Sometimes it feels like somebody's (just) watching me.

By
Industry Observer

I've noticed something lately... well actually I have been watching since the rain gods have provided us with the VIEWS & TIMES CLICKED ON counters. (Which are just to the left of the "Bookmark" button.)

And something feels a bit off.

Considering there are over 10,000 rainers, why are so many just "SEEING" what we say and choose not to comment. The number of comments and commenters seem to have stalled out.

I ask this because I find comments VERY helpful. They help me understand what is "connecting" and what is "DIS-connecting" with those who read my words.

Comments are also a GREAT way for someone new to Active Rain to "introduce" themselves to all that is happening here. When I see someone comment on one of my posts, who I never came across before, I tend to go to their profiles and check them out... and go check out any blogs they have posted. Then I try to share a comment.

THEN on top of all of that... there are the fresh new insightful comments that help us consider things that we NEVER even thought of , thus adding, teaching and expanding to what we started in a blog.

While there are those same-old same-old "regular commenters" who I am thankful for... how do we encourage others to share their own unique ideas, concerns and wisdom? Are they discouraged and intimidated by the points that other bloggers have racked up and feel that there is just no way to compete with these more prolific voices?

I believe that commenting is the glue to Active Rain... so my advice is if you are new to the rain DON'T BE AFFRAID to share a few thoughts in a comment.

Anyway, I am a bit perplexed by members in the rain being reluctant to share. If you have any thoughts on this... please comment. ESPECIALLY if you don't usually comment... YOURS is the voice we NEED to hear.

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Rainer
234,728
Diane Rice
Rice Prprty Mgmnt & Rlty, LLC, South Holland, IL - Lansing, IL
SFR, SRES, CNC

Well Craig, I'M  CERTAINLY GLAD YOU ASKED THAT!!!!

Now here is the TRUTH (for me)....first of all, i'm new and trying to feel my way around.  I have certainly gotten welcome signals from a few Rainer's who have commented to my only 2 blogs, and a few return responses from blogs that i left a few comments on.  I even received some very warm emails from "SUPER BLOGGERS"  who took time out of their very very busy blogging schedules (they know who they are).  This encouraged me immensely!!! Thank Y'all!!

Yet, for me there was just that "little bitty itsy nag" that gnawed on me.  This 'lil nag made me feel like a silly ninny!!  It happened when i "picked-up" that i DID NOT respond according to protocol.  This 'lil nag made me draw back before limbering up my knuckles to pen my own thoughts again.  There were a few comments i made where i may have veered from the subject...... with those i felt sooooooooo  stooooooooopid! and vowed i WOULD NOT comment again. 

Then there were a few where i just dove right in thinking i was contributing relevant insight, just to end up being the LAST ONE ON THE BLOG TOPIC TO COMMENT - with NO RESPONSE BACK EVER!!! ......mannnnnnn!!!  i felt i had cleared the room (i quickly did a breath-test).

OK girl....try it again...so i went BACK AT IT!  I even prayed about it saying well,.....that's just my insecurities clicking in...What's MY PROBLEM???  WHY am i trying to wave a flag????  Am i looking for some kind of brownie points or something???  A little acceptance, perhaps???  AHA!!!  it's my personality....they just DO NOT KNOW me.....that's gotta be it.  So, i leveled with myself and said shooooot!!!  I'm just gonna go for it AGAIN and SILENCE those scary nervous jittery feelings!! 

SOOOOO....i went back and REDID my profile & wrote about from whence i came... "my raw reality", joined the "Blogging 101 group", and decided to stick to SHUTTING UP UNTIL I KNOW FOR SURE that i'm supposed to comment or blog! 

Now JUST LOOK AT ME!!! So, Craig, i cannot answer for all....maybe some feel this way, maybe some don't.  This i CAN say.....I do KNOW in time i'll be able to contribute useful tidbits that will benefit Rainer's (when i get my nerves up)!

 

THANKS FOR ASKING!!!!!

