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"Call me SAP" - Dopey & Hilarious MLS Remarks

Reblogger
Real Estate Broker/Owner with Home Jane Realty BRE# 01439865

If you are not following Gwen Banta, then you absolutely must.  Her series of MLS bloopers should be make into a book.  She is also a writer so her witty remarks stop us wanting to cry with frustration and make us laugh.  Her series should be called 
"Gwen's Banter" 

Original content by Gwen Banta BRE # 01362887

Sign that says "dopey"

I propose that Realtors be asked to take a spelling test if they plan to write their own listing remarks. Kids in school have to pass spelling tests, so why shouldn’t we? However, I must admit that’s a tall order. When I think of how many agents actually pronounce “Realtor” as “Real-a-tor,” I shudder to think of the spelling outcome. Is there such a thing as Death By Spelling? You decide:

I.Q. Alert: Missing ‘I’ !

“Will go fast. Call me SAP.” (Why not…I’m sure all your friends do.)

“Can be expansted” (Too bad your brain can’t.)

“Tasty décor” (Brought to you by the makers of edible panties.)

“Handmaid bar” (I’ve heard those vixens really like to get toasted.)

And Then There’s Stan…

“Stanless kitchen” (That’s because Stan was caught in the neighbor’s bedroom.)

“Good semented driveway”  (Let me guess – Stan again?)

“Some stan on carpet” (Methinks Stan needs sex rehab.) 

“Dick space on top of garage” (Don’t tell me, tell Stan!)

You Know When Your Days Are Numbered                                                                                                                                                      

“You can’t louse with this” (Offered by Spice-o-Lice Realty)

 “Nice antique laps” (That’s what  horny Uncle Paddy says about his rest home.)

“Settlement in back of house” (What is this – a Pilgrim alert?)

“Beutiful boogervilla tree” (An homage to Pancho Villa’s snot problem?)

“Need truss advisery” (Ok. I’d advise you to put the truss on your hernia – it’s that lump that’s bigger than your brain.)

Kiss Your Petute Good-Bye

“Unpermanent space” (Kind of like your office chair?)

“Cezherstoned counters” (…Not nearly as stoned as you are!)

That’s it for this week, friends. Spell well and Sell well!

 

 

Comments (27)

Jane Peters
Home Jane Realty - Los Angeles, CA
Los Angeles real estate concierge services

Bruce,  one can always rely on you for some quick-witted repartee.  You and Gwen should go into business together.

Aug 31, 2011 05:43 PM
Bruce Walter
Keller Williams Realty Lafayette/West Lafayette, Indiana - West Lafayette, IN

Jane, you have such a great suggestion:   GWEN's BANTER

Perhaps Gwen will send you a signed copy of one of her books in appreciation, like Bill O'Reilly does on The O'Reilly Factor.  ^_~  

Aug 31, 2011 05:48 PM
Jane Peters
Home Jane Realty - Los Angeles, CA
Los Angeles real estate concierge services

Bruce,  I will treasure it.  Especially if your name is on it too.

Aug 31, 2011 05:55 PM
Marilyn Boudreaux
Marilyn Boudreaux, Century 21 Bono Realty - Lake Charles, LA
Lake Charles LA Century 21 Realtor

This made me chuckle especially after a "dry" CE class today where misleading MLS comments were discussed HA

Aug 31, 2011 06:33 PM
Dorie Dillard Austin TX
Coldwell Banker Realty ~ 512.750.6899 - Austin, TX
NW Austin ~ Canyon Creek and Spicewood/Balcones

Good morning Jane,

I have laughed hysterically at each one! This is priceless!! Thanks for the re-blog..I'm off to her post to comment!!

Sep 01, 2011 01:33 AM
Craig Rutman
Helping people in transition - Cary, NC
Raleigh, Cary, Apex area Realtor

Gwen kills me with her Realtor Fail blogs! She really needs to put those in a book and get it published!

