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Never Be Nervous About Speaking In Public Again

By
Managing Real Estate Broker with Pino Agency NJ - 9235504

Never Be Nervous About Speaking In Public Again

Last week, I drove up to Rutgers University to spend the morning learning new skills for speaking in public.  Class was held at the Eagleton Institute for Politics at the Wood Lawn Mansion

I believe that what you say, how you say it, when you say it.....and when you choose not to say it are extremely important, whether you're in the middle of a business meeting or having a one-on-one interaction with a dear family member.  Sitting across the kitchen table from a client demands excellent communication practices, as well.  Improving your skills is always a very good thing, especially for those of us who's lively-hood depend upon customer/client satisfaction. 

Karla Jackson Brewer, a Rutger's professor and also founder of the 'Sine Quanon:  Allies in Healing' center in New York City was the teacher for the class.  Let me just say that she was nothing short of excellent.

Here is a brief overview of what I learned:

Points to remember about public speakingpublic speaking

1)  Speak slowly and clearly.  Stand tall with your weight balanced on both feet when you present yourself to the group. Be present....put yourself in a position to respond and react. 

2)  Let people hear the punctuation.  No question marks at the end of your sentences unless making a list.  A statement that sounds like a question has no authority!

3)  Avoid run-on sentences.

4)  Breathe regularly.  Pause occasionally so your audience can take in what you are saying.  Some folks don't give themselves enough oxygen.  Take ten deep breaths before you begin.  This helps to project your voice.

5)  Tell them what you are going to tell them.  Tell it to them.  Then tell them what you told them.  Audiences want to listen, even if they are hostile.  They want you to do well.

6)  Never apologize.  Don't say, "I'm sorry."  Instead say, "Bear with me", "Give me a minute" or "Just a minute".  Don't apologize for losing your place.  Only apologize if something goes wrong.  Don't panic if the lights go out or if the smoke alarm goes off. 

7)  Lists or a series of points should only consist of 3 items.  People can easily remember 3's.  3 points/3 paragraphs/3 thoughts.

8)  Talk as if you are talking to a friend.  Do not use jargon.  Sometimes the simplest statement is the most powerful.

9)  Over-learn your 3 points.

10)  Move within a 4 foot diameter of the podium, called the 'Speaker's Square'.  Don't be afraid to use your hands.  If you find yourself shaking, simply take a step to the side to change things up a bit. Don't fiddle with your hair.

11)  Make eye contact.  If afraid, find the most sympathetic face and talk to that person for a short period of time, then move your glance to others in the audience.

12)  Speak and project the voice from your diaphragm.  Bounce it off the back wall.  If your voice gets locked in the throat, breathe to release it.  Later, explore what is blocking that area either physically or emotionally, and do some therapeutic healing work.  We connote deeper voices with authority.

13)  Anyone can be an effective public speaker no matter what his/her style.

14)  Never swallow the ends of your words or sentence.  Strongly end each sentence.  In English, the end of a sentence is indicated by a downward or lower tone.

15)  Speak from the heart.  Let people see your authentic self.

16)  Connect your points with meaningful details.  Be specific and concise.  It is useful to present vivid examples of the things to which you refer in your talk.

17)  Acknowledge applause.  Receive it.  Smile!  Don't step on the laugh lines.

18)  Practice often.  Use a tape recorder, speak in front of a mirror or to friends who can point out habitual movements.  Watch out for fillers such as 'um', 'so' 'like' or 'you know'. 

19)  Get friends to videotape you making a short speech. 

20)  Use every opportunity to perfect your public speaking style.

Practice.  Practice.  Practice. 

Try to have fun out there.

(and if you really run into trouble, you could always put into action that old tried-and-true tip of imagining the audience in their underwear!)

Comments(14)

John Michailidis
Real Property Management of Sarasota & Manatee - Sarasota, FL
Real Property Management of Sarasota & M

Public speaking is like anything else -- the more you do it the better you get!

Jul 17, 2011 05:48 PM
Christine Hooks
Pino Agency - Pennsville, NJ
Celebrating 25 Years in Real Estate!

Yes, you're exactly right.  Unfortunately, some folks are so afraid they don't give themselves a chance to improve by practicing.

Jul 17, 2011 05:51 PM
Martin Lopez
Berkshire Hathaway HomeServices California Properties - Cerritos, CA

Excellent points, thanks for sharing!  I am currently considering joining a toastmasters group in my area, I've heard outstanding reviews about them.

Jul 17, 2011 06:14 PM
Rose King
David Tracy Real Estate - Friendswood, TX
Friendswood / Pearland / Houston Bay Area

Hi Chris! These are great tips! Most people hate public speaking, but I don't mind it as long as I know what I need to say. I guess all of those years as a teacher helped me to be more at ease speaking in front of people.

Jul 17, 2011 06:15 PM
Kathy Sheehan
Bay Equity, LLC 770-634-4021 - Atlanta, GA
Senior Loan Officer

This was a great reminder.  Thank you for the comprehensive overview.

Jul 17, 2011 06:26 PM
Pacita Dimacali
Alain Pinel - Oakland, CA
Alameda/Contra Costa Counties CA

Chris

The best training I've ever had was when I joined a Toastmaster Group. I would still be a member if the local chapter hadn't disbanded. Maybe I'll look for another one to join. Really, really good experience and education.

Jul 17, 2011 06:58 PM
Ronald DiLalla
Century 21 Discovery DRE 01813824 - Anaheim, CA
No. Orange Cty Real Estate

Hi Chris,    thanks for sharing the many hi lites of your class..many items for us to ponder.

Jul 17, 2011 07:02 PM
Barbara Todaro
RE/MAX Executive Realty - Happily Retired - Franklin, MA
Previously Affiliated with The Todaro Team

Hi Chris....public speaking is a course that every real estate agent should enroll....I think teaching for a couple of years before real estate was a great help to me in real estate.

Jul 17, 2011 07:02 PM
Elite Home Sales Team
Elite Home Sales Team OC - Corona del Mar, CA
A Tenacious and Skilled Real Estate Team

Public speaking is my favorite thing to do.  Really, I have been a teacher, instructor and platform speaker.  It is fun.

Jul 17, 2011 07:23 PM
Wallace S. Gibson, CPM
Gibson Management Group, Ltd. - Charlottesville, VA
LandlordWhisperer

....and imagine EVERYONE in the audience is in their underwear!  This actually worked for me as I got distracted, relaxed and did my presentation to applause * If they ONLY knew!

Jul 17, 2011 11:18 PM
Margaret Rome Baltimore 410-530-2400
HomeRome Realty 410-530-2400 - Pikesville, MD
Sell Your Home With Margaret Rome

These are some great suggestions.

A suggestion from someone who likes to hold the microphone...

Get to you meeting early and mingle with your audience. It is much better when you know someone and can feel comfortable speaking to them. Frequently you can use something from this encounter in your talk.

Margaret

Jul 18, 2011 02:19 AM
Richard Weeks
Dallas, TX
REALTOR®, Broker

Most people are deadly afraid of public speaking.  I would also add never tell a joke.  Someone is going to be offended.

Jul 18, 2011 02:29 AM
Eric Crane -- Your Full Service, Discount Fee Realtor®
DPR Realty LLC - Gilbert, AZ
Greater Metro Phoenix Arizona

Hi, Chris -- some great tips, that I will bookmark for future reference.  I have heard that more people are afraid of public speaking, than other fears -- such as heights.  Makes sense.  Have a great week!

Jul 18, 2011 05:46 AM
Christine Hooks
Pino Agency - Pennsville, NJ
Celebrating 25 Years in Real Estate!

I read somewhere that public speaking is the #1 fear for most people, that's one of the reasons I decided to write this post. 

Thank you all for visiting here and commenting.

Margaret, I especially like your suggestion.  I can see how nicely that would work.

Jul 18, 2011 06:51 AM