To Ma'am or not to Ma'am, shouldn't really be the question . . .
Oh, I'm going to be very unpopular for this one! But as my husband used to say, "God didn't me put on this Earth to be popular."
My Assistant, who happens to be my daughter, posted about her dilemma regarding my granddaughter's teacher preferring to not be called Ma'am. Lo, and behold it was featured and the comments poured in. Some agreed with her position; that the teacher just has to get over herself. But many respectfully disagreed. To those, I must respectfully disagree.
My children were raised to use Ma'am and Sir. In fact, when they didn't use them I couldn't hear them. Funny how my ears would slam shut.
"Huh?"
"I'm a Ma'am. Not a huh."
My children were riduculed by classmates, and I'm sorry to say some family members. Didn't change our rules. Ma'am and Sir are a sign of respect. To not use them is a sign of disrespect.
I'm no spring chicken and I get that times have changed. But that doesn't mean they've changed for the better. Showing respect for those in authority should NEVER go out of style. I don't care where you were raised -- South, North, East or West -- manners are universal. Just because you feel old when someone calls you Ma'am doesn't mean you're right. If you are in a position of authority; be it as a teacher, police officer, judge or simply an elder, you've earned the right to be addressed with respect. And unless you do something to show you don't deserve that
respect, you should not only enjoy it, you should insist upon it.
Every day we hear of children running roughshod over Educators and those in a position of authority, and we wonder how it happened. I'll tell you how it happened. It happened because we decided being friends with our children was more important than being parents. We allowed the minority to tell us we were being too tough on our children by insisting upon respect. If they don't have to show it at home, why should they have to show it at school? Not only have we undermined teachers, now they're undermining us by not respecting our teachings.
My daughter made a couple of very good points;
1. How often do you hear men declining to be called Sir? Certainly not as often as you hear a woman declining being called Ma'am.
2. Shouldn't the rules of the house trump the rules of the school? Where does a child spend more time?
Personally, I think we need to get back to the basics with most things. The teacher may PREFER not to be called Ma'am, but that's a personal preference and one that I would expect the adult to get over. Not the child. Teachers should not only appreciate students displaying respect for their authority, they should welcome it.
I have no doubt that my daughter and my granddaughters teacher will reach an amicable solution for everyone. But I have to admit, I'm saddened that this is even an issue.
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