends. As we get older we lose more of our friends and relatives and seem to appreciate people in our lives more. Why do we wait? We are not promised our next breath - don't wait until later to say something.

Jun 24, 2011 05:02 PM #85
Rainmaker
220,026
Judy Orr
HomeSmart Realty Group - Orland Park, IL
SW & Near West Chicago suburbs

I was diagnosed with cancer this past February.  I have had surgery and hopefully they got everything and I am having radiation just to make sure and to give me a small boost against recurrence, as my cancer is highly recurring.  I had people call me that I didn't even consider actual friends, just acquaintances.  It really helped me and made a huge difference.  

But I understand what you are saying - don't wait for people to get sick - just do it!  Easier said than done in our bustling lives, but a good thing to try to do.

Jun 25, 2011 05:16 AM #86
Rainmaker
292,493
Rebekah Radice
Imagine WOW! Digital Marketing Agency - Burbank, CA
Social Media Marketing, Coaching & Training

I am so sorry for your loss Jason!  I wrote an article on Father's Day about the loss of my grandfather, a man I deeply loved but never really told how much he meant to me.  I am now committed to taking the time to say I love you to those most important to me and make sue I never miss that opportunity again.  Thank you for your vulnerabilty in sharing something so intimate.

Jun 25, 2011 01:53 PM #87
Ambassador
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Jason Crouch
Austin Texas Homes, LLC - Austin, TX
Broker - Austin Texas Real Estate (512-796-7653)

Rebekah - You might be interested in reading this post that I wrote a couple of years ago about my grandfather. He's been gone since 1999, and I still miss him sometimes.

What makes a man a real man? Lessons from my Grandpa

Jun 25, 2011 02:16 PM #88
Rainer
145,266
Jamie King
Hoty Enterprises, Inc. - Huron, OH
Sandusky, OH

Great recommendations! Thanks for sharing this.

Jun 28, 2011 03:03 AM #89
Rainmaker
159,361
Suzanne Gantner
Sky Realty, Central Texas Real Estate - Round Rock, TX
GRI, E-Pro, SRES, SRS, ABR

I totally agree with you, it is a must do to the people you love - tell them!!  A friend of mine buried her mother this past weekend, she had been ill for about 8 weeks. I always tell this friend that I love her (and I do) at the end of our phone calls or texts.  She shared with me something that I (after 38 years) didn't know about her.  She stated that in her home, growing up, that her parents didn't really say "I love you" much.  They knew they were loved but they didn't express it verbally.  My friend is learning to say it herself more now because she realizes how much it needs to be said. 

Jun 29, 2011 05:21 AM #90
Rainmaker
154,633
Ginny Lee
Americas Best Agents, Inc/Premiere Plus Realty, Inc - Naples, FL
CRS, Realtor, CDPE & ASP,Americas Best Agent,Naple

I too have lost a lot of friends and realitives and it is so sad....what helps me is that I say I love you to everyone because we should love everyone....that is what life is about....Love!

I love your post because it reminds everyone how precious life is.

I keep seeing my relatives and friend in Heaven having parties and I know we will all party together in Heaven again!

Amen

Jun 30, 2011 02:15 AM #91
Rainmaker
888,327
J. Philip Faranda
J. Philip Faranda (J. Philip R.E. LLC) Westchester County NY - Briarcliff Manor, NY
Broker-Owner

Jason, thanks for this. Cancer sucks. It has decimated my family (father, brother, another in remission, cousin) and I have learned to appreciate what I have because of that hard lesson. 

Jul 01, 2011 04:29 AM #92
Rainmaker
1,267,934
Alan Kirkpatrick
Austin Texas Homes - Round Rock, TX
Alan in Austin

Jason:

Great post. Hope you are doing well. Have a great week.

Jul 06, 2011 04:08 AM #93
Rainmaker
484,552
Trey Thurmond
BCR Realtors - College Station, TX
College Station , Texas Homes

Jason

We lost mom in March after 3 decades of cancer. She was such a hero to us. She never gave up. Sorry I haven't communicated with you much lately. I remember the Rain Member gathering where we had the little auction for your dear friend's family. I won't forget it.

Jul 06, 2011 05:30 AM #94
Ambassador
1,296,336
Jason Crouch
Austin Texas Homes, LLC - Austin, TX
Broker - Austin Texas Real Estate (512-796-7653)

Trey - I'm sorry to hear about your mom. I would love to chat with you sometime. Long time no talk.  :) I also won't ever forget the kindness showed to me and my friend's family on that day in Bandera.

Jul 06, 2011 05:00 PM #95
Rainer
134,479
Jean Singleton
Capital Realty Experts - Rexford, NY
Specializing in Your Special Needs

Jason, This was a great post.  We lost 3 of our church members to cancer in the past year.  It has been very life-altering to go through so much grieving, once after another.  I spent this afternoon talking to my husband about what we'd do differently if we knew it was "our time" to go soon. I know I always try to tell people how much I care about them.  Thanks for the reminder.

Jul 25, 2011 11:49 AM #96
Rainer
135,682
Matt Robinson
Professional Investors Guild - Pensacola, FL
www.professionalinvestorsguild.com
Such a great post Jason. I lost my dad to cancer this year, and I'm so thankful that in the latter years of his life I wasn't afraid to tell him how I felt. He never told me he loved me until I was 18, leaving for college, and in my mid-20's we had a silly spat that kept is from speaking to each other for almost 4 years. We reconciled, and in the last few years of his life, we told each other "I love you" more times than I can count. As he was rolled in for surgery on his tumor, I squeezed his hand, looked in his eyes, and said one more time, "I love you, dad...I really do." He smiled as they pushed him through the door to the operating room...he wouldn't live to see the next day. Since that day, I've done my best to make sure my wife, friends, and 4 kids know exactly how I feel about them...though I'm sure I could do better...especially with friends, who I'm probably less emotional with. Thanks for the reminder, I will take it to heart, and do my best to be a better friend in 2012, and make sure my love is expressed in words, not just thoughts.
Dec 26, 2011 03:36 AM #97
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