My Friend David

By
Real Estate Broker/Owner with Austin Texas Homes, LLC 453249

I have a very dear friend, David, who was recently diagnosed with active cancer for the second time this year.  He successfully battled throat cancer from March to July, was declared fully cancer-free, then he and his wife allowed me to serve as their buyer's agent on the purchase of a new home in August.  A couple of weeks ago they told him that he now has a tumor in his sublingual area which will require surgery at MD Anderson in Houston in the next few days. 

He is currently in a hospital in Austin, and I went to see him yesterday.  He seemed tired, but in good spirits.  I even managed to get a few smiles out of him.  I didn't stay a long time, because I didn't want to wear him out.  He has trouble communicating with his voice, so he was writing on a clipboard sometimes as well.  I actually had to "translate" for the nurse a couple of times.  Basically, he looked like a very sick, slightly older and thinner version of the David that I have known.  He is only 49 years old.

I have known David for about 12 years now, and he was one of the very first people that I told of my decision to get into real estate.  I still remember that we were standing on the balcony of a downtown Austin hotel, at a party celebrating a mutual friend's college graduation party (this would have been around Christmas 1996).  His face lit up like a proud father: "Good for you!  You will do well in that business.  It suits your personality."  As a lifelong salesperson, David was more than qualified to make this statement.  It was a breath of fresh air to me, since I have enormous respect for him. 

It seems especially poignant and difficult to me that someone who has affected so many people with his voice will likely have at least a few months during which he is unable to speak at all.  I know that the surgery they are planning will likely end up requiring months of speech therapy for him.  Frankly, he is one of the most social and energetic people that I have ever known, and he has never been shy about...well, about anything.  He shares his faith with others, and he is always quick with a joke or a kind word.  He even taught my eight-year old son several funny handshakes that my boy still likes to show off around new people.  Encouraging, boisterous, and yes, even a little bit loud - these are words to describe my friend.

Believe me, this post has a bigger point, and I will get there eventually - bear with me, please. 

David has always been a giant in my eyes, and he is one of those people that is not afraid to stand up for his beliefs or to challenge someone when it is needed.  I have always admired this quality in him, among many others. 

When he went through cancer the first time, I told David that I loved him for the first time in our friendship.  Why did I wait to do this until he was sick?  It really wasn't that hard to say. 

Yesterday, during my somewhat short visit, I told him a few other things that were important to me.  I have a men's group that I meet with every week at my church (9 other guys), and I shared with David that we were praying for him.  I also told him (truthfully) that I had shared with those guys some other things about him, namely that I had always admired his ability to share his faith with others, and that he was my hero.  I again told him that I love him, and he said it back to me.  Again, this wasn't hard for me to say, because it is the truth.

I don't ever want to have regrets with my loved ones.  I have lost several close family members, but I never doubted that any of them knew of my love for them.  It may sound trite, but I feel that it is important to share how you feel with those that are important to you. 

I will continue to pray for my buddy, and I hope we can again share lunch or a golf outing (he is a golf maniac!).  Regardless of what happens, I won't have to kick myself for not sharing my feelings with him.

Thanks for taking time to read this post. 

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If you're looking for a home in the Austin area, you can also visit my primary website at www.austintexashomes.com.  Thanks!

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Rainmaker
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Shannon Lefevre
John R. Wood Properties - Naples, FL
Shannon Lefevre, PA Your Naples Smart Girl
Hey did you hear about the scan results today or do they make him wait???
Oct 22, 2007 05:17 PM #64
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Jason Crouch
Austin Texas Homes, LLC - Austin, TX
Broker - Austin Texas Real Estate (512-796-7653)

GAYLE - Thanks for your kind words.  I appreciate your healing prayers for David.  I am also continuing to pray.  He had a PET scan today, and we need prayer that they didn't find any additional cancer in his body.  Of course, I would be happier if they found none at all!  I know that God still does miracles.

SANDY - Thanks so much for your prayers.  My mother-in-law may be going through withdrawal because we halved her pain medication because it seemed to be causing severe psychiatric symptoms.  Tonight, she doesn't know who we are.  We are still hoping that the antidepressant will begin to bring her around, but at this point we don't know the cause of her mental decline.  It seems too rapid to be anything permanent, but we are not sure.

Oct 22, 2007 05:19 PM #65
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Jason Crouch
Austin Texas Homes, LLC - Austin, TX
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SHANNON - That's funny - I was just writing on this one, then I went back and you were commenting at the same time.  I think they are expecting the results on Wednesday for the scan.  Thanks for asking!
Oct 22, 2007 05:20 PM #66
Rainmaker
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Paul Slaybaugh
Realty Executives - Scottsdale, AZ
Scottsdale, AZ Real Estate

Jason, I'm sorry to read this update about Jackie.  I was hoping that she would start cutting through the fog by now.  Are the docs providing a new plan of action other than the antidepressants? 

I'll be holding my breath for the PET results for David on Wednesday.

Oct 22, 2007 05:27 PM #67
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Jason Crouch
Austin Texas Homes, LLC - Austin, TX
Broker - Austin Texas Real Estate (512-796-7653)

PAUL - It is kind of freaking us out now.  She did know my son and called him by name earlier when he said goodnight, but a few minutes before that, she didn't know me OR my wife.  She called me "ma'am" several times.  There is no plan other than this for now.  For David, I read an update on his wife's blog tonight - they already have the film and they are expecting to have the results tomorrow instead of Wednesday.  Thanks for your nice comments, buddy.

Oct 22, 2007 06:28 PM #68
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Jackie Peraza
Perceptions AdverStaging(TM), LLC - Framingham, MA
Home Stager - Framingham, Massachusetts

Jason - You are what Salt and Light look like.

Jackie

Oct 23, 2007 09:45 AM #69
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Jason Crouch
Austin Texas Homes, LLC - Austin, TX
Broker - Austin Texas Real Estate (512-796-7653)
JACKIE - That is one of the nicest things that anyone has said to me here on Active Rain.  Thanks so much for saying that. 
Oct 23, 2007 10:35 AM #70
Rainmaker
338,114
Paul Slaybaugh
Realty Executives - Scottsdale, AZ
Scottsdale, AZ Real Estate
Results?????
Oct 25, 2007 04:35 AM #71
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Jason Crouch
Austin Texas Homes, LLC - Austin, TX
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PAUL - I was planning on writing a separate post on David and Jackie.  David's scan came back clear for any additional cancer, which dramatically affects the prognosis for him.  He is being discharged Friday morning, then they are hoping to get the surgery scheduled soon.

Oct 25, 2007 06:43 AM #72
Rainmaker
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Paul Slaybaugh
Realty Executives - Scottsdale, AZ
Scottsdale, AZ Real Estate
AWESOME!
Oct 25, 2007 07:09 AM #73
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Jason Crouch
Austin Texas Homes, LLC - Austin, TX
Broker - Austin Texas Real Estate (512-796-7653)
PAUL - Thanks for your sincere interest in my good friend's well being. 
Oct 25, 2007 07:22 AM #74
Rainer
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Glenda Conrad
Jack Gaughen Realtor ERA - Camp Hill, PA
Jason-  I completely agree with sharing your feelings with loved ones.  Having recently lost my grandmother, there are many things I feel guilty about not sharing with her....or I ask myself...Could I have gone to see her more often??  But that doesn't change anything...she's still gone.  All I am sure of is that she knew I loved her...I told her EVERYTIME I was with her.  So keep your head up.  Your love for your friend may likely give him the strength to battle through this tough time.  I will keep you both in my prayers.  God bless!
Oct 26, 2007 12:49 AM #75
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Jason Crouch
Austin Texas Homes, LLC - Austin, TX
Broker - Austin Texas Real Estate (512-796-7653)
GLENDA - I so appreciate your prayers for my buddy David.  As long as your grandmother knew that you loved her, there really isn't anything more important that you could have said.  Thanks very much for taking time to read and to comment on this personal post.  Have a great weekend!
Oct 26, 2007 07:07 AM #76
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Trey Thurmond
BCR Realtors - College Station, TX
College Station , Texas Homes

Jason, 

My mother has had cancer on and off for 20 years, my dad has to get a lump looked at this week near areas on his face that have been problematic, my mother-n-law has emphysema, back problems, and other issues and my father -n- law has a type of leukemia, and my favorite client is nursing her brother while he fights cancer throughout his body.  I'll pray for you and your friend too.

Oct 31, 2007 01:56 PM #77
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Jason Crouch
Austin Texas Homes, LLC - Austin, TX
Broker - Austin Texas Real Estate (512-796-7653)

TREY - I don't know if you read the post about my mother-in-law or not, or the update about both of them, but I really appreciate your prayers.  Thanks so much for that.  It sounds like you need some, too.  I will pray for your family's health.  Here are the other posts I mentioned:

A Day of Clarity for my Family

Update on my mother-in-law Jackie and my friend David

Oct 31, 2007 02:51 PM #78
Rainmaker
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Patricia Beck
RE/MAX Properties, Inc., GRI, CDPE - Colorado Springs, CO
Colorado Springs Realty
Jason, this is such a great post written about your friend David.  I knew someone who had throat cancer and it was difficult for her.  I'm sorry to hear he is going through this and I will keep him in my prayers.
Mar 16, 2008 10:36 AM #79
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Jason Crouch
Austin Texas Homes, LLC - Austin, TX
Broker - Austin Texas Real Estate (512-796-7653)
PATRICIA - Thanks for your prayers.  David was recently given less than two months to live.  I haven't closed the door on his healing, but things certainly look grim right now.
Mar 16, 2008 01:37 PM #80
Rainer
194,816
Elizabeth Nieves
The Elizabeth Nieves Realty Group - Durham, NC
Bilingual Raleigh - Durham North Carolina Real Estate Team

I'm so glad you sent these to me. You wrote these right after I left AR for a while. This is the first one I've read, but I am looking forward to knowing David more through your posts.

GBU, Jason!

Sep 11, 2008 10:48 AM #81
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10,393
Gayle Rogers
Solid Source Realty - Canton, GA
ABR

I can so relate to this. My dad died, now going on two years ago, and he never told me growing up that he loved us, he wasn't the kind that expressed his feelings. During his illness he told me that he loved me and now I hold on to that and in a way regretting the times missed not sharing this with each other, even though his actions proved to me that he loved me.

Since my dad passed away, and because I grew up not expressing my feelings too well, I now say it to all my family members often because I don't want them to doubt at all how I feel.

You are an incredible friend to David and a person many people can look up to.

Sep 11, 2008 11:25 AM #82
Anonymous
Not Yet Licensed

His face lit up like a proud father: "Good for you!  You will do well in that business.  It suits your personality."

Good evening Jason,

Your friend, David, was a wise man.

Oct 01, 2008 03:00 PM #83
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