Sep 01, 2011 02:37 AM
Lee & Carol Barbour, REALTORS
Murphy and Hayesville, NC; Hiawassee, Blairsville, Blue Ridge GA - Murphy, NC
Mountain Living Team in Murphy NC and North GA

Gwen's interpretations of the bloopers were hilarious. What a great collection and thanks for sharing them with us.

Sep 01, 2011 03:25 AM
Sharon Paxson
Sharon Paxson, Realtor® EQTY Forbes Global Properties - Newport Beach, CA
Newport Beach Real Estate

Hi Jane - this is one hilarious post! I have seen so many typos - but this is a great interpretation. I often wonder why some agents dont use spell check.

Sep 01, 2011 04:54 AM
Jane Peters
Home Jane Realty - Los Angeles, CA
Los Angeles real estate concierge services

Marilyn,  very timely then.

Dorie,  you will laugh every week.  There are some priceless ones in each post.

Craig,  I think so.

Carol,  you are welcome.

Sharon, I don't think they are bright enough.

Sep 01, 2011 07:19 AM
Janice Roosevelt
Keller Williams Brandywine Valley - West Chester, PA
OICP ABR, ePRO,Ecobroker

Jane, so glad you reblogged, have been off line and this was worth coming back . :)

Sep 01, 2011 07:23 AM
Jane Peters
Home Jane Realty - Los Angeles, CA
Los Angeles real estate concierge services

Janice,  glad you caught it.

Sep 01, 2011 07:25 AM
Broker Patty Da Silva Da Silva
Green Realty Properties® - 954-667-7253 - Cooper City, FL
Top Listing Broker

I love her posts... Gwen writes of the best blogs on AR.

Sep 01, 2011 02:08 PM
Jane Peters
Home Jane Realty - Los Angeles, CA
Los Angeles real estate concierge services

Patty,  doesn't she just.

Sep 01, 2011 02:35 PM
Larry Brewer - Benchmark Realty llc
Benchmark Realty LLc - Nashville, TN

Jane - thanks for this, I can always use a good laugh. I'm a little curious about Settlement in back of house”.

 Of course you've seen me and my wild keyboard, so who am I to talk.

Sep 02, 2011 05:17 AM
Jane Peters
Home Jane Realty - Los Angeles, CA
Los Angeles real estate concierge services

Larry,  beware, or I will have to start sending yours to Gwen.  And can you imagine who lives in that settlement?

Sep 02, 2011 05:54 AM
Lynn911.com ~ Dallas Real Estate Agent Top Team
Dallas Houses for Rent Dallas Apartment Rentals Lynn911.com - Dallas, TX

Jane these are great I needed humor for today... bravo well done !

Enjoy your Labor Day Weekend ;p

dallas homes for rent by owner dallas houses for rent by owner lynn911.com

Sep 02, 2011 06:00 AM
Brenda Mullen
RE/MAX Associates - San Antonio, TX
Your San Antonio TX Real Estate Agent!!

Those are hysterical.  I thinks I am off to subsribe :)!

Sep 02, 2011 10:30 AM
Susan Neal
RE/MAX Gold, Fair Oaks - Fair Oaks, CA
Fair Oaks CA & Sacramento Area Real Estate Broker

Hi Jane - Those are pretty funny (or sad, depending on where you stand I guess).  I see crazy made-up words in MLS listings all the time and sometimes I can't figure what the heck they are trying to say!

Sep 02, 2011 02:46 PM
Jane Peters
Home Jane Realty - Los Angeles, CA
Los Angeles real estate concierge services

Lynn,  thank you, you too.

Brenda, you will be highly entertained.

Susan,  sometimes you don't want to.  

Sep 02, 2011 05:29 PM
Melissa Zavala
Broadpoint Properties - Escondido, CA
Broker, Escondido Real Estate, San Diego County

Gwen has a great sense of humor and she always seems to find some poor SAP (aor should I say asap) to pick on.

Sep 05, 2011 03:51 AM