Give Up Being REASONABLE!!!!

Education & Training with Advantage Solutions Group


“The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore all progress depends on the unreasonable man.”

George Bernard Shaw, Man and Superman (1903) "Maxims for Revolutionists"


I got the invitation to my 45th High School Reunion at St. Paul’s School for Girls in Baltimore for this October and thought….while it would be fun to go…money has been tight with our recent move and I still have so much to do. So, I decided it didn't make sense to go. I am Class Secretary this year & so the sweet, new, alumni director, Beth, called to find out if I was coming. I told her I just couldn’t. Graciously, she accepted my refusal and I suggested some others that might help with the event. I thought that was that. Opportunity declined…..on to the “productive” stuff!


Beth called again last week. She said she knew I had said I couldn’t come but she had 3 speaking slots she would love to have me participate in. (I think she'd make it in sales-look for a value or interest and appeal to that!) Even so,  I re-interated, I just couldn’t afford it. But after I got off the phone with her this nagged at me. My husband, Bub, & I have lost 3 close friends in the last few months and I started thinking if I wait 5 more years, how many of my classmates might not be around. There were just 29 of us and these days, there are 27..


But, more annoyingly, the other voice in my head (you do have one of those too, don’t you?) really was persistent reminding me I coached my clients to set their “reasons why not” aside so they could really have their heart’s desires. And here I was thinking in a very limited way to say I couldn’t afford to come. And, the voice got a little louder "what about the value you have that says people before things?” Hmmmm, was I willing to neglect honoring that?

Oh my…so I stopped my automatic thinking that “I couldn’t” and looked from “how could I?”


I realized I had frequent flyer miles I could use for the flight. I am guessing I can find a friend or two that would let me stay a couple of nights and I could even call the Maryland REATOR Assn. and see if they’d like me to do the e-PRO Course or perhaps my WCR friends would like a PMN course, as long as I am in the neighborhood….


Wow, I felt a surge of passion & excitement! Instead of resignation, there was this energized thinking going on that felt very good. I remembered:

You can either have what you want in life or the reasons why not…


Coaching Questions:

  • ·       Is there anything you have given up on being able to do, that you could bring some possibility thinking to?
  • ·       Have you asked others for some ideas of how you could (go on that vacation, buy that house, energize your business)?
  • ·       What do you REALLY, REALLY want?
  • ·       What excuse (reality) do you have to give up?
  • ·       Are you READY??????

Listen to that other voice and play a little bigger game. I think you’ll be glad you did!


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Comments (8)

Jon Quist
Tucson's BUYERS ONLY Realtor since 1996

Oh, come on. If you can't figure out a reason to go and a way to pull it off, what hope does that leave for the rest of us.

I regret I never went to ANY of my reunions. Missed number 50 last October. And mine was soooooo far away, in Phoenix! Shame on me.

So go!

Aug 23, 2011 10:16 AM
Joeann Fossland
Advantage Solutions Group - Tucson, AZ
Master Certified Coach to Motivated Agents

Thanks Jon! We all have hope...You can make the 55th! I think since we were such a small class, it's probably a little different than someone who went to a large school.

What a smart man you were to move south :>)

Aug 23, 2011 10:19 AM
Kym Wright
Prudential California Realty - Olivenhain, CA
Hi Joeann, This is so true. Many times clients begin to look at what they cannot afford or find and forget to focus on the positives of what they can obtain. Thank you! And have fun.
Aug 23, 2011 10:19 AM
Joeann Fossland
Advantage Solutions Group - Tucson, AZ
Master Certified Coach to Motivated Agents


Yep, and that's one of the benefits in working with an agent who can turn the negatives into opportunities! Yoiu sound like a wise woman!!! (and "fun" is a given with me)

Aug 23, 2011 10:25 AM
Andrea Swiedler
Berkshire Hathaway HomeServices New England Properties - New Milford, CT
Realtor, Southern Litchfield County CT

Joeann, isn't that funny, we are often the last to follow our own advice! I am sure things will turn out as you want them to!

You are featured in the Positive Attitude for the Weary Soul Group!

Positive Attitude for the Weary Soul!

Aug 24, 2011 12:19 AM
Brian Madigan
RE/MAX West Realty Inc., Brokerage (Toronto) - Toronto, ON
LL.B., Broker


You're right. Progess is giving up on the excuses that continue to maintain the status quo.


Aug 24, 2011 03:26 AM
David Gibson CNE, 719-304-4684 ~ Colorado Springs Relocation
Colorado Real Estate Advisers LLC - Colorado Springs, CO
Relocation, Luxury & Lifestyle residential

That little voice in our heads can be one of our best friends. Glad you listened. Enjoy.

Aug 24, 2011 12:48 PM
Joeann Fossland
Advantage Solutions Group - Tucson, AZ
Master Certified Coach to Motivated Agents

Thank you Andrea!!!!
Brian-what a great quote! I may use that!
David-isn't that the truth!!! I'm glad I listened too. Sometimes I seem to be moving to fast to hear, but am getting better at checking in!

Aug 24, 2011 01:21 PM