Dec 05, 2006 08:39 AM #17
Rainer
54,675
Dave Cheatham
INC Financial - Bartlett, IL

Diane, You have given some of us a little life when it comes to bloging.  Your comments have been good and I thank you for that.  Not everyone on here speaks up like some would like.

It, seems some on here like to blog or comment to see where they can go in points.  I hope that the people that write on comments and other places do so with a heart that truly wants to share something.

Now I thank many of you.  I have only been on AR for a short time, but like many of the things I have read.

I do hope that they get spell check soon.  My typing is really really bad.  I need it.

I am glad to be here and keep learning from many of you.

Thanks All,

Dave

Dec 05, 2006 09:32 AM #18
Rainer
55,577
Dawn Shaffer Life is good!
Battle Ground, WA

Diane, you're hilarious! You're so on the right track, girl. Just let 'er rip! :))) Love your spirit.. don't give up!

Dave -- don't worry about it. You will end up with a word that's spelled correctly but is grammatically wrong. We've all been there 'n' done that and understand what you're saying. It's like being in a conversation with someone. Sometimes we don't express ourselves perfectly but do we care? No...we just love each other for who we are. Your heart is in the right place. That comes through clear as a bell.

Dawn Shaffer

Dec 05, 2006 10:39 AM #19
Rainer
140,655
Phyllis Pafumi
ReStyled to Sell Home Staging New Jersey - Old Bridge, NJ
ReStyled to Sell Staging Homes NJ

Hi Craig

Okay I am a regular (boring, right?) but here it goes. I really think that alot of newbies that were invited to join, did just that. Joined and never did anything more.

I just spoke with someone I invited today and she said I joined and never heard from anyone. This is hard because a lot of people do not realize what they need to do to keep active. Commenting, blogging, writing is very new and time consuming to too many people.

I for one would love to know how to format my Home page because my wording is too spread out. Now that in itself would keep me from continuing on if I was not familiar with how to navigate this site. I think people needed more education on what this site entails and how to get the most from it!

Phyllis Pafumi

Dec 05, 2006 12:05 PM #20
Rainer
109,183
Marci Toliver
438-4642 - Mauldin, SC
Anderson SC, Spartanburg,Greenville SC, Home Staging

Craig, I was a 

 

 

 for a LOOONNNNGGGG  time, then one day I got the nerve to say something. I think on one of your posts.  After that I wrote  a few emails to some members(they know who they are). 

Later on, I was asked to join the RAIN and not just be a lurker! 

Now all of that seems so long ago..I'm chatting with everyone. 

Anyway, I try to make it a point to send a private email to the stagers that join and the realtors that are from my area.. Just welcome to them and invite them to comment  I also ask that they join some of the groups in which I'm a member.  Now I feel like I'm just part of the gang!  I think by raching out to someone else like people did with me ....We can invite people out of the house and into the  .

Just my thoughts on it! 

 

Dec 05, 2006 01:12 PM #21
Rainer
234,728
Diane Rice
Rice Prprty Mgmnt & Rlty, LLC, South Holland, IL - Lansing, IL
SFR, SRES, CNC

Dave: you are kind, and i agree with Dawn, your heart DOES come through as clear as a bell!   Thank you!

Regarding your spelling, you can use spell check from the free "Google toolbar".  If you do not have it , it can be downloaded.   When you get it, highlight what you've written in the comment box and click on it.  

Dawn:  Thanks for the vote of confidence.....it's appreciated! 

Dec 05, 2006 02:00 PM #22
Rainmaker
192,353
Janice Sutton
1st Stage Property Transformations - Murrieta, CA
Home Stager - Temecula Murrieta

You can lead a member to AR...you just can't make em' comment or blog! 

 

Dec 05, 2006 03:42 PM #23
Rainer
31,280
Jessica Hughes
Ambiance Staging - Boulder, CO

I gotta say that I think compared to the independant blogosphere we get a pretty good ROI for our invesment on AR.

When I look at many of the other bigwig stand alone blogs I am startled to see how few comments there are. 

I think we got it good!  Thanks AR!

