This morning, my husband Michael and I had breakfast at one of the local greasy spoons. At the booth next to ours, there were two teenagers. I was facing them, my husband had his back to them.
The one that was facing me wore very dark, but sporty, sunglasses the entire time he ate. Like typical teenagers, there was a lot of joking and carrying on while they ate breakfast.
Anyway, not that I consider myself a bastion of etiquette-- I found it rather rude that this "kid" would sit in a restaurant and eat with his sunglasses on.
Was he just being precocious? Was he stoned and trying to hide his red eyes? He sure was giggly enough.
I feel like manners are becoming less and less important as time goes on. This was just another example of a kid whose parents did not teach him to remove his sunglasses when at the dining table. Or so I thought.
The teenagers finished eating before we did and when the bill came, the one wearing the sunglasses finally removed them so he could see the bill clearly.
As it turns out the poor kid had one lazy eye. It was very conspicuous. He was wearing sunglasses out of shame or embarrassment or both. Bless his heart! (as they say in Atlanta) It was at that precise moment that I also realized that his "stoned giggling" was actually just a very engaging smile and likable laugh. All at once, I had a complete shift in my perception of this individual.
Tears came to my eyes, because I was ashamed of what I had felt prior to him removing his sunglasses. I judged the poor kid because of his appearance. I judged the proverbial book by it's cover. I was so ashamed; I felt just awful and still do. Isn't it hard enough to "fit in" as a teenager-- much less with a physical abnormality? That poor kid!
Meanwhile, when I was going through chemotherapy / radiation last year, I used to get so upset when people would stare at my bald head and, since I look far too young and healthy to have cancer, assumed that I was a "skinhead" or "punk"-- or member of whatever other group that the looky-loos didn't like. (For my regular readers-- yes, I am still going through chemo right now, but this particular drug doesn't cause hair loss.)
The reason I wrote this is because, in reality, we all know that we shouldn't judge people based on appearances. Most of us were taught this at a young age with the old "don't judge a book by it's cover" adage. Every once in a while though, we screw up...and I did it today. I write this in hopes that this will be just another example for people to file away in their brains; just another little anecdote to remind us to be kind to our fellow man.
Candace Robinson recently wrote a post about this same thing. She has a fantastic video from YouTube on her post as well. Check out: Find Your Courage, Challenge Your Fears!
I hope I never do what I did this morning again.
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