Helping to spur the real estate recovery, and at the same time tackle the city’s need for cash, we can thank our great leaders of Belmont for taking on one more urgent problem in the midst of our city’s financial crises—rampant real estate signs. "You have to hand it to Belmont for taking on such a controversial issue in the midst of the worst real estate market in our country's history. They [Belmont] are once again leading by example and ending decades or carnage caused by the deluge of real estate signs on Sundays", said a Belmont resident who wished to remain anonymous.
On March 11th the city of Belmont adopted an update to its zoning ordinance regulating the use of temporary real estate signs during open houses. The new ordinance will limit directional “A” frame type signs to three per open house. These signs are limited to private property and cannot be displayed in the public right of way. “Perfect”, said founding member of BADD, Belmont against Dumb Directionals. “These signs are totally out of control. They’re everywhere and they’re confusing. One will point in one direction and another right next to it might point in a completely opposite direction. How is one to know which way to go? And they are literally in plain view for hours [1-4] on Sunday! It’s distracting to say the least and more often than not an accident waiting to happen”.
According to folklore purportedly instigated by the indigenous Ohlone inhabitants and perpetuated by modern day Devil Canyon worshippers, many potential buyers who have innocently followed the dizzying display of open house signs into the San Juan canyon (Diablo Canyon) have never returned. “It’s a problem we’ve been dealing with for years—[real estate] agents will lead buyers down into our vast canyons with no clear signs of how to get out. This new ordinance will put a stop to that. There’s no way a buyer will be able to find an open house on our windy roads with three stupid signs. This end-run will solve our problems”. They continued, “We had considered sneaking it in with the tree ordinance but then someone mentioned a view ordinance and that’s the last things we want on people’s minds so we stuck with or original zoning law changes”.
Citizens Rebel Against Public signs, CRAPS, founder said “It’s completely understandable why this emergency ordinance was implemented. Real Estate signs have caused untold number of traffic related deaths in our fine city. Panicky homebuyers desperate to be the first to an open house have tunnel vision—once they see a real estate sign that’s all they can focus on. They are hell-bent-for-leather getting to an open house and they have no respect for the laws of our fine city. Believe me when I tell you, if this doesn't work we’ll look next at outlawing open houses altogether. Who needs them now anyway, that’s what virtual tours are for”.
How bad is it? The traffic cameras at Ralston and El Camino which were installed with great success, reducing an incalculable number of fatalities are evidence that this new ordinance needed to be enacted. “We noticed that red light violations skyrocket when open house signs are in plain sight. Having real estate signs on public property can longer be tolerated. Its public nuisance like everything else our citizens do”.
Belmont may save millions of dollars with this new law. “We were going to hold a special election but we snuck this one in and managed to avoid public scrutiny”. That’s efficient government at work and will help solve our city’s financial woes”. And in addition to the many citations which will gleefully be handed out to unwitting real estate agents, the city hopes to cash in on the storage fees for each sign collected. “We haven’t established any exact dollar amount but it will be proportional to the price of the home being sold—that’s only fair—perhaps one percent will stop these agents or at least put them out of business”.
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