"Cure elegance"...But you can't cure stupid! (Bloopermania)

I had a lot of laughs this week, friends – and most were unintentional. Perhaps the summer sun is causing lethargy. That’s the only excuse I could come up with to explain some of these moronic meanderings. Thanks to Allyson Hoffman for her great contributions from Chicago. 

Bumps and Dumps

“Nice wart bar” (Frog Inspection highly recommended)

“Cards for dump included” (Wouldn’t toilet tissue be less irritating?)

“No lame offers accepted” (...Straight from the Lame Agent Rule Book…)

“Designd with Fang shui” (From the Caravan Guide For Listings That Bite)

“Pool to dye for!” (Are you selling a house or Loreal?)

Who Could Refuse These?

“Perfect for art correction” (Offered by Dominatrix Dorothy)

“Wonderful ocean freezes” (Attention swimmers: I bet that's hard your manhood...)

“Must sell before labor” (This gives new meaning to “contractual obligations.”)

“Nice bean ceilings” (Are you also serving Chianti, Mr. Lecter?)

“Depressed wood floors” (If you had feet in your face every time you were in a horizontal position, you'd be bummed, too.)

Expiration Proclamation

“High-tech TB equip inc”  (Oh yay - I can purchase my very own sanitarium.)

“Mosaic of glob in foyer” (That's what the seller expelled from his throat after seeing your spelling abilities.)

“House on end of peninisulim” (That sounds terminal - my condolences.)

“This home offers cure elegance” (Too bad there's no cure for stupidity.)

“Views of Point Doom” (Point Dume is in Malibu, pal – “Point Doom” is that point on top of your skull where your brain should be.)

That’s it for this week, folks.  Remember, I’m always lurking with the Blooper Scooper!