2:38 AM

Real Estate Broker/Owner with New Paradigm Partners LLC EB #1326335

The True Owners of the Bed

I wake up chuckling at something absurd in my dream. I'm highly amused as I move toward the bathroom for a middle-of-the-night pee (one of the disadvantages of getting older - I can't remember the last time I slept through the night). As I'm sitting there (yes, in the middle of the night, I'll cop to sitting down to pee - it's either that or turn on the light and blind myself - there's no hope of hitting the bowl otherwise), I find that while I'm still chuckling, I can't remember anything about the dream except that it was pretty funny.

The cat comes in and brushes up against my leg, letting me know that he's on patrol - his purring tells me that everything is okay. I scratch his back and rub his neck for a few minutes, then get up and wander back to bed, where I find that everything has changed.

Where once there was an efficient arrangement of three dog and two human bodies - a completed jigsaw puzzle to which there are perhaps three or four reasonable solutions - my departure has encouraged blatant opportunism. The two big dogs are now sharing my previous space and my pillow, and it appears that Mary has grabbed several extra inches of room as well. The little dog is not visible - he never is, under the covers and tucked up tight against his mommy.

There is now no apparent room for another person in this bed, and the two big dogs are pretending to be sound asleep - maybe tonight they can pull this off. Threats and orders are whispered to no avail, and I'm unwilling to disturb the silence with the "voice of supreme command" - it's better than even odds that wouldn't have any effect either. So I begin lifting and heaving large bags of inert dog flesh back into a semblance of the former order. Finally I have cleared enough cramped space in which to lie down, threading my body through and around various dog and human parts. This is followed by a period of re-negotiation. The dogs, I'm sure, are wide awake, but still pretending they're not, and are pressing for every advantage, every possible extra inch, stubbornly trying to keep some part of what they have claimed. I press back.

Finally I prevail, having recovered enough space to get back to sleep. Both dogs sigh deeply - they've given up and are now truly asleep again. The cat, who has been watching the whole show from the far corner of the bed, wanders off to do whatever it is he does all night long. I lie there for a few minutes listening to the night sounds through the open balcony door, and then I'm gone too.

Posted by
Mary & Dick

Mary & Dick Greenberg
New Paradigm Partners LLC
2601 S. Lemay Ave. #41
Fort Collins, CO 80525


Data Source: IRES MLS


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Jennifer Manchester
Suburban Properties of Charlotte, LLC - Mint Hill, NC
GRI, ePRO, ASP - Broker/Home Stager

Hi Dick:

That's hysterical.  I have a small dog about 20 lbs and everytime I wake up in the middle of the night he has me hugging the side of the bed.  What is up with that? (LOL)

Jul 20, 2011 09:59 AM #1
Gina Chirico
Lattimer Realty - Fairfield, NJ
Real Estate Agent - Essex County, New Jersey

I'm forever fighting with my two dogs for bed space.  Its amazing that they second you get up to use the bathroom they think your pillow becomes theirs and even funnier when they pretend they are sound asleep!  LOL

Jul 20, 2011 10:05 AM #2
Karen Burket
Bank of Oregon a division of Willamette Valley Bank - Medford, OR
Valley Mortgage Grou, Conventional, FHA, VA, mortgages

Dick, thanks for a great afternoon chuckle!  Our dog is pretty good in that he sleeps through the night either on the floor or in his own doggy bed.  But I tell ya...hubby rolls over to "snuggle" and that dang dog jumps up faster than a bullet and PLANTS himself right in the middle of us!  lol.  Enjoy the day!  :-)

Jul 20, 2011 10:26 AM #3
Ron Marshall
Marshall Enterprises - Saint Michael, MN
Birdhouse Builder Extraordinaire

Dick, that sounds like heaven....to the Chief Cook.  No dogs in my bed, and no cats either.  In fact, no Chief Cook.  I have the queen-sized bed to myself.  Plus, I can turn on the light in the bathroom in my bedroom... but I have a bright-enough nite-lite to make that unnecessary, too.

Now, doesn't that sound like heaven.  Probably not.

Jul 20, 2011 11:08 AM #4
Dick Greenberg
New Paradigm Partners LLC - Fort Collins, CO
Northern Colorado Residential Real Estate

Thanks for the comments, everyone. It may seem wierd to a lot of people to sleep like this, but we're a very close family and we wouldn't have it any other way, in spite of the nightly struggle. People have recommended a king-size bed, but we know that we would still all wind up in the same pile. It might be a bit easier to heave the pretend-sleeping dogs around, though.

Jul 20, 2011 11:15 AM #5
Terri Poehler
Realtor - Coral Springs, FL
Coral Springs Real Estate Agent

Wow, what a great writer you are. I feel like I was right there with you, Mary, the dogs and the cat!

Jul 20, 2011 01:40 PM #6
Ralph Janisch ABR CRS Broker
Janisch & Co. - Conroe, TX
Selling Northwest Houston to good people like you!

Except for the dogs I can relate totally to your whole scenario.  In fact it played out like a surreal movie in my minds eye.

Jul 20, 2011 03:15 PM #7
Tara Stone
eXp Realty - Alexandria Township, NJ
NJ Estates and Stables

That's fantastic!  Phew..we aren't the only crazy people with all these animals..3 dogs, 2 cats, fish and last weekend my husband suprised me with a horse rescued from the meat man...lol

Jul 20, 2011 04:20 PM #8
Mike McCann - Nebraska Farm Land Broker
Mike McCann - Broker, Mach1 Realty Farmland Broker-Auctioneer Serving Rural Nebraska - Kearney, NE
Farm Land For Sale 308-627-3700 or 800-241-3940

All I can say is "ha!" But need five more words.   Ahhh...that should do it...soon I can go to sleep with no dogs or cats...what I lack in love in companionship I gain in space...thanks for the confirmation...both on bed space and why I am up in the middle of the night most nights!!

Jul 20, 2011 04:27 PM #9
Joni Bailey
101 Main St. Realty - Huntsville, TX
Your Huntsville / Lake Livingston Area REALTOR®
The perfect bedtime story! I'm just glad to know that imnot the only one. Zsa Zsa and Zoe said good night!
Jul 20, 2011 04:27 PM #10
Mike McCann - Nebraska Farm Land Broker
Mike McCann - Broker, Mach1 Realty Farmland Broker-Auctioneer Serving Rural Nebraska - Kearney, NE
Farm Land For Sale 308-627-3700 or 800-241-3940

Hmmm... I restudied the picture and need confirmation that 1.  It is a cat on the left corner of the bed.  (I see three dogs so "assume" that is your night owl feline... or 2. Is that something the dogs drug in?

Jul 20, 2011 04:30 PM #11
Lisa Dunham
Alexandria, VA
Associate Broker, Alexandria Virginia Real Estate

So ... this blog is all about your early morning trip to the bathroom!  How funny!!!  We all feel like we know you much better now.  What time will you be creeping through tonight? :-)

Jul 20, 2011 04:48 PM #12
Kristin Hamilton CA Realtor
Sun Lakes Realty - Banning, CA
(909) 557-6966- Specialize 55+ Communties Banning

My dogs do that too. It is amazing that the 3 of them move around when I get up and then when I try to get back into the bed, no spot for me as they have stretched out. God Love Them!

Jul 20, 2011 04:53 PM #13
Lynn B. Friedman
Atlanta Homes ODAT Realty Call/Text 404-939-2727 Buckhead - Midtown - Westside -- and more ... - Atlanta, GA
Concierge Service for Our Atlanta Sellers & Buyers

Dear Dick -

A bit surrealistic in a way, isn't it?  A view from inside your head to us?
Did you get any work done that morning? You must have been tired!

Have a happy day -

Jul 20, 2011 04:53 PM #14
Lenn Harley
Lenn Harley, Homefinders.com, MD & VA Homes and Real Estate - Leesburg, VA
Real Estate Broker - Virginia & Maryland

You need a bigger bed.

Jul 20, 2011 10:44 PM #15
Chris Ann Cleland
Long and Foster REALTORS®, Gainesville, VA - Bristow, VA
Associate Broker, Bristow, VA

That is a scene in our house too many nights.  Thank goodness for the guest room.  I don't know what we'd do without it.

Jul 21, 2011 03:47 AM #16
Jeremy Wrenn
Winslow Homes - Youngsville, NC
C.O.O., Winslow Homes

You were much kinder than I might have been in that situation.  But then again, I'd be pretty mad if 3 dogs showed up and got in my bed.  We have one, and she stays in her bed.

And I always sit at night as well, for some of the same reasons, but mostly so the whole experience is quieter to keep my wife from waking up.  :D

Jul 25, 2011 02:10 PM #17
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Northern Colorado Residential Real Estate
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