Special offer

"Grate Views" - Grating Bloopers from the Blooper Scooper

By
Real Estate Agent with Sotheby's International Realty BRE # 01362887

Woman grating cheese

From cheese to sleaze, the MLS and the local real estate ads across the country were full of bloopers this week. Thanks to Jane Peters, Dick Beals and Patrick Martin for their hysterical contributions. Read ‘em and weep:

It’s a Matter of Fact

“Grate views” (I assume that cutting the cheese is your specialty...)

“Lots of tees in back” (Lots of golf balls in pool.)

“Good build” (Is this a house or Matthew McConaughey?)

“Roof peeked at top” (IQ peaked at 80.)

“Ugli fixer but rooms in tack” (Perhaps that will make up for your lack of same…)

It’s a Matter of Perspective

“Views of Holywood sign” (There’s nothing holy about LaLa Land, pal.)

“Send all socs via email” (But how does one scan argyle?)

“Dogs need bee in houser” (Agent needs bee in schooler.)

“Water run-off needs attention” (This must be a nursing home)

“Private beach for bondfires” (Why not – my stocks already went up in flames!)

It’s A matter of Time

“Enjoy hot tub – mold removed” (Enjoy Ward B – frontal lobe removed.)

“Beetiful lot” (I could have had a V8!)

“Stop at end – big dip” (I was just thinking the same thing…)

“Please take down lights nad lock droors” (After that comment, I’ll need to wash my "droors"!)

It’s a Matter of Inhaling

Above clouds – it’s like flying” (You should know. Peace out, dude.)

For more real estate humor, please visit Gwen at www.sherlockofhomes.blogspot.com, or at Agent Genius:http://agentgenius.com/author/gwen/

 Visit www.gwenbanta.com for all your California real estate needs!

 

Gwen Banta
Sotheby's International Realty - Los Angeles, CA

LOL! Jane, they don't walk amongst us...they pass out amongst us.

Sep 23, 2011 09:05 AM
Andrea Swiedler
Berkshire Hathaway HomeServices New England Properties - New Milford, CT
Realtor, Southern Litchfield County CT

Gwen, I am sure they are more relaxed than I am, LOL. I can assure you of that.

Sep 23, 2011 10:45 AM
Gwen Banta
Sotheby's International Realty - Los Angeles, CA

Andrea, I have some little blue pills... :-)

Sep 23, 2011 10:57 AM
Donne Knudsen
Los Angeles & Ventura Counties in CA - Simi Valley, CA
CalState Realty Services

 ROTFL

Sep 23, 2011 12:30 PM
Donne Knudsen
Los Angeles & Ventura Counties in CA - Simi Valley, CA
CalState Realty Services

Another great list Gwen!  You had me LMAO from, “Lots of tees in back” (Lots of golf balls in pool.)

Sep 23, 2011 12:31 PM
Gwen Banta
Sotheby's International Realty - Los Angeles, CA

Donne, maybe I should have said "Lots of putt-putt in bathroom."

Sep 23, 2011 12:43 PM
John M. Scott
BRE # 01442690, Scott Keys Properties - San Francisco, CA
Broker / Owner San Francisco Bay Area

“Send all socs via email”, I'm at a loss.... But my favorite is "Above clouds – it’s like flying” (You should know. Peace out, dude.) Kewl.

Sep 23, 2011 02:15 PM
Gwen Banta
Sotheby's International Realty - Los Angeles, CA

John, I live in Laurel Canyon, a former hippie enclave - thus I know when someone has been toking! Peace out.

Sep 23, 2011 02:51 PM
Janet Jones
Just Your Style Interiors, LLC - Kihei, HI
Home Staging, Interior Redesign Kihei, Maui, Hawaii

Hi Gwen--I so look forward to this post every week.  My favorite is the "mold removed"--why would any agent even think to write that . . . .

Sep 23, 2011 05:05 PM
Gwen Banta
Sotheby's International Realty - Los Angeles, CA

Janet, the seller is lucky that agent didn't write "No longer lethal."

Sep 23, 2011 06:12 PM
Dick & Sandy Beals
Wilmington Real Estate 4U Wilmington, NC - Wilmington, NC

Gwen,

Ah, it  just keeps coming!  Stop at end, love it

Dick Beals

Sep 23, 2011 11:48 PM
Jay Markanich
Jay Markanich Real Estate Inspections, LLC - Bristow, VA
Home Inspector - servicing all Northern Virginia

Well, I see rooms in tack all the time.  And I have a post today about a sinking hot tub.  What timing!

You get that sinking feeling when you read some of these?  Personally, they make my morning!

Sep 23, 2011 11:54 PM
Mike Cooper, Broker VA,WV
Cornerstone Business Group Inc - Winchester, VA
Your Neighborhood Real Estate Sales Pro

Awesome, as always, Gwen.  I think that "stop at end - big dip" might be where the J Lo butt enhancement surgeries got started. 

Sep 24, 2011 01:24 AM
Gwen Banta
Sotheby's International Realty - Los Angeles, CA

Thanks for reading, Dick. Have a nice weekend!

Sep 24, 2011 03:30 AM
Gwen Banta
Sotheby's International Realty - Los Angeles, CA

Jay, I consider a lot of these to be brain-teasers. They give me my morning cranial workout!

Sep 24, 2011 03:32 AM
Gwen Banta
Sotheby's International Realty - Los Angeles, CA

Mike, some dips are considered celestial!

Sep 24, 2011 03:34 AM
Juli Vosmik
Dominion Fine Properties - Scottsdale, AZ
Scottsdale/Cave Creek, AZ real estate 480-710-0739

Gwen, another great week of bloopers.  I hope those dogs aren't getting stung too badly.

Sep 25, 2011 04:07 AM
Gwen Banta
Sotheby's International Realty - Los Angeles, CA
Juli, I think it's the seller who got stung when he enlisted that agent!
Sep 25, 2011 05:23 AM
Sharon Paxson
Sharon Paxson, Realtor® EQTY Forbes Global Properties - Newport Beach, CA
Newport Beach Real Estate

HI Gwen - these are hilarious, and Jane Peters told me to read your blog.

Oct 03, 2011 08:03 AM
Gwen Banta
Sotheby's International Realty - Los Angeles, CA

Sharon, thanks for reading. I do the blooper posts every Friday, so be sure to subscribe. I am going to hire Jane to do my marketing - she is obviously brilliant at it! :)

Oct 03, 2011 08:32 AM