Dec 06, 2006 01:29 PM #24
Rainer
54,675
Dave Cheatham
INC Financial - Bartlett, IL

Diane, Thanks for the tip.  I never thought of that. Your words do mean a lot.

Dawn. Tha k you too for the kind words.

Dec 07, 2006 02:45 AM #25
Rainer
89,593
Val Allocco
Staged 2 Sell New York & Long Island - Northport, NY
HSE; ASHSR - Home Stager, for Manhattan, Brooklyn & Long Island

I was going to keep my mouth shut on this, however I agree with Phyllis and Marci.  We do have a lot of 'newbies' who join and that's it.  We do need to reach out to them and invite them in!

If everyone reading and commenting on this blog would go to their respective industries and write to one or two of the newbies - take them under your wing and explain how this all works and what the benefits are, I am willing to bet that we would see a big change.

It's like I mentioned in my blog PAY IT FORWARD , and Craig talked about in his STAGE IT FORWARD , we need to reach out to others and show them the kindness that has been shown to us.

Dec 07, 2006 05:08 PM #26
Rainer
234,728
Diane Rice
Rice Prprty Mgmnt & Rlty, LLC, South Holland, IL - Lansing, IL
SFR, SRES, CNC

Val:  in addition to what you and others have observed, & the "welcome wagon" suggestion by William, as a newbie, we need to KNOW that our comments were read by the BLOG AUTHOR!!

After we've contributed our (sometimes intense) input (like mine above), an acknowledged RESPONSE would be nice........otherwise, WHY ASK a question in your blog??????? There are over 7 "recent" topics i left comments on with no responses....... This has caused me to go seek out a few blogs that had ZERO comments and comment on them since i can empathize now......

I'm NOT expecting a response to this comment........

.....though it sure would be nice!

Dec 08, 2006 03:40 AM #27
Rainmaker
231,284
Craig Schiller
Trempealeau, WI

Kaushik: GOOD question... I wish I knew the answer to that one.

Bryant: Ya but... I am insecure and need the gratification of a comment.

Tricia: The nice think is here in the rain you can find storms or soft showers to play in. At least that is how I see it.

Blanca: The whole Newbies Group... should help new members in the Rain.

Skip: ME give YOU tips?  I think you got that backwards! Thanks for the accolades!

Karen: Re-contacting... WOW that is a big challenge! I figure we all are on our own paths and if people want to play in the rain they will. And if not... so be it.

ThreeCee (Carole): YUP I agree... I'm doing it!

Christine: So should I be using my indoor nose?

Ines: B-Day was... come and gone. NOT a milestone... but nice. Yes that is a peeper!

William: FIRST WELCOME! Then GLAD to meet you. GLAD to know this helps. AND I look forward to reading what you share. Oh and by the way... I heard the Active Rain Welcome Wagon is looking for a chairperson!

Dena: Maybe you should work with William in a subcommittee... the Re-Welcome Wagon.

Judy: DIVE IN! DIVE IN! DIVE IN! You will learn... as we all have before you. I have ONLY been here since July myself.

Dawn: You know me.... I go by my gut and I comment what I feel. Then I go back and read others comments. And if what I say parallels or mirrors someone else's comment... SO WHAT?

Suzanne: I agree... the counter is not a true picture... but better than now picture.

Alexander: GREAT analogy. Kinda like BLOG FLOWERS at the Rain Dance!

Diane: When I look back at my old blogs.. they were "ugly" boring and awkward. BUT I had to go thru blog puberty. To get to this point. (Whatever "this point" happens to be.) AND the scary part is I have learned I have a long way to go... one step at a time. My advice, JUST enjoy the journey!  PS: I love your playful passion in your comment here... TAKE THAT into your blog space.

Dave: To be honest...  I blog and comment for MANY reasons... including points. AND if points are your motivation to get going... then get going. And Dave better to be sincere than perfect!

Dawn: What more can I say... you say so much with such a kind and welcoming heart.

Phyllis: Keeping Active in the Rain... sounds like a blog to me!

Marci: YES you were a lurker in "my window". BUT we sucked you into the dark wet world!  We can welcome AND be welcoming! That is all.

Diane: You are learning my friend.... You are learning!

Janice: Wow you are soooo deep. LOL

Dave: You are learning too my friend.... You are learning!

Val: Kindness goes a looooooooong we. AND we have a looooooooong way to go on this journey! I know you know to make sure whoever we invite in knows they are welcome.

Diane: One thing I have learned is that things in life come on our path when they are supposed to... rarley when I think they should or would like, which at time can be VERY frustrating.

Dec 08, 2006 03:58 AM #28
Rainmaker
192,353
Janice Sutton
1st Stage Property Transformations - Murrieta, CA
Home Stager - Temecula Murrieta
That's me..Short & Sweet just not too DEEP!
Dec 08, 2006 04:06 AM #29
Rainer
234,728
Diane Rice
Rice Prprty Mgmnt & Rlty, LLC, South Holland, IL - Lansing, IL
SFR, SRES, CNC

CRAIG:   THANK YOU SO VERY VERY VERY VERY MUCH FOR RESPONDING!!!!!!

 I feel SO MUCH better now!

I promise to grow up and move on and stick to WHY i'm here:  to learn, grow, share, network, encourage, support, comment, respond........etc,

Dec 08, 2006 04:22 AM #30
Rainer
89,593
Val Allocco
Staged 2 Sell New York & Long Island - Northport, NY
HSE; ASHSR - Home Stager, for Manhattan, Brooklyn & Long Island

Hey Diane,

I'm glad that you got your answer...I was just coming to acknowledge your comment.  I think that most blog authors do try to reply to everyone when they can get to it...I know that I do.

At any rate, WELCOME and feel free to drop me a line if I can help you with anything!

Val

Dec 08, 2006 07:18 AM #31
Rainmaker
231,284
Craig Schiller
Trempealeau, WI

Val: As you know, reading, writing and WORKING in the time takes time. AND a lot of it... which is a perfect segway into my  blog Tic-Toc Tic-Toc Blog.

Dec 08, 2006 07:59 AM #32
Rainer
234,728
Diane Rice
Rice Prprty Mgmnt & Rlty, LLC, South Holland, IL - Lansing, IL
SFR, SRES, CNC

Val:  what a sweetie you are to come in looking out for my best interests....there are so many( i'm finding) on AR like you!  Thanks for the love!!!

Craig:  i've graduated from kindergarten now...( blush blush) 

                                           

Dec 08, 2006 03:04 PM #33
Ambassador
380,449
Karen Hurst
RICOASTALLIVING.COM - Warwick, RI
Rhode Island Waterfront!

Hey Diane and others,

I know when you are the last commenter on a blog you may feel that you are just hanging out there. (hanging chad???) Anyway, the biggest thing is to not take it personal. As Craig says, we are all (hopefully) working at regular jobs and to me anyway, getting on AR is more of a relaxing thing. Trying to comment on everyone's blogs is almost impossible and expecting everyone to comment on our blogs is almost impossible. I had someone write to me that I was not commenting on his blogs...I just hadn't had the chance, but then I noticed this person has hardly ever commented on any of my blogs..So I thought hmmm, it's all about HIM!  Point is, I am only back here because you lead me here with another blog comment and that's how it goes, back and forth. So you wont' be the last comment here:)

Dec 08, 2006 11:15 PM #34
Rainmaker
231,284
Craig Schiller
Trempealeau, WI
Karen:  THANKS and WELL SAID!
Dec 09, 2006 03:44 AM #35
Rainer
147,026
Maureen Maureen
Orangeburg, NY
I read a few blogs lately that complained about the content of the comments on blogs.  Personally I would love it if every person who viewed a blog commented.  Even if it is something like - good post, interesting, anything would be nice.  I think sometimes people feel that they don't have anything poignant to say - it is better to say nothing.  I'd even be happy with a "I read your blog" if that is all they can think of to say. Otherwise you feel like you're talking to yourself.  So - as far as my blog goes - one word comments are welcome!
Dec 10, 2006 11:01 AM #